Do you know Venti? That carefree drunk bard that is known to be the Anemo Archon, or Barbatos, by the players? Yes, he is the most perfect waifu in the whole game, as of the time this is written. I will explain to you why he is, but before that, I will give a brief explanation of who Venti is.
Venti is a young boy with a slim body (at least, that is what he appears like now, because he actually takes his friend’s appearance, who died to free Mondstadt, but who really cares? I still want to f*ck him really hard.) Well, as explained above, he is actually a god, the Anemo Archon. About the appearance, he has aqua-green-colored eyes and dark-blue hair which fades into aqua-colored at the braids. He is carefree and playful, and yet he is actually bold and is not afraid to insult those who annoy him, even if the person that annoys him is stronger than him. But, he is actually very well-liked because of his talent as a bard. He is also a very good drinker, and he drinks a lot of alcoholic beverages, although bartenders tend to see him as a minor because he takes the form of his friend, who is (or, at least, looks like) a minor. Now that I already briefly explained who Venti is, let’s jump into why Venti is the greatest creation humanity has ever made.
Venti, a free-spirited bard, is actually a vessel of Barbatos, the God of Freedom, and of course, my one and only wife. I love him so much I am willing to die for him.
Content Warning: contains inappropriate language, viewer discretion is advised. You have been warned.
Firstly, his thighs. Man, do you not see his thighs? Holy smokes those thighs are REALLY smooth. It is really inviting you to sleep in his lap. Just look at his thighs. I mean, who can resist those juicy thighs? Those thighs are way more tender than a f*cking A5 Japanese Wagyu steak. A GODDAMN A5 JAPANESE WAGYU STEAK. You will feel ascended after sleeping on those heavenly thighs, I will guarantee. I once had a dream of me sleeping on Venti’s lap, and OH BOY THAT DAY WAS THE BEST SLEEP I HAVE HAD FOR AT LEAST 5 YEARS.
Secondly, his hair. Okay, I may get subjective here (actually, isn’t the whole article subjective, but who am I to care, right?) because his hair has one of my favorite colors. But come on, his hair color gradient is just perfectly fit for his theme, especially when it glows while Venti is using his skills. It is such a great addition to his beauty. Also, imagine his hair, imbued with the fragrance of the Cecilia flower. I can sniff his hair all day and night without getting sick of it. I can even smell the fragrance of his hair through the screen (really?). That is just how fragrant his hair is.
Thirdly, his voice (before continuing on reading this, I am talking about his JP Voice, which is voiced by Murasa Ayumu, a Japanese voice actor.) Thank you Murase Ayumu for the heavenly voice Venti has. It is very, I mean VERY soothing. Imagine you have a really stressful day after studying or work, then you sit in your room, you open Genshin Impact, and then his soothing voice just enters your ear… If my ears could cum, it would cum like a hentai protagonist filling a loli’s pussy after not having sex for 2 years. It really is that good. Although I no longer play Genshin Impact, I still downloaded Venti’s voice and changed all of my laptop sound system settings into his voice, and you know what? IT WORKS LIKE A F*CKING CHARM. I no longer feel any signs of stress and depression. I suddenly became the most mentally stable person in the world. Nothing can make me feel stressed or depressed as long as I have Venti’s voice as my laptop’s system sound. I don’t need any medications, I have Venti. His voice is truly the embodiment of freedom, my freedom from stress, depression, and all other mental issues.
Fourthly, his feet. Yes, anime girls wearing stockings are one of those things that can ascend you to the heavens. But, have you seen anime femboys wearing stockings? (Spoiler alert: IT’S WAY HOTTER THAN WHAT YOU WOULD EXPECT) Especially, in this case, Venti. I can imagine how hot he is when he moans while I lick his musky feet either with the stocking on or off (although I do prefer him wearing the stocking. It’s even hotter that way.) I don’t even care how sweaty or how much of the hormone that reeks into his feet, one thing that I know is that his feet are never smelly, and will never be. Granted that if his feet are even smelly, I would totally lick his feet regardless. You just can’t resist the moan, that heavenly moan coming out of his throat that echoes into the.
Lastly, his body scent. His HOLY scent. The combination of his smooth yet elevating pheromones and the robust yet soothing aroma of the Cecilia scent that is all over him, just make the best scent combination, even the alcoholic scent he is in every time he gets drunk, would never even mask the scent of his pheromone, combined with the aroma of Cecilia that always lingers on his body. I really want to push him to the bed and sniff all over his body like a rabbit in heat attacking its partner relentlessly while mating.
The conclusion is, that I love Venti. I love him from the deepest of my heart. I don’t care if everyone that knows me calls me gay. It doesn’t really matter anymore. It does not, and will never affect my love for Venti. I want to protect Venti with all my life. My life does not matter if it is about Venti, and only if it is about Venti. I don’t care if you guys want to harm me, but if anything happens to my wife Venti, I will kill everyone and then kill myself afterward. Venti is love, Venti is life.
Written by: Debin – G’21
Editor note: GWS.