H(OURS) Time: Spin off, Last Chance

Entry Writchal #3
Tema: Mati


Tuhan adalah suatu sosok yang wujud, zat dan keberadaan-Nya absolut di alam semesta ini. Semua yang berada di luasnya semesta ini termasuk salah satu ciptaan-Nya. Dia memiliki 99 nama sebutan, di samping itu namanya pun termasuk kemampuannya.

Malaikat, jin, setan, roh dan manusia hidup di dimensi yang berbeda. Terdapat penghalang bagaikan tembok cahaya yang membatasi para makhluk guna menjaga kedamaian antar dimensi dan penduduknya.

Terdapat tiga dimensi di alam semesta ini: Dimensi Bawah, Dimensi Menengah dan Dimensi Atas.

Malaikat memiliki izin atas ketiga dimensi tersebut. Dikarenakan mereka memiliki kewajiban akan perintah Tuhannya. Mereka sangat patuh kepada Tuhannya tersebut.

Setan hanya memiliki kehidupan di dimensi bawah. Mereka pernah melakukan kesalahan besar yang menyebabkan dijatuhkan dari dimensi atas ke dimensi bawah. Namun beberapa dari mereka masih ada yang mampu berpindah dimensi.

Jin dan manusia tinggal pada dimensi yang sama. Namun terdapat sebuah perbedaan. Jika manusia terbentuk karena adanya wujud jin yang dibaluri tanah dari bumi sebagai bentuk fisiknya. Dan jin hanyalah bentuk roh biasa tanpa adanya bentuk fisik yang terlihat.

Lalu untuk roh adalah keberadaan yang berbeda dari mereka semua. Roh terbentuk atas kehendak Tuhan karena adanya suatu tindakan dan kekuatan pikiran yang terbentuk dari ke-4 makhluk yang lain. Seperti contoh, para dewa.

Namun ada pula roh yang terbentuk karena keinginan suatu fenomena besar yang ada. Keberadaannya tidak pernah diketahui dan diperbolehkan oleh Tuhan. Dan mereka semua disebut sebagai Roh Iregular (Irregular Spirits)

 

“Hai Rani, selamat malam. Mungkin sudah lebih dari sepuluh tahun semenjak terakhir kali aku kemari bersama Amelia.” Berdiri di hadapan batu nisan bertuliskan nama ‘Rani’. “Mungkin kau di sana sedang membicarakan diriku dengan yang lainnya ya, haha.”

Seorang pemuda yang telah kehilangan ketiga istrinya dan seorang putrinya, yang tersisa hanyalah kedua putrinya. Rakha, sosok pahlawan yang menyelamatkan banyak siswa dari insiden King Goblin dan sosok penjahat yang menyulut Perang Dunia ke-3 juga pembunuh para Pahlawan Besar.

“Kau tahu Rani. Hidupku saat ini sangat tidak baik-baik saja. Aku takut semuanya akan hilang begitu saja saat di dekatku. Bahkan kalian pun pergi meninggalkanku. Bukankah itu tidak adil?” Menaruh setangkai bunga yang berbeda-beda warnanya pada setiap batu nisan.

Di sebelah makam Rani terdapat makam ketiga istri juga satu putrinya. “Aku hanya bercanda, kalian lah yang menentukan pilihan itu. Meskipun rasa sakit ini tetap ada, kalian adalah cintaku yang sangat pemberani dan ku hormati.” Mencium satu per satu batu nisan dan pergi meninggalkan pemakaman itu dengan rambut panjang yang diberai tertiup angin malam.

~***~

Jauh di atas sana, salah satu mantan malaikat agung, malaikat maut, Azrael, dipenjara karena menentang perintah Tuhan dan juga memilih seorang manusia dibanding dengan tugasnya. Karena hal itu, dirinya diberi julukan sebagai Broken Angel, yang artinya, sebuah malaikat yang gagal dalam memenuhi tugasnya.

Namun karena adanya beberapa insiden yang baru saja terjadi, Azrael terbebas dari penjara Dimensi Atas. Memang pada awalnya Azrael ingin sekali pergi secara paksa, tetapi dirinya merasa sebuah keberuntungan sedang berada pada pihaknya. Ia pergi melarikan diri ke Dimensi Tengah, Galaksi Bima Sakit, Bumi.

Karena aturan semesta yang berlaku, sayap Azrael yang awalnya berjumlah 49 pasang pada saat di atas, hanya menjadi tiga pasang saja saat turun ke bumi. Kekuatannya pun turun lebih dari 90% semulanya. Yang dia mampu lakukan hanya beberapa sihir sederhana tingkat atas.

Tujuan dirinya memilih bumi karena ingin bertemu dengan seseorang, yaitu Lucifer. Dirinya mengetahui beberapa rumor beredar mengenai pemberontakan Lucifer. ‘Sempat melawan bahkan memojokkan Tuhan’, itulah yang Azrael incar. Karena jika hal itu betul kebenarannya, maka akan ada kesempatan baginya untuk mewujudkan impiannya.

“Mungkin aku harus menghilangkan terlebih dahulu sayapku,” memandangi punggungnya yang terdapat tiga pasang sayap hitam.

Hitam ya … wajar saja, karena aku sudah dibuang oleh Tuhan. Rambutku jadi hitam juga.

Dengan menekan aura dan juga kekuatannya, sayap pada punggungnya menghilang dan pakaian yang dikenakan berubah mengikuti sekitar yang ada. “Pakaian apa ini? Yukata? Apakah ini Jepang?”

Mungkin bagi Azrael yang sudah lama tidak melihat bumi dan juga tidak tahu peristiwa apa saja yang sudah terjadi, semua itu akan langsung dikaitkan dengan pengetahuan terakhirnya. 

“Permisi,” menyapa seseorang yang kebetulan melewati Azrael menggunakan bahasa Jepang.

“Ya?” orang itu kebingungan dengan sapaan Azrael, mungkin lebih tepatnya bingung dengan bahasa yang digunakannya.

“Apakah kamu tahu di mana kuil, tempat untuk aku berdoa?” menggunakan bahasa Jepang.

Orang itu kebingungan dengan bahasa yang digunakan oleh Azrael, “Anu … apakah kamu berasal dari pulau seberang?”

Entah kenapa meskipun aku tidak tahu bahasa apa ini, tapi aku dengan mudah paham dengan artinya.

“Ah maksudku, apakah kamu tahu di mana kuil, tempat untuk aku berdoa?” mengulangnya dengan bahasa yang digunakan orang tadi.

“Kuil ya. Kamu tinggal lurus saja dan di sana ada tangga menuju ke atas. Di sanalah tempatnya.”

“Terima kasih banyak,” membungkukkan badannya sedikit, seperti budaya Jepang bada umumnya.

Dengan melihatnya, orang tadi sedikit kebingungan dengan sikap Azrael. Karena memang benar, tempat itu bukanlah Jepang yang biasa Azrael kenal lagi.

Benar sepertinya, ini bukan Jepang. Tetapi akulturasi budayanya hampir mirip. Aku pun tidak merasakan lagi energi beberapa makhluk mistis yang seharusnya ada di sini.

Berjalan lurus ke depan menuju arah kuil. Sepanjang jalan hanya terlihat tenda-tenda untuk orang berdagang. Hal itu membuat Azrael berpikir lagi, ‘Apakah benar ini adalah Jepang yang ia kenal?’

Tak jauh setelah dirinya berjalan, ia melihat beberapa patung dewa yang biasa disembah sudah hancur sebab kerusakan yang disengaja. Tidak hanya itu, dia pun mendengar orang-orang yang terus mengeluh tentang Perang Dunia ke-4.

Perang Dunia ke-4?! Apa yang sebenarnya sudah terjadi dengan bumi?

Karena rasa penasarannya itu, Azrael mencoba untuk mendeteksi seluruh permukaan bumi dengan sihirnya. “Teknik Sihir: Detect.” Pada dasarnya, kekuatan malaikat miliknya sudah diambil oleh Tuhan. Tetapi dia menyimpan sisanya pada 49 pasang sayap yang berubah menjadi hitam itu.

Benar-benar situasi yang sangat buruk — itulah yang dipikirkan Azrael saat melihat kondisi bumi saat ini.

“Permisi paman,” dengan suara imutnya, seorang gadis kecil menepuk-nepuk punggung Azrael. Hawa kehadirannya benar-benar tidak terasa sama sekali.

Sentuhan itu membuat Azrael melepas sihir deteksinya, “Ya? Ada apa ya?”

“Apakah tuan ini seorang malaikat?” tanya seorang gadis dengan pakaian serba tertutup. Mata dan alisnya terlihat berwarna putih. Rambut yang sedikit terlihat pun berwarna putih.

Azrael terkejut saat ada yang mengetahui keberadaannya itu. Seharusnya tidak banyak yang bisa mengetahui identitas malaikat saat sedang di bumi. Kecuali penyihir tinggi juga Legendary Heroes, Alden dan Aghatha.

“K-kau siapa?”

“Ah maaf, perkenalkan diriku Mila.” Membuka penutup wajahnya.

Benar seperti ekspetasi Azrael, semuanya serba putih.

“Manusia?”

Gadis itu tersenyum tipis saat ada yang menanyakan rasnya, “Hihi, apakah aku terlihat seperti bukan manusia?”

Sebenarnya Azrael sedikit curiga dengan gadis itu. Bukan hanya karena penampilannya, namun juga aura yang dipancarkan sangat berbeda dengan yang lain. Dan juga tak terasa energi sihir sama sekali pada dirinya.

“Apakah kamu terkejut melihat diriku yang tidak memiliki sihir? Wajar saja sih, karena pada umumnya setiap manusia memiliki energi sihir meskipun hanya sebesar biji wijen.”

“Jadi ‘apa’ dirimu itu?”

“Kau mengganti pertanyaannya, hihi. Ini semakin lucu saja. Tak kusangka ada malaikat sebodoh ini. Tenang saja, aku ini benar-benar manusia. Hanya saja aku tidak memiliki energi sihir, mirip seperti ayahku.”

“Ayahmu?”

“Ya, ayahku, Rakha. Orang yang berhasil melawan satu dunia ini. Hebat kan?!”

Apa-apaan gadis kecil ini! Dunia ini?! Seorang manusia!? 

“Namun sayang sekali ayahku sedang tidak ada di sini. Omong-omong, paman sedang mencari seseorang?” melanjutkan perkataannya.

“Bagaimana kamu tahu nak?” Mengangkat Mila seperti seorang ayah yang menggendong anaknya.

“Aku bisa melihatnya … warna paman. Seperti seorang anak kecil yang tertinggal oleh ibunya.”

Aura?

“Paman ini malaikat kan? Tunjukkan sayapmu dong.”

“Tidak bisa nak, di sini sedang banyak orang. Mungkin lain kali saja.”

“Eeehhh ….”

Entah bagaimana dan kenapa, Azrael merasa mudah akrab dan dekat dengan Mila. Ada suatu perasaan yang terlupakan oleh memori Azrael tapi tubuhnya tetap mengingat itu.

“Ah iya bagaimana jika kamu membawaku kepada ayahmu saja. Paman ingin berkenalan dengannya.”

“Tidak bisa,” langsung dijawab dengan cepat. “Lokasi ayah tidak diketahui sama sekali, kecuali paman mau membantuku.”

“Baiklah, paman akan bantu sebisa mungkin.”

“Yosh! Ayo kita pergi!”

Mungkin aku tidak perlu buru-buru dengan tujuanku. Akan ku nikmati dulu momen bersama anak ini.

Mereka mulai dengan mengelilingi tempat tadi. Azrael tahu bahwa akan sulit untuk menemui Lucifer, tapi mungkin momen ini bisa ia nikmati dulu. Nostalgia sangat terasa pada perasaan dan pikirannya. Teringat dengan sosok istrinya.

“Paman?” Mila memanggilnya karena melihat Azrael diam bengong memandang langit. Mila mencoba untuk mendekati dan menanyakan sesuatu kepada Azrael, “Paman ini sebenarnya ingin melakukan apa jika sudah bertemu dengan orang itu?”

“Sebenarnya aku ingin menghancurkan konsep kematian pada semesta ini.”

Mila yang mendengarnya sedikit terkejut. Tetapi dia hanya tersenyum dan tertawa tipis untuk menanggapinya, “Haha, paman ini benar-benar malaikat yang bodoh dan lucu.”

“Begitu ya? Haha.”

Karena melihat Azrael yang murung, Mila mencoba untuk menghibur Azrael. Dirinya itu seperti melucu sebagaimana halnya tingkah anak kecil. Karenanya itu, Azrael tersenyum dan tertawa melihat kelakuan Mila.

“Kau ini benar-benar mengingatkanku pada seseorang, haha,” mengusap kepala Mila. “Terima kasih nak. Mungkin mulai sekarang aku akan mencari orang ini sendiri. Nak Mila kembalilah kepada ayahmu itu.” Membelikan sebuah permen kapas untuk Mila.

“Tidak paman, aku akan menemanimu. Lagian aku belum ingin bertemu ayahku.”

Karena terpaksa, Azrael merasa harus membawa Mila dalam perjalanannya. Dia harus tetap mencari Lucifer untuk mewujudkan impiannya. Dengan berpikir dirinya dengan Lucifer adalah sesama mantan malaikat, dia berharap akan dibantu olehnya. Tetapi Azrael belum tahu dengan kondisi semesta saat ini.

Perjalanan panjang sudah ditempuh oleh Azrael dan Mila, melewati pulau Cina. Menurut kabar yang ada, setelah Perang Dunia ke-3, Daratan Cina terpecah-pecah karena ledakan nuklir yang begitu besar hingga membelah benua. Informasi-informasi ini terasa sangat baru bagi Azrael. Bahkan dirinya bingung, ‘Kenapa manusia ingin sekali menghancurkan diri mereka sendiri’.

Dari informasi itu juga, Azrael mengetahui bahwa Malaikat Agung Maut yang baru, Yehudiel, biang keladi dari Perang Dunia ke-4. Entah apa yang sebenarnya terjadi, yang terlihat oleh Azrael hanyalah dunia tanpa Tuhan. Informasi ini sangatlah akurat dan terbukti kebenarannya. Setiap tempat yang dia lewati sudah tidak berbentuk dan jumlah penduduk yang dirasakan pun lebih sedikit dari biasanya.

“Paman Azrael, istirahat dulu. Mila lelah berjalan.”

Mereka memutuskan untuk berhenti dan istirahat sejenak. Sejujurnya daya hidup Azrael hanya tinggal 5 tahun lagi. Tidak banyak energi sihir yang bisa digunakan lagi. Hal itu sudah terasa pada setiap sel-sel tubuhnya, menjerit seperti kesakitan.

Azrael mengeluarkan secarcik surat dan sebuah foto Lucifer. Di surat itu juga terdapat sebuah alamat dan peta yang menunjukkan sebuah tempat.

“Paman Luci!” Mila menunjuk foto itu seolah-olah memanggilnya.

Azrael terkejut saat Mila berteriak, “Kau mengenalnya?”

“Iya! Paman Luci itu yang merawatku dan kakak-kakakku, jika Ayah pergi bekerja.”

“Apa kau tahu di mana dia sekarang?” memegangi bahu Mila.

“Mi-Mila tidak tahu, paman. Paman Luci tidak pernah datang lagi semenjak pergi bekerja bersama ayah.”

“Begitu ya … Kalau begitu kita sementara waktu istirahat dan tidur di sini ya.”

Mila tertidur lelap di atas tumpukan jerami yang sudah disiapkan. Azrael tetap terjaga karena takut akan ada orang yang menyerang dirinya dan Mila. Sambil melihat ke arah langit berbintang, dirinya teringat dengan sebuah momen yang membuat dirinya diasingkan Tuhan dan dipenjarakan.

~***~

Rambut yang berwarna perak terang dan sayap yang begitu gagah menerangi ruangan kerjanya. Kekuatan yang terasa sangat kental dan juga melimpah. Azrael sedang mengerjakan berkas-berkas yang perlu dibuat untuk dilaporkan kepada Agares, sang Tuhan.

Tepat di tengah kesibukannya itu, seorang malaikat bawahannya, malaikat maut, melaporkan sesuatu yang mengganjal pada pekerjaannya. Dia melaporkan bahwa manusia yang menjadi target selanjutnya sudah bisa melihat dirinya. Padahal itu masih berada pada tahap 365 hari sebelum hari kematiannya.

Seperti yang sudah diketahui dan dipercayai banyak orang beriman, setiap manusia dapat melihat malaikat maut tepat saat 40 hari sebelum kematiannya. Itu adalah peringatan dan kesempatan terakhir bagi manusia untuk memperbaiki dirinya. Aturan itu sudah berlaku sejak Adam dan Hawa turun ke bumi.

Namun untuk hal ini, muncul sebuah kasus khusus yang perlu ditangani oleh pimpinan malaikat maut saat itu, salah satu malaikat agung, Azrael. Seorang gadis berumur 24 tahun telah melihat malaikat maut pada 365 hari atau tepat 1 tahun sebelum kematiannya. Kejadian itu sangat langka bahkan bisa saja hanya akan terjadi setiap 10000 tahun sekali.

Dengan menggunakan avatarnya, Azrael turun ke bumi dan menemui gadis itu. “Hai nona, selamat pagi.” Sapaan pagi di sebuah ladang gandum yang begitu luas. Bahkan gesekan antara tanaman gandum yang disebabkan hembusan angin terdengar berirama dan begitu nyaman.

Jas rapi yang dikenakan Azrael seperti seorang bangsawan kelas tinggi nan gayanya yang sopan memberikan sebuah salam hormat. Saat Azrael mengangkat badannya dan memandangi gadis itu. Tubuhnya itu seketika membeku dan padangannya tidak bisa dialihkan ke yang lain. Sebuah kisah malaikat memiliki sebuah rasa kepada manusia untuk pertama kalinya.

Aneisha Clarabel, seorang putri pemilik ladang gandum di Uni Eropa, Jerman. Rambutnya yang berwarna cokelat, diberai tertiup angin menyatu dengan para gandum. Wangi dan hembusannya begitu terasa tenang saat dihirup. Wajahnya yang manis dan ceria membuat orang-orang di sekitarnya begitu senang hingga menular kepada yang lain. Sosok manusia yang hampir menyentuh kata sempurna.

“Iya? Selamat pa—gi?” dengan terkejut melihat seorang pria dengan pakaian sebegitu formalnya datang ke ladangnya. “Maaf, ada keperluan apa ya?” menundukkan kepalanya.

“Aahh, tidak perlu sesopan itu,” — Azrael berpikir adanya perbedaan kasta di sini yang menjadi pembatas antara bangsawan dan petani — “tenang saja, aku hanya ingin berjalan-jalan.”

“Aaa, maafkan saya. Silahkan lanjutkan jalan-jalan Anda.” Terus menerus menundukkan kepalanya.

Kesopanan dan sifat lembut merendah itu terlihat lucu bagi Azrael. Meskipun sudah berumur 24 tahun, kesannya seperti melihat anak kecil berumur 13 tahun yang sedang belajar tata krama.

Aku akan terus memerhatikan dirinya dari kejauhan saja — pikir Azrael.

Berdasarkan pengamatannya, gadis itu tidak memiliki energi sihir yang begitu besar, hanya seukuran manusia biasa. Bukan suatu alasan dirinya bisa melihat malaikat karena sihir. Azrael terus memperhatikannya. Pekerjaan yang ia lakukan sangat tertata dan konsisten. Sikap sopan dan riangnya saat menyapa orang yang melewatinya, benar-benar tidak menggambarkan umurnya.

Apa yang sebenarnya membuat dirinya bisa melihat malaikat ya? — menatap langit sembari tiduran di atas tanah berumput hijau.

“Ah, tuan yang tadi!” suara seorang gadis tepat di belakang Azrael.

“Hmm?” menengok ke arah belakang, melihat Aneisha ada di sana.

Mereka berdua saling bertatapan mata. Pupil berwarna emas milik Aneisha melihat tepat menuju mata Azrael yang berwarna biru laut. “Matamu cantik ya tuan,” Aneisha memberikan pujian kepada Azrael.

Untuk pertama kalinya Azrael memasang wajah malu karena pujian seorang manusia. Dia memalingkan wajahnya, “Oh, begitu ya.”

Dengan tawa kecilnya yang imut, Aneisha bertanya kepada Azrael, “Apakah kamu bukan seorang manusia?”

Tubuh Azrael dengan reflek langsung melihat Aneisha, dia berpikir kenapa Aneisha bisa mengetahuinya. Namun, hal itu langsung terjawab setelah melihat matanya. “Mata Suci Tujuh Penjuru Lautan, ya?”

“Kau mengetahuinya?! Mata ini!” dengan penasarannya sampai sedikit mendorong Azrael. Tatapannya yang menyala itu menatap serius wajah Azrael.

“Y-ya, aku tahu.”

Tanpa disadari posisi Aneisha berada di atas Azrael. Wajah manis Aneisha terlihat jelas di balik bayangan yang menutupi sinar matahari di langit. Rambut cokelatnya itu mengelilingi wajah Azrael, hingga benar-benar yang ada dihadapannya hanya wajah Aneisha.

“A-anu ….”

Sial, martabatku menghilang! — menyadari diri sendiri kalau mengatakan ‘Anu …’ karena terbiasa dengan bahasa Jepang membuat dirinya seperti menjadi manusia biasa.

Aneisha yang terlambat menyadarinya langsung beranjak dari posisi tadi, “Aaa! Maafkan saya!”

“T-tidak apa-apa.” Mereka berdua merapikan pakaiannya yang sedikit acak-acakan. “Kau sangat penasaran dengan mata itu?”

“Iya. Entah bagaimana caranya aku bisa memiliki mata ini. Saat terbangun dari tidur yang ku lihat hanya bagian dunia yang tidak pernah ku lihat.”

“Karena memang itulah arti dari ‘Mata Suci Tujuh Penjuru Lautan’, meminta sang pemiliknya untuk melihat seisi dunia.” Azrael menunjukkan mata yang sama kepada Aneisha. “Mata itu memilihmu karena kau memiliki keinginan yang sama dengannya.”

“Melihat seisi dunia ya … Aku kira itu hanya mimpi.” Keputusasaan terpampang pada raut mukanya.

Hanya karena melihat wajahnya, Azrael mengerti dengan perasaan Aneisha. Perasaan terkekang oleh sesuatu yang merenggut kebebasan miliknya. Dirinya itu hanya tersenyum dan berkata, “Maafkan ketidaksopananku, sebelumnya aku tidak sempat memperkenalkan diriku ya. Aku adalah Azrael, kamu bisa memanggilku Rael. Dan tepat seperti dugaanmu, Aku bukanlah manusia, tetapi seorang malaikat. Lebih tepatnya, malaikat maut.” Dengan pose tangan kanan pada dadanya yang penuh hormat.

“Ma-malaikat maut?”

“Benar sekali, malaikat maut. Untuk satu tahun ke depan ini, aku akan menjagamu hingga ajal yang sudah ditentukan menjemputmu, Aneisha Clarabel.”

~***~

“Pa-man … Paman bangun!” suara yang samar semakin jelas terdengar. “Paman malaikat bangun!”

Secara terkejut, Azrael terbangun dari tidurnya. Di sekelilingnya sudah terdapat banyak orang berpakaian serupa seperti orang kantoran. Mila sudah berada ditangkapan mereka. “Sepuluh orang ya — malaikat?”

Salah satu dari perwakilan mereka mendekati Azrael, “Kami malaikat Dimensi Atas datang untuk menangkapmu lagi. Perintah langsung dari pimpinan untuk menangkap tahanan melarikan diri, Azrael.”

Azrael hanya tersenyum dan mulai berdiri dari posisi duduknya. Mengeluarkan energi sihirnya, “Teknik Sihir: Death Touch.” Tangan kanan Azrael seperti mengeluarkan aura berwarna ungu gelap pekat, serasa tidak ingin menyentuhnya. “Hanya dengan ini, kalian semua bisa ku ratakan.”

“Semuanya bersiap!!!” perwakilan tadi memberikan aba-aba. Untuk sesaat, situasi menjadi hening dan tegang. Keduanya saling mempersiapkan kesiapannya untuk bertarung. “Tangkap dia!”

Semua malaikat tadi langsung menyerbu Azrael secara bersama-sama. Tetapi, “Menyerangku langsung ya? Tidak berguna. Teknik Sihir: Lubang Buaya.” Di saat mereka semua melompat ke arah Azrael, beberapa lubang terbentuk di bawah mereka. Dan lubang itu menarik mereka untuk masuk ke dalamnya.

Setelah mereka semua masuk ke lubang itu, datang seperti penutup yang di bawah permukaannya terdapat ujung pedang yang mampu membunuh malaikat. “Matilah kalian semua,” ucap Azrael.

Mila yang sedang dipegangi—mungkin ditawan oleh seorang malaikat tidak memasang wajah panik sama sekali. Dia hanya terdiam melihat Azrael sembari dipegangi oleh seorang malaikat.

Melihat itu membuat Azrael sedikit kesal terhadap perlakuan malaikat itu kepada Mila. Tanpa disadari, Azrael sudah berada di belakang malaikat itu. “Kau juga … susul lah teman-temanmu.” Azrael mengangkat malaikat itu dengan tangan kanannya. Tubuh malaikat itu langsung mengering dan energinya terserap ke dalam tubuh Azrael.

“Memang seharusnya seperti ini,” ucap Azrael. Matanya itu berubah menjadi hitam meskipun pupilnya tetap berwarna biru.

Kekuatan yang Mila rasakan pada Azrael, “Kekuatan paman terasa sangat sesak.”

Beberapa malaikat yang yang selamat dari lubang buaya tadi menampakkan dirinya dengan tubuh penuh luka tusukan. “Azrael, kau benar-benar pengkhianat Tuhan.” Mereka mulai mengeluarkan sayap-sayap malaikat mereka.

“Aku tetap tidak perlu menggunakan kekuatan untuk mengalahkan kalian,” gertakan Azrael dengan mengeluarkan aura energi sihir yang begitu melimpah. “Kenapa kalian tidak berhenti saja,” dengan senyuman lebar nan sadisnya.

Para malaikat pun bergetaran saat melihatnya. Namun karena itu adalah sebuah perintah, “Karena malaikat sepertimu — Azrael, kau baru saja memulai kehancuran pada dunia ini. Serang dia!” Para malaikat mengeluarkan sebuah lingkaran sihir pada punggung mereka. “Teknik Sihir Cahaya Gabungan: Heavenly Chain.” Dari lingkaran sihir itu muncullah semacam rantai cahaya yang mengikat Azrael.

Heavenly Chain?! Bagaimana para keroco ini bisa memanggil salah satu senjata surgawi — itulah yang ada dalam pikiran Azrael.

“Kami, para malaikat bawahan Yehudiel, mampu memanggil salah satu senjata surgawi jika dilakukan bersama. Nah, sekarang kau ikutlah dengan kami.”

Cih! Aku ka— ucapannya terpotong. Tiba-tiba saja datang seorang pria dengan rambut sepanjang bahu. Dia datang begitu saja tepat di tengah-tengah pertarungan. Sosok misterius itu membuat para malaikat terdiam tak berkutik saat melihatnya. 

“Akhirnya aku menemukanmu, Mila.” Pria itu menggunakan pakaian serba hitam, seperti baru saja melayat. Wajah misteriusnya itu terlihat saat angin mengibaskan poninya, meskipun hanya terlihat sebagian wajahnya saja.

“Ayah!”

Ayah? Jadi begitu ya … dia adalah ayahnya. Dia benar-benar terlihat sangat kuat.

Mila mendekati ayahnya dan meminta untuk menggendongnya. Mereka berdua terlihat sangat cocok seperti ayah dan anak. Hal itu membuat Azrael teringat sesuatu yang sudah dirinya lupakan.

“Kau pasti Azrael ya?” Pria itu mendekatinya dan juga mulai memperkenalkan dirinya, “Aku Rakha, ayah dari gadis ini. Kuucapkan terima kasih karena sudah menjaganya.” Dia juga melepaskan rantai-rantai cahaya yang mengekang Azrael hanya dengan menyentuhnya.

Kuat sekali ….

“Kau … manusia! Bagaimana kau bisa sampai ke sini?!” salah satu dari malaikat itu berteriak kepada Rakha.

“Bagaimana? Oh, ya aku hanya tinggal menerjang mereka semua.” Yang dibicarakan oleh para malaikat itu adalah ribuan pasukan malaikat yang berniat menghadang Azrael jika berhasil melarikan diri lagi.

Para malaikat itu mulai geram dengan perkataan dan sikapnya, “Jangan sombong kau manusia! Teknik Sihir: Angel Feathers.” Mereka menembakkan bulu-bulu dari sayap mereka menuju Rakha. Tetapi dengan mudahnya, Rakha hanya perlu mengangkat satu jarinya untuk melenyapkan bulu-bulu itu.

“Kau berniat memberiku terapi akupuntur ya? Terima kasih, tapi tidak dulu deh. Lebih baik kalian yang di sini membantu malaikat-malaikat lain yang sedang terkapar di sana.” Rakha membukakan celah dimensi untuk mereka semua.

Para malaikat benar-benar sedang terpojok. Mereka terpaksa untuk mundur dan pergi menyelamatkan rekan-rekannya terlebih dulu. “Kami semua akan kembali lagi, Azrael, dan juga kau, Rakha!”

“Ok semuanya sudah selesai. Ayo kita pulang, Mila.”

“Tidak! Mila harus membantu paman ini. Dia sedang mencari seseorang.” Mila menatap serius mata sang Ayah. Tatapan yang membuat Rakha tidak bisa bereaksi apa-apa lagi.

“Baiklah terserah dengan apa yang kau lakukan, tetapi ayah tidak bisa menemani kalian. Karena ada yang harus kuselesaikan dulu.” Menurunkan Mila dari pangkuannya.

“Tidak apa-apa, kami berdua akan mencarinya bersama,” ucap Mila.

Rakha hanya bisa menghelakan nafasnya, “Baiklah tapi hati-hati ya. Kutitipkan lagi anakku padamu ya, Azrael. Kalau begitu aku pamit.” Membukakan celah dimensi untuk pergi ke sebuah tempat.

“Tunggu sebentar!” Azrael meenghentikan Rakha. “Aku ingin bertanya sesuatu kepadamu. Apakah kau tahu di mana Lucifer saat ini? Jika kau mengenal diriku seharusnya kau juga mengenali Lucifer kan?”

Tanpa membalikkan badannya, Rakha menjawab dengan datar, “Dia sedang dalam sebuah misi yang membutuhkan kekuatannya. Lebih baik kau cari saja orang yang sangat ingin kau temui itu, daripada memikirkan mimpimu yang kosong itu.” Rakha langsung pergi memasuki celah dimensi itu dan menghilang begitu saja.

“Mimpi … yang kosong.” Azrael mengulangi perkataan Rakha tadi.

Benar juga, yang kuinginkan itu bertemu dengannya. Bukan embel-embel menghilangkan kematian.

“Paman! Ayo kita lanjutkan perjalanannya.” Mila mengulurkan tangannya.

“Ya, ayo kita pergi.”

~***~

Azrael dan Mila pergi melanjutkan perjalanannya yang tidak tahu ke mana arahnya. Saat ini mereka sedang berada di tengah-tengah pada pasir. Tanah Arab, tempat yang sangat gersang dan sangat sulit menemukan sumber air. Tetapi itu pada zaman dulu. Saat ini, Arab sudah dipenuhi dengan tumpukan salju yang sangat putih. Meskipun matahari terik tetap terasa pada ujung kepala, tumpukan salju ini tidak meleleh sama sekali.

“Ini adalah dampak dari perang dunia ketiga. Pusat dari medan magnet bumi terkadang berpindah-pindah, sehingga membuat kondisi iklim sangat tidak stabil,” penjelasan singkat dari Mila.

Hanya mendengar penjelasan itu, perasaan Azrael menjadi sangat tidak menentu. Ambisi dan keinginannya saling bertabrakan sehingga membuat perasaan Azrael sangat labil. “Dari dulu aku sangat benci untuk mencabut nyawa seseorang, tapi aku juga ingin bertemu kedua cintaku. Namun, dengan kekuatan seperti ini … aku hanya bisa melakukan salah satunya.”

Mila mendekati dan memegangi tangan Azrael, “Takdir akan selalu menuntun kita.”

Kalimat itu membuat Azrael mengingat sesuatu yang sangat lama waktunya. Itu adalah di saat-saat dirinya dan Aneisha mendapatkan kebahagian barunya. “Aku ingat.” Azrael langsung menggendong Mila, mengeluarkan sayap hitamnya dan terbang jauh menuju Jerman. Tempat di mana dia memulai dan mengakhiri semuanya.

Dengan kekuatannya itu, terbang dengan kecepatan Mach pun tidak membuat dirinya mengalami gesekan dengan udara. Dia membuat dinding sihir yang tebal di sekitar tubuhnya. Meskipun maksudnya mengurangi gesekan yang ada, sebenarnya tujuannya itu untuk menahan serangan-serangan udara di atas langit medan perang. Dari atas sana, Azrael melihat tanah-tanah yang seharusnya hijau menjadi hitam tandus tanpa kehidupan.

“Menyedihkan.”

Tak lama dari medan perang itu, mereka berdua akhirnya sampai di negara Jerman. Azrael berusaha mengingat-ingat tempat dirinya dengan Aneisha tinggal bersama. Tanpa menggunakan sihir yang ada, akhirnya sampai pada tempat tujuan.

Tempat itu, sudah sangat berubah. Keanggunan ladang gandum dan juga tawa ceria para penduduk menghilang tak terasa oleh Azrael. Mila pergi meninggalkan Azrael, “Eh, kau mau pergi ke mana?” Tampaknya Mila merasakan sesuatu yang membuatnya penasaran. Azrael hanya bisa mengikuti dan mengejarnya.

Padahal hanya tertinggal sedikit, Azrael kehilangan jejak Mila. Tak disadari, dirinya memasuki hutan yang begitu gelap. Ingatan muncul samar-samar sedikit demi sedikit saat berjalan di dalam hutan itu. “Mila, kau di mana?” Berteriak memanggil Mila yang tidak tahu di mana lokasinya.

Saat berjalan-jalan, dia melihat bayang-bayang ingatan lamanya. Dia bahkan mengingat tempat di mana dirinya memperkenalkan dirinya yang malaikat maut kepada Aneisha. “A-neisha?” Bayangan Aneisha muncul begitu saja di hadapan Azrael. Tetapi bayangan itu hanya tersenyum dan pergi menghilang lagi.

“Hei, kamu pergi ke mana Aneisha?!”

Azrael merasakan ada energi yang tidak wajar pada suatu tempat. Dia juga sesekali melihat bayangan Aneisha pergi ke arah yang sama ke tempat dia ingin pergi. “Tunggu sebentar!” Mila di dalam sebuah gubuk melihat Azrael sedang berlari ke arahnya. “Mi-la?” Terlihat gumpalan energi sihir yang begitu padat di dekat Mila. “Awas Mila!”

Duarr!!! Suara ledakan yang begitu besar, bahkan menggetarkan daratan. Sebuah bentuk ledakan seperti serangan nuklir yang berbentuk jamur menembus langit. Hempasan udaranya bahkan terasa hingga ribuan kilometer jauhnya. Lokasi sekitar dengan radius lima kilometer rata tak bersisa.

Di tengah-tengah pusat ledakan itu terlihat gumpalan bulu-bulu hitam yang sedang menutupi sesuatu di dalamnya. Setelah beberapa menit ledakan itu terjadi, bulu-bulu hitam itu menggugurkan dirinya. Mila yang berada di dalamnya sedang dipeluk oleh Azrael yang ternyata sedang membentangkan sayapnya.

Aku sudah tidak kuat lagi … Energi sihirku hanya akan mampu menahan daya hidupku selama satu hari lagi. — Tubuh Azrael mulai terdisintegrasi.

“Paman … tanganmu ….” Mila terbangun dari tubuhnya dan melihat lengan Azrael seperti tanah liat yang retak.

“Pa-Paman tidak apa-apa, bagaimana denganmu.” Menarik kembali sisa-sisa sayap yang masih menempel pada punggungnya.

“Berkat sayap paman, Mila tidak apa-apa.”

Azrael tersenyum, “Baguslah.”

Terdengar suara teriakan dari atas langit, “Akhirnya aku menemukanmu, AZRAEL!” Seperti sebuah roh yang terbang menghampiri Azrael.

“Azrael! Hancurkan roh itu, jangan biarkan dia memasuki dirimu!” Rakha yang mengejar roh itu berteriak kepada Azrael.

“Sudah terlambat!” Roh itu memasuki tubuh Azrael. Dan membuat Azrael berteriak kesakitan.

Sebuah celah dimensi terbuka di sebelah Mila, “Mila cepat masuk ke dalam sana!”

Sebuah ledakan kedua terjadi yang berasal dari tubuh Azrael. Rakha yang sedang terbang hanya terdiam, membiarkan ledakan itu mengenai dirinya. Bukan berarti dirinya tidak bisa melarikan diri, hanya saja ledakan itu bukan masalah besar baginya.

Ledakan kedua ini tidak sebesar yang pertama. Hanya saja daya kejut yang dihasilkan lebih besar dari yang pertama. Hal ini mungkin disebabkan karena energi yang digunakan berasal dari energi murni malaikat. Efek yang diterima pun hanya berpengaruh kepada orang yang memiliki energi sihir yang besar saja. Tidak berpengaruh untuk Rakha yang tidak memiliki energi sihir.

“Aku tidak bisa menutup daya ledaknya karena akan membuat Azrael dalam bahaya.”

Dia masih belum boleh mati.

Dari balik dalam ledakan itu, terlihat Azrael mengeluarkan sayap putih dan hitam secara bersamaan. Aura asing bercampur aduk dengan milik Azrael. Bentuk tubuhnya pun seperti chimera yang memiliki dua kepala. Dan untuk pertama kalinya, malaikat memiliki tanduk pada dahinya, seperti iblis.

Rakha yang berada di atas langit menggunakan tekniknya untuk menekan Azrael ke tanah. “Teknik Pikiran: Press.” Hanya dengan teriakan Azrael, teknik itu langsung dipentalkan. Kekuatan yang tiba-tiba meningkat itu membuat Rakha sedikit terkejut.

“Aku adalah Yehudiel, sang malaikat agung … aku akan menghapuskan kematian dari semesta ini.”

“Omong kosong.” Rakha tepat berada di belakang Azrael yang sedang dirasuki Yehudiel itu. Menempelkan jari telunjuk pada punggungnya, “Cepat keluar dari tubuhnya atau —”

“Atau apa? Aku tidak takut, karna energi ini hanyalah avatar sementara yang kugunakan. Tubuh asliku masih berada di Dimensi Atas. Lakukan saja yang ingin kau laku—” Sebelum ucapannya selesai, Rakha langsung menembakkan sebuah peluru hitam dari jari telunjuknya tepat pada jantung Azrael.

Peluru hitam, lebih tepatnya sebuah tetesan elemen kegelapan yang mampu menembus dan menelan apa pun yang disentuhnya. Lubang yang dihasilkan pada dada Azrael, membuat dirinya jatuh terkapar pada tanah. “Maaf saja … aku tidak senaif itu untuk berbelas kasih saat membunuh orang,” ucap Rakha.

Mila yang berada di celah dimensi langsung memunculkan dirinya di sebelah Azrael, “Hentikan ayah! Jangan bunuh paman ini!”

“Menyingkir nak, biar ayah musnahkan dirinya bersama dengan iblis yang mengaku sebagai malaikat itu.” Tangan kanan Rakha sudah dipenuhi fluida cair berelemen gelap.

“Biarkan paman ini menyelesaikan urusannya sendiri,” sorot mata serius itu membuat Rakha mengingat sesuatu yang sangat ingin ia lupakan.

“Baiklah, jika ada apa-apa. Ayah akan langsung membunuhnya.” Rakha berjalan mendekati tubuh Azrael dan menempelkan semacam kutukan pada dadanya. “Lakukan yang Mila inginkan, ayah akan menonton saja.”

“Kita tidak perlu melakukan apa pun,” gumam Mila.

~***~

Di dalam alam bawah sadar yang penuh kegelapan. Kesepian, penderitaan, dan rasa sakit akan kehilangan, semua itu terkandung dalam kegelapan alam bawah sadar ini. Batas alam yang tak berujung sama sekali. Hukum dimensi waktu dan ruang tidak berlaku di dalam alam ini.

Azrael dengan penampilan malaikat bersayap hitam berjalan ke depan tanpa tahu arah yang ditujunya. Bukan hanya sayapnya, tetapi rambut, pakaian, mata bahkan aura yang dikeluarkan pun berwarna hitam gelap. Lelah berjalan, Azrael berdiam diri, duduk termenung menghadap ke bawah. Dia melihat pantulan akan penampilan dirinya.

“I-Ini … aku?” Melihat cerminan dirinya yang sangat jauh dari kata ‘malaikat’.

“Ya, itu dirimu,” ucap seorang yang bercahaya sangat terang, tetapi cahayanya tidak dapat memancar keluar karena terhalang kegelapan.

Azrael melihat ke arah orang bercahaya itu, “Siapa kamu?”

“Aku, Yehudiel, hanya seorang malaikat maut biasa.” Yehudiel berjalan mendekati Azrael, “Menjadi malaikat maut itu sangat menyebalkan. Kita harus mencabut banyak nyawa, baik itu orang yang dermawan, kaya raya, miskin, bahkan orang yang kita cintai,” — Yehudiel mencoba untuk memancing emosi Azrael — “dengan menghilangkan konsep kematian kita bisa terbebas dari penderitaan ini. Dan juga … kita bisa bertemu lagi dengan orang yang telah tiada.” Yehudiel mengulurkan tangannya kepada Azrael.

Azrael ingin sekali menggapai tangannya, tetapi sebelum itu terjadi muncul seorang wanita dengan jubah putih, mata biru seperti milik seorang malaikat, pedang suci yang energinya sangat terasa, dan juga energi sihirnya yang terasa seperti milik Aneisha. “Hentikan di sana, Yehudiel.” Wanita itu mengarahkan pedangnya ke arah Yehudiel.

“Tak kusangka kau bisa masuk ke dalam sini.”

“Dasar malaikat bajingan.” Wanita itu langsung menghunuskan pedangnya pada kepala Yehudiel.

“Pedang biasa ini—oh, begitu ya … Pedang Suci Terkutuk, tak kusangka manusia bisa menggunakannya.” Yehudiel merasakan getaran energi yang mampu menghancurkan setiap sel energi sihirnya.

Pedang Suci Terkutuk, pedang legendaris yang biasa digunakan para malaikat namun telah diinfus dengan energi sihir kutukan ke dalamnya. Kekuatan di dalamnya menjadi sangat tidak jelas dan sulit dikendalikan. Pedang ini biasanya digunakan oleh beberapa malaikat agung dan juga petinggi dewan Dimensi Bawah.

“Untuk rencana ini akan ku anggap kalian memenangkannya, tetapi tidak untuk lain waktu. Sampai Jumpa.” Yehudiel pergi dari alam tersebut sebelum seluruh rohnya dilahap oleh pedang tersebut.

“Akhirnya aku tepat waktu, ayah.”

“A-ayah?”

Wanita itu tersenyum manis dan mengikis segala kegelapan, “Hai, ayah.”

Senyuman itu mengembalikan semua ingat Azrael yang sudah menghilang karena terkoyak oleh keinginan balas dendamnya, “Anakku.”

~***~

Teknik Pikiran: Kutukan Selaput Kegelapan—Rakha memberikan kutukan pada dada Azrael. “Lakukan yang Mila inginkan, ayah akan menonton saja.”

Saat Rakha berjalan menjauhi tubuh Azrael, datang seseorang berjubah putih dengan pedang sudah berada posisi untuk menghunus seseorang. Orang itu langsung menusuk kutukan Rakha pada dada Azrael yang sedang terkapar. Saat ujung pedang itu menembus tubuh dan menyentuh tanah, semuanya terasa sangat hening. Hanya Rakha yang sedikit terkejut di sana, sedangkan Mila seperti sudah mengetahui apa yang akan terjadi.

“Sudah saatnya … Ayah!” Mila memanggil ayahnya. Keluarlah roh Yehudiel dari dalam tubuh Azrael, “Ayah hancurkan roh itu!” Dengan mudahnya, Rakha hanya menembakkan peluru hitamnya lagi pada roh itu. Setelah mengenainya, roh Raphael terpecah-pecah menjadi abu dan tertiup angin.

Aku akan kembali lagi dan pastinya dengan wujud juga kekuatan sejatiku,” ucap Yehudiel samar-samar terdengar oleh Rakha.

Pedang yang tertancap pada dada Azrael tiba-tiba menghilang begitu saja. Dan tubuh Azrael sendiri seperti kembali pada wujud malaikatnya dengan sayap putih serta pakaian formal malaikat agung. “Jadi begitu ya, kau adalah anakku.” Datang menghampiri orang berjubah putih itu. “Maafkan aku, karena sudah melupakanmu. Aku terlalu terlena dengan ambisi kosongku.” Membuka poni yang menghalangi wajahnya, “Kau terlihat mirip sekali dengan ibumu.” Memeluknya dengan begitu erat dan memberikan kecupan pada keningnya.

“Rakha,” memanggil dan menghampiri Rakha. “Benar seperti yang kau katakan, ‘dunia tanpa kematian’, hal omong kosong itu akan sulit untuk kami, para malaikat juga roh-roh tinggi, pahami.” Rakha hanya melihat Azrael tanpa memberikan respon apa pun, bahkan sama sekali tidak berkedip. Tetapi Rakha tetap memberikan senyuman dan juga mengulurkan tangannya.

Kematian adalah seni yang kita tuangkan pada kanvas yang bernama kehidupan. Itu adalah hasil terakhir dari kehidupan kita. Semuanya tergantung pada warna yang kita tuang selama hidup. Kematian itu seni manusia yang paling indah.

Untuk sesaat Azrael terdiam melihat tangan Rakha lalu menanggapinya dengan tawa, “Haha, kau lucu sekali. Tapi bukan ide yang buruk.” Azrael menggapai genggaman Rakha. Keduanya hanya saling memberikan senyuman yang menandakan terlahirnya dan juga berpisahnya sepasang teman.

“Hai, nak Mila.”

“Paman.” Mila mendekap Azrael dengan begitu erat, bahkan pakaiannya terlihat semakin kusut. “Warna paman menjadi lebih cerah dan lebih ringan.”

“Seperti itu ya? Syukurlah.” Mengelus-elus kepala Mila, sedangkan anaknya sendiri tidak melihat dirinya sama sekali. “Energi kehidupanku sepertinya tersisa beberapa detik lagi, aku tak bisa berlama lagi di sini.” Sebelum dirinya benar-benar sirna, Rakha mengambil sesuatu dari lengan Azrael. “Kutitipkan harapan terakhirku padamu, Rakha.”

“Terima kasih, semuanya.”

Jaga dirimu baik-baik, anakku. Keinginan dan janjiku sudah terpenuhi.

~***~

“Hei Rael, sisa hidupku tinggal 9 bulan lagi kan? Aku ingin sekali memiliki anak. Tetapi aku tidak ingin meninggalkan suamiku berduaan dengan anakku. Hanya saja, aku bisa saja membiarkan anakku bersama denganmu,” ucap Aneisha di depan api unggun.

“Bukankah kamu ingin mengelilingi dunia dan melihat segala isinya?”

“Maksudku, akan menyenangkan jika memiliki anak sebelum kematianku datang.”

“Tetapi bagaimana dengan nasibnya nanti, dia pasti akan hidup tanpa seorang ibu.”

Aneisha hanya melemparkan tanggung jawab itu kepada Azrael, “Kau pasti bisa menanganinya.”

Tak lama dari perbincangan itu, Azrael memutuskan untuk menerima permintaan Aneisha. Pada dasarnya, malaikat dan manusia tidak dapat berhubungan tubuh. Namun dengan kekuatan tertentu, Azrael mampu membuat Aneisha mengandung seorang anak. Dia menggunakan energi sihir murninya untuk membentuk sebuah janin pada rahim Aneisha.

“Aku berjanji akan membuatmu melihat keturunanmu, sebelum aku mengangkat nyawamu,” ucap Azrael. Tetapi, kalimat itu tidak direspon sama sekali oleh Aneisha.

Azrael menyesal melakukan itu semua. Dia tak sadar bahwa dirinya sudah melihat aura berwarna putih pekat pada tubuh Aneisha. Untuk memastikannya, ia kembali ke Dimensi Atas untuk mengecek sisa umur yang sebenarnya dari seorang Aneisha Clarabel. Dan ternyata ia melihat sebuah manipulasi data yang dibuat secara sengaja oleh seseorang.

Umur dari Aneisha Clarabel hanya tinggal tersisa empat hari lagi dan kandungannya baru saja menginjak umur 6 bulan. Masih ada waktu tiga bulan, agar janin di dalam rahimnya membentuk bayi sempurna. Azrael tidak ingin mengambil nyawanya itu sebelum Aneisha melihat sang buah hatinya terlahir. Ia menggunakan kekuatannya untuk melindungi Aneisha dari para malaikat yang ingin mengambil nyawa Aneisha. Agar tak terlihat oleh Aneisha, setiap pertarungan dilakukan di dalam dimensi buatan miliknya.

Tak terasa, tiga bulan sudah berlalu. Hari di mana Aneisha melaksanakan persalinan, akhirnya tiba. Suara rintihan kesakitan terdengar dari dalam rumah di tengah hutan. Azrael memanggil beberapa rekannya yang paham mengenai persalinan. Butuh banyak usaha agar Aneisha melahirkan anaknya itu. Tangan Azrael digenggam erat oleh Aneisha. Keringat yang dihasilkan Aneisha yang sedang berusaha dan juga Azrael yang khawatir dengan kondisinya terus menetes ke bawah.

Semuanya begitu tegang … hingga suara tangisan bayi terdengar di seluruh isi rumah, bahkan para penghuni hutan pun mendengarnya.

Azrael mencoba untuk menggendong bayi itu, “Kau berhasil Aneisha, bayi mu lahir dengan wajah yang mirip sepertimu —” ucapan dengan nada bahagia itu terhenti setelah melihat kondisi Aneisha.

Napas Aneisha semakin tidak teratur, dia juga tidak dapat melihat apa pun. Semuanya menjadi gelap begitu saja. Bahkan dengan usaha lebih pun, dia tidak bisa menggerakkan tubuhnya.

Tentu saja, Azrael tidak tinggal diam. Dia ingin Aneisha melihat bayinya sebelum ia mencabut nyawanya. Dengan segala bentuk energi sihir ia keluarkan, namun kondisi sakaratul maut Aneisha tak kunjung menghilang.

Aneisha meminta telinga Azrael untuk didekatkan kepada mulutnya. Lalu ia membisikkan sesuatu padanya. Ditengah bisikkan itu, Sabit Surgawi, Heavenly Scythe, sabit yang dimiliki Azrael, terbang begitu saja ke tubuh Aneisha dan menarik rohnya dengan begitu lembut. Tanpa rasa sakit, Aneisha pergi meninggalkan sang buah hati yang baru saja terlahir. Ia meninggalkan senyuman yang begitu tenang terhanyut pada wajahnya.

Tidak ada penyesalan pada kehidupanku”, itulah yang tersirat pada wajah Aneisha.

“Aneisha?” Azrael dengan wajah shoknya menembakkan energi sihirnya ke langit. Karena tembakan itu, ia dibawa oleh beberapa malaikat agung yang turun dari Dimensi Atas. Lengan, kaki, badan, sayap, bahkan lehernya terikat rantai cahaya. 

Aku telah gagal menepati janjiku.

Di sebuah aula yang begitu megah, disaksikan oleh para roh, petinggi alam semesta, dan juga oleh sang Tuhan, Agares. Azrael diadili oleh sang hakim semesta, Adjudicator. Dengan timbangan miliknya, ia memungut suara para roh lainnya mengenai hukuman yang harus diterima oleh Azrael. Dan hasilnya adalah nihil, dengan artian seimbang. Maka dari itu, Adjudicator melemparkan keputusannya langsung kepada sang Tuhan.

“Azrael,” — Agares turun ke bawah, menghampiri Azrael dan memberikan tekanan sihir yang berat — “karena memberontak dari tugas utama malaikat maut, turun ke bumi dengan wujud asli, bahkan menembakkan energi sihir ke Dimensi Atas. Dengan begini, saya, Agares, mewakili dari ketiga roh pencipta, menjatuhkan hukuman penjara selamanya dan juga pencabutan hak beserta kewajibannya sebagai malaikat agung.”

Seisi aula terkejut dengan keputusan Agares, karena pada dasarnya hukuman mati adalah hukuman untuk para pemberontak. Tetapi untuk satu ini, dirinya hanya memberikan hukuman pencabutan kekuatan dan juga hukuman penjara selamanya. Sontak hal itu membuat seisi aula protes dengan keputusannya. Tetapi Agares langsung mengobarkan kekuatannya di sana.

“Siapa pun yang menolak keputusanku, turunlah kemari.” Karena tidak ada yang berani untuk turun, dia menghilangkan kobaran kekuatannya dan mulai pergi meninggalkan ruangan. “Azrael, aku memberikan kamu satu kesempatan terakhir. Jangan sia-siakan dan tunggu saja momentumnya,” bisik Agares kepada Azrael.

Selesailah pengadilan.

Azrael dimasukkan ke dalam penjara Dimensi Atas. Dia terus menerus mengingat janjinya dan tetap terus ingin menepatinya. Dengan rencana melarikan diri, dia akan mengambil roh Aneisha dan mempertemukannya dengan sang anak. Untuk melakukan rencana itu, ia harus menonaktifkan atau menghapus konsep kematian.

Anak? Anak siapa?

Karena beban pikiran yang terlalu berat. Ia mulai melupakan tujuan utamanya dan hanya berfokus dengan menghapuskan kematian. Perubahan yang sangat besar terjadi pada Azrael, hingga saat itu muncul. Ia terbebas dari penjara dan turun ke bumi. Dan seluruh kejadian itu terjadi begitu saja. Ia bertemu dengan sang anak. 

Bisikan Aneisha sebelum dirinya wafat, ternyata teknik untuk menempelkan sisa energi sihirnya kepada Azrael. Energi itu akan aktif jika Azrael bertemu dengan sang anak. Dalam alam bawah sadar Azrael, energi Aneisha bertemu dengan sang anak. Dirinya melihat wajah sang anak dan mengucapkan, “Kau benar Azrael, dia sangat mirip denganku. Dengan begini aku sepenuhnya telah tenang untuk pergi.” Aneisha terbang mendekati, menyentuh wajah, dan mencium Azrael, “Terima kasih telah menepati janjimu.” Mata Suci Tujuh Penjuru Lautan milik Aneisha terlihat begitu dekat oleh Azrael.

“Dan kau juga nak ….”

“Namaku Aloysia Rosafie … ibu,” wanita berjubah putih ini mengepal erat kedua tangannya, menatap wajah ibundanya.

“Maafkan ibu, tidak memberimu nama. Ibu senang bertemu denganmu, keinginan untuk melihatmu sudah tercapai. Pasti hidupmu dipenuhi rintangan ya. Tapi kamu pasti sudah bisa melewati semuanya ya. Jujur saja, ibu ingin sekali hidup bersama dengan kalian semua.” Mengecup kening Aloysia dan langsung menghilang begitu saja.

Ibu sayang kalian berdua,” kalimat terakhir yang menggema dalam pikiran.

“Ayah juga sepertinya akan menyusul ibumu. Energi kehidupan ayah sudah tidak tersisa lagi. Maafkan ayah, untuk semuanya.” Azrael hilang begitu saja ditelan alam bawah sadarnya sendiri.

Selamat tinggal, ayah … ibu.

⎡ Aloysia mendapatkan Mata Suci Tujuh Penjuru Lautan ⎦


Penulis: Garpit

Life Cycle

Entry Writchal #3
Tema: Hidup-Mati


I switch on my bedroom light. 

My vision is filled with a thick fog. I walk across the bedroom while rubbing my eyes. As  my consciousness grows, my vision becomes clearer. I look at the broken mirror in the bathroom.  My face appears on it, but it seems weird. I splash water on my face and rub my eyes again. Now  all I see is the normal me, the sad normal me with my work shirt on. 

Behind me, I can see my wife, Fidelia standing in front of our bed. Her flowing hair blocks  the morning sunlight from the window. Her smile shines brighter than the sun itself. She enters the  bathroom while bringing my tie. Her hand moves my head to look at the mirror, preventing me to  look at the bedroom’s cracked wall. I try to smile as much as I can while looking at her reflection.  She ties my tie and then rests her head on my shoulder. 

She holds my hand. “You look perfect, my love.” 

“I could never be as perfect as you, love. 

I’m not even kidding whenever I said that she’s perfect. She’s born to rich parents and  quickly become a model in her teens. She has a lot of money, yet somehow, she vowed to be my  wife. Every single aspect of her life is perfect, except for me and this run-downed apartment that  I can rent. Why did she even want to stay with me? 

She puts her head up. “You should smile more. Let’s eat breakfast. Don’t be late for your  job.” 

“What’s our breakfast today?” 

“Just a normal jam toast. We don’t have much food left until your next payment.” I turn around and look at her. “It doesn’t matter what we eat as long as you’re here with  me. I’ll work hard for both of us.” 

She smiles. “I know you will. Now, let’s eat.” 

We hold hands while walking out of the bathroom and through the bedroom. Fidelia had  already plate the toast on a small dining table that’s only fit for two people. A lone burner is placed next to it, located next to a cupboard that we use for storing anything. Everything here just feels  so crowded that it’s choking me. 

The toast Fidelia makes is still warm out of the toaster. It smells delicious but it doesn’t  excite me. All that I can think of is my life and the future. If I keep going like this, how am I  supposed to live my life.

The chair creaks as I pull it. I sit on the old chair, opposite of Fidelia. The jam tastes bitter  as I munch on it even though everyone says that it’s supposed to be sweet. Fidelia holds my hand. “Hey, you don’t smile when you eat today’s breakfast. Is there  something wrong with the toast?” 

“The toast is as good as it’s usually is. I’m just sad I’m not able to be as perfect as you. Why do you even want to be a person like me?” 

She grips my hand tight. “You’re already perfect the way you are. I know you work very  hard for the both of us and that’s enough reason for me to stay with you.” 

I look down. “I’m very sorry for our condition now. I’m so sorry for not being able to fulfill  any of your dreams, living in a house with a swimming pool, supply for food, or even a status to  be looked upon.” 

“Look at me.” 

I stay still. I can’t look at her after I have failed her multiple times. She’s perfect and I’m  not. I couldn’t let her live with me. 

She holds my chin and points it to her face. “I say look at me. Those are my past dreams,  dreams before I meet you. With time flowing, I realized that this is the life that I’ve always  wanted,” says her while extending her arm to the whole room. “I realized that the only thing that  I’ve been searching for this entire time is living a happy life with the person I trusted the most.  Nothing can change how I feel about you, no matter how much imperfection we have.” 

“Oh, my love Fidelia. What did I do to deserve a wife like you? You deserve a much better  life and I’ll work hard for that.” 

She smiles even brighter. “Stop being so hard on yourself. Sometimes you need to relax  and concentrate on living on the present. The future is unknown but we can face it together. If only  you could see yourself through my eyes.” 

A ringing starts from inside our bedroom. I instantly look at it. There’s no more time to  waste then. I must go to work now or I’ll be late. 

Fidelia releases my arm. “You should go now. I’ll handle the dishes.” 

The chair creaks as I stand up. I rush to the door and pick my coat from the rack. My hand  busily checks my pocket to make sure I didn’t forget anything. 

“Goodbye, my love. I’ll be patiently waiting here until you come back the evening,” says  her.

“I’ll see you too.” 

I close the door and look out of the apartment. The two-floored apartment I’m standing on  is old. All the paints are cracking and the pipes are rusting. Beyond the floor railing, opens a  parking lot with a single car on it, my work-car. That dusty machine reminds me of my past dreams,  forgotten and uncared for. 

I walk down the stairs, holding to the rusty railings. The farther I get away from my  apartment room, I feel worse about myself. Leaving Fidelia makes me remember the hardships of  my life. The constant cycle of waking up, working, and sleeping every day makes me feel dull. I  don’t feel anything beyond the warmth of Fidelia’s arms. I’m so tired of my life that I almost forget  that I’m still a living being and not a robot. But I shouldn’t think like that. I’m still alive, I must  stay alive for Fidelia’s happiness. 

I enter my car and start driving to the highway. The sun rises higher to the sky. Vehicles  starts to fill the highway, more than it usually is. I start to worry as cars in front of me slows down.  The highway is the quickest way to my workplace. Going to any other route will take much longer  time. This can’t be happening. I’ve always come on time my whole life. I can’t just break that  record. There has to be something that I can do to pass this traffic jam. 

I stomp the accelerator pedal but it was too late. Two cars have closed my path and slowed  down drastically. My fingers busily tapping on the driver wheel while I look at the time on my  car’s dashboard. No, there’s no way I’m getting there on time now. Why can’t I be perfect at  anything? 

Half an hour later I arrived at my workplace, the Microbiology Testing Center. With my  tired hands, I tidy my name tag with the title “Virologist” written on it. A dull grey building stands  behind a huge parking lot with lots of cars. Wall surrounds this place, expanding to the back of the  long building. Not even a single window in sight. I remember inside there, eternal hours of work  under artificial light. Not even a single plant is allowed inside that building. 

I step outside of my car. In front of the double-door, I can see my boss smoking his usual  cigarette. He must be waiting for me. 

I walk to him while looking down. “Good morning, Boss, I’m so sorry that I’m late.” He puffs a cloud of smoke. “I expected better from you. The corporate wants everything to  be perfect since we can’t make a single mistake here.” 

“I’m so sorry for failing you. I won’t do a mistake again.”

“You better be or else the corporate will force me to fire you,” he says while pointing a  finger at me. 

“I understand. I’ll go straight to work.” 

“Good. I’m just going to remind you once again. Make a single mistake and you’ll be fired.  I’ll head back to work or else they will fire me too.” 

Boss stumps his cigarette and goes inside. I walk right behind him. He enters his room,  right in the corner of the long main hallway. Before he closes his door, he nods at me. I head  straight to the lab I work at, passing multiple identical lab with huge glass window in front. When  I arrive, my lab partner, Treone is already inside, preparing the equipment for today’s observation. 

He smiles at me when I enter the lab. I take my lab coat and mask then step inside the air  chamber between the lab and the dressing room. I stare at the lab with no passion. I still remember  the first day I work here. I was really nervous and proud to be assigned in this lab. But working  with the same thing over and over again have eroded me. I no longer feel any passion left in my  work. 

“Good morning. You look as tired as always,” laughs him. “Do you want a coffee?” “No. Just head to work and finish this day.” 

He continues to prepare the equipment. “Work will be more enjoyable if you’re happy  about it. We can joke for a bit you know.” 

“No. This job is very important to me. I can’t just lose it because we joked while we work.  I expect you to be serious about this job too.” 

“I’m sorry then. I thought that since we’ve been lab partner for years, we might want to  know each other better,” he says while putting the last equipment in place. “We can talk another time, but for now we have a job to do. How’s our specimen condition  today?” 

Treone opens the cooler and pulls out a tray of virus specimens that I’ve been working for  years. This is my life work, if this fails, then I’m just a failure. The specimens must succeed.  Treone put the tray on the table while I’m checking the electron microscope. He walks away to  pick up our lab journal. I pick up one of the specimen vials. 

Treone touches my back. “Don’t forget to be careful.” 

I instantly push his hand away. “You almost made me drop the specimen. I’ve been doing  this for years; I know what I’m doing. There will be no more mistake.”

“Okay then. I’ll make sure I won’t bug you. I’ll observe from here.” 

I look away from him and focus on the vial. I open the lid and quickly put the specimen  under the microscope. I look at the computer and observe it’s RNA. There’s no change in this  specimen. Another day of failure. With this sample, I don’t think the other specimen is going to  change too. 

“False again,” I say to Treone. 

“That sucks. But we still have to check every single specimen. There may be a mutation in  one of the other specimens.” 

“I’ve lost hope for years of not finding anything. I’m just doing this observation for  payment. Have you written the observation yet?” 

“Oh yeah. I almost forgot,” he says then quickly write on the journal. 

I look back at the microscope. “I need you to be more serious.” 

I take the vial out of the electron microscope and put the lid back on. My hand moves  quickly, swapping the vial with the new one. I open the lid, observe the specimen, see more failure and close the lid again. I do the same thing over and over until my shift is over. No mutation is  seen today. 

I’ve been trying to find a virus mutation that can replicate DNA strands to produce selected  cells instead of making more virus bodies. With that kind of mutation, it will be a breakthrough in  the medical field. A lot of people can be healed. Another benefit that I can’t ignore is the income. With that breakthrough, I can finally have enough money to buy the house I and Fidelia have been  dreaming of. I can finally be happy. But it doesn’t seem that it’ll happen soon. It’s been years and  all I got is mutations that’s not what I’m searching for. My time is running too quickly. Maybe I  won’t find the mutation until I die. 

Treone touches my back. “Hey, our shift is already over. It’s the evening. We should clean  up now.” 

I keep observing each vial. “You can go home. I’ll stay here.” 

He walks closer. “We can continue tomorrow you know. You haven’t even taken a rest  today.” 

I brush his hand off my back. “Just go. I’ll clean up everything when I’m done.” “Are you sure you don’t need any help?” 

“No. Just go,” I say loudly at him.

“Okay then. Just be careful,” say him while closing the door to the air chamber.  The air chamber blows Treone’s outfit and then he hangs the lab coat and put down the  mask. He waves at me one last time before closing the lab door. I look back at the specimens, my  failures. 

“One of you must mutates. For my family, for the world.” 

I check another specimen, but there’s still no mutation. Why can’t I just get my happy  ending? 

I put back the vial to the rack then I slam the table. I’ve been doing the same thing for  hours, but to no avail. There’re only a few specimens left to check. I have to do check it now. I  can’t rest without knowing what could be inside one of those specimens. 

My shaking hand take a vial and open its lid. I put it inside the electron microscope with  no hope left in me. My eyes widen as I look at the monitor screen. There’s a mutation in it’s RNA. “Please let it be the mutation that I wanted.” 

I put some bacteria samples on a petri dish then I drop a few specimens on the same petri  dish. I put it on the electron microscope and I observe the screen. The virus starts to dig into  bacteria and get near its DNA. Something weird is happening. The virus is not attacking the DNA,  instead it’s copying the DNA substance. This is it. Now to test if it will give the DNA to another  cell. 

I take a cancer cell and put it in another petri dish and mix it with the virus with bacteria’s  DNA. Under the microscope I can observe everything. The virus digs through the cancer cell  membrane and meet with its DNA. But something bad happens. The cancer cell took over the  DNA and the virus die with it. 

I slam the table. “Why is this happening to me? I was so close to my breakthrough but it’s  another failure. Why am I so useless to everyone? What’s even the purpose of me living if I’m  going to fail for my entire life?” 

I quickly put the vials to the rack and put it inside the cooler again. I clean up every  equipment but suddenly my head starts to spin. A headache rushes into my head, slowing down  my movement. I’ve probably worked myself too much, I need to go home now. I quickly finish cleaning up and head out of the lab. On the front door, I see my boss leaning to the wall, smoking  another cigarette. 

“Another rough night shifts?” asks him while puffing a smoke cloud.

“Yeah. Still no progress on my project today.” 

“Don’t you worry. Your life will soon change for the better.” 

“I’ll leave now, boss. If you don’t mind.” 

He puffs another smoke cloud. “Call me Mort.” 

“Okay, Mort. I’ll head back now.” 

He nods. 

I head to my car with a growing headache. It feels like something is growing inside my  head. I try to ignore that pain and drive straight out of the building. The night fog has come again,  covering much of my view. I drive through an empty highway, but still, I have to focus on the  road. Pain surges come as I drive. I try to hold the pain back, but I fail. I lose focus a few times  before I get out of the highway. 

I slap myself on the face. “Focus on the road. I’m almost home.” 

The pain come again, even stronger this time. I hold my head in pain as my other hand try  to grip the steering wheel. Why is my head like this? 

I’m a few meters away from my apartment. A surge of pain strike my head and I lose  control of the steering wheel. I try to hold back the wheel while stomping the brake pedal. I manage  to stop but I hit something hard. I can’t see much beyond the night fog. All I can hear when the  collision happen is a woman screaming. 

I walk out of my car to check while still holding my head. 

“No, oh no” 

I come running to the victim. There lay my beloved wife, Fidelia in a pool of blood next to  the apartment building. 

I hold her head up. “Fidelia, my beloved wife. Talk to me. Please stay awake.” “Hello, my love. I thought I’ve lost you,” she says with her bloody mouth. “What are you doing out here?” I ask as I try to hold back my tears. 

Fidelia rubs her cold hand on my cheek. “I was searching for you. You said you’ll be here  by the evening.” 

I hold her hand tight. “Oh, Fidelia. I’m so sorry for everything. Sorry for not keeping my  promise. Please stay awake for me. I’ll call an ambulance.” 

“It’s too late now for that. I can feel my consciousness slowly losing its grip,” she says  while looking away from me.

I point her face at me. “Please, don’t leave me.” 

“Don’t blame yourself, my love. I will always love you forever.” 

Blood spew out of her mouth and her eyes close on me. I cry out a scream of pain as tears  pour down from my chin. I can’t feel her breath, her veins, nor even hear her heart beating. She’s  gone forever now.  

I scream. “Why am I like this? I can’t even fulfill my promise to my own wife. Why must  I be so useless to this world?” 

This is all my fault. I’m not ready to let her go. I still want to see her. I don’t want her to  go like this. I haven’t fulfilled her dreams. I haven’t been a good person. No matter what I do, I  always fail in the end. I’m tired of always failing over and over and over. There’s no more thing  that held me back from getting off this world. 

I let go of Fidelia’s bloody hands and walk upstairs, to my apartment room. Everything  feels empty. The air is cold, there’s no Fidelia’s warm hug to greet me, there’s no more joy in this  place. I walk to the cabinet, picking up a kitchen knife as I look at a cold dinner prepared for me.  My feet walk on itself to the bedroom that’s still the light still on. My headache strike again and I  accidentally bump the lit stove and an oil bottle fell on it. Fire starts to spread fast, but I was too  dead inside to care. 

I enter my bedroom. The bed sheet is clean and empty. I open up the window next to the  bed and look up at the foggy night sky. I can’t even see the beautiful stars on my death day. I’m  such a failure

My headache keeps growing until I can’t take it anymore. I hold up the knife in pain. The pain surges and I scream out all of my lungs. I can’t handle it anymore. 

“Fidelia, we will meet again.” 

I strike my throat with the knife, ending the endless sound of my scream. Blood gush out  of my throat as I fell to the floor. My vision is slowly fading. I start to lose everything in my  memory. 

The fire keeps burning through the apartment, entering the bedroom. I can vaguely see the  fire climbing up the wall, burning everything in its path. Soon it hits the lightbulb. The fire switch off the bedroom light.


Writer: P. C.

Gray Katie (Writchal Edition)

Entry Writchal #3
Tema: Hidup-Mati


Dark fumes rise to the heavens. The field reeks of burnt metals. Caitlyn hesitantly reopens her eyes; she thought the blast consumed her. She screens her face with an arm as she supports her body with her other arm. The battle vehicle that once stood there with all his pride, the symbol of ArC’s ground dominance, is now left in flames. It has become nothing more than a hunk of aesthetically strewn together metals; its parts are scattered all around, never returning home.

Amidst the barren parts is her android comrade lying just several inches beside her, her face is to the ground. Caitlyn crawls to her position and flips her around. The body remains there motionless. Her eyes are fixed to the reddish gradient of the sky, blanketing the field. She let out a deep breath as she reaches for her face, closing her eyes. Inside, she wishes that her storage memory could be recovered. The universal design doesn’t allow that to instil sentience in the Androids. So, when they fell in battle, their memories, personalities, and anything that makes them a person is gone. The unit, if recoverable, will be salvaged and recycled to give birth to a new one.

Caitlyn then catches a growing rumble. A glance to one side brings her a sight of three squad of Vindicators’ Guards supported by their tank, Gauntlet, advancing to her position. They are most likely catching up with the rest of their lines. But that requires them to march past her.

So, Caitlyn stands up to her feet as soon as possible and begin sprinting away from them.

Decisions have always been a gamble, especially amidst the heat of a battle. She thought she could dive through the flank of that exposed Vindicator’s land-ship and deals some damage. The damage however, is negligible, and that maneuver just cost her the entire platoon. Four tanks lost in exchange for nothing.

And now she has three squads of enemy infantries and a tank on her tail, especially when one of them has spotted her.

The Gauntlet’s machine gun opens fire at her. She raises her arms, shielding her head from tiny shrapnel and dust that kicks off as the cartridges fall just short of her. It appears that the shot is not intended for harm, merely to pin her down. But she doesn’t intend to let herself fell captive to those grunts in crimson-outlined armor.

Caitlyn keeps on running. Her effort eventually brought her to a wooded region. There, a concussive grenade round unfortunately struck a tree trunk beside her, toppling her balance, blurring her sight. Then another one falls and her back hits the ground again.

“Ghh…huh…!” She grunts as she quickly attempting to regain herself.

But a squad of Guards is already on her, weapons trained to her heads. She decelerates her breath and, with a heavy heart, she raises her hands.

As soon as one of the Guards is about to pull her up, the ground behind the Guards burst out dirt as far as about a quarter up the tree trunks. Caitlyn screens her face as the dirt rains on her. As the Guards’ attentions turn elsewhere, they are met by a hail of machine gun fire. The barrage takes three Guards down, before the remainder of the squad scatters away like they have just seen eldritch superstitions.

“You, there!” A rough male voice blaring through her utilizer. “At your eight!”

Caitlyn turns around, surprised to find an ArC tank a hundred meters from her, still in his ghillie coat. She makes haste toward its position with no second thought.

“Thank you.” She says, her breath heavy.

“Thank me later, lady.” A voice from the tank says. “We gotta get out of here first. My crew is dead, and I am left on manual drive as they passed.”

She doesn’t need the voice to say it again. They are both in a precarious situation. And the only way out can be achieved through cooperation. Besides, the ArC can’t afford to provide their nemesis with an intact technology of their own. She has to command the tank.

“I’m going to turn on your autopilot.” She says to the voice.

“Yes, hand over my tracks back.”

Caitlyn turns her glance around her for a second before climbing up the tank and enter through the turret hatch. Two motionless body greets her as she reaches the tank’s interior.

“They’re both humans. A rocket scores a direct hit and the shockwaves took those poor souls.” The voice says.

Caitlyn takes a deep breath and casts aside her sentiment for the moment. For if she doesn’t make it, if the tank doesn’t make it, there would be no one to attend their funeral. She steps over them, reaching for the tank’s control panel. Her fingers run swift on a keyboard, typing a command that grants the tank the ability to steer themselves.

“There we go!” The voice yells, seemingly relieved, as soon as Caitlyn pressed a button on the keyboard. A sudden jerk of movement follows, throwing Caitlyn’s head against the tank’s interior nearest to her. “Sorry, for that.”

“It’s okay.” Caitlyn rubs her head. “Now get us out of here.” She says to the voice.

The engine rumbles louder and the interior begins to vibrates as the tank turns and increases its speed.

“By the way,” The voice speaks again. “Since I’m about to go wild to drive us home, get those safeties off me and man the weapons, got it?”

For a moment she thought she is going to be the one who would provide the orders. Instead it’s the other way around. In terms of survivability however, it doesn’t matter who gives the order. One just has to trust the other party they are cooperating with.

Caitlyn taps on some buttons on a panel beside the keyboard and flicks a lever. “Safeties off and manual weapon system on.”

“Here we go!”

She holds on as the tank accelerates past the redline. Safeties off allows enhanced movement feature such as more speed and sensitive turning. Those features have proven to be advantageous in moments that requires quick armoured response. But they are harmful to the tank’s integrity. Using them continuously in a long duration or within short but frequent timespan with no repairs in between could cause significant breakdowns.

Right now, withdrawing is the top priority. So breaking past the tank’s limit is an essential decision that Caitlyn has to take.  She just hopes that he could last long enough until they return to friendly lines.

Suddenly Caitlyn catches a loud rumble. The tank’s hull is being hailed by a rain of dirt as shown by the screens which is connected to the tank’s optic. It appears something is aiming for them but missed.

“Is that a Gauntlet firing at us from behind?” The voice says.

Caitlyn scrambles to turn the tank’s periscope behind. She takes a closer look to one of the screens. There she indeed finds an enemy tank dashing through the trees, slowly creeping towards them.

“Yes, it is.”

Another shell lands near them, barely hitting the tank’s engine compartment.

“For Primus’ sake, that was close!”

“We have to do something.” Caitlyn says.

“I thought we’re rushing straight back to base.”

“Their next shot is going to land at us. I doubt your integrity is enough to withstand an AP round from that thing.”

“Alright,” The voice sighs. “Pull the smoke triggers and hang on tight.”

Caitlyn presses a button that launches smoke grenades from both sides of the main gun on the front side of the turret. Each fragment in a split second they reached mid-air, creating a white smoke screen that should obscure the visions of their chaser. A second later they emerge on a relatively flat plain. The tank turns hard right, drifting in the process. And as soon as its front hull turned, it slams the reverse gear. With the presence of the smoke screen, that Gauntlet won’t discover that the tank’s turret is aimed at their left when it emerges from the wooded area.

Not long after, the screen extrudes and shifts along a metal vehicle that clears through them.

“Fire!” The voice yells.

Caitlyn pulls the trigger. Another rumble followed up by flames bursting from the target vehicle.

“Got him.” Caitlyn wanted to cheer out, but her composure doesn’t allow her to.

“Nice shot, lady!”

Caitlyn just nods.

The tank turns left and cranks up his speed again. As he does so, a voice comes through the interior speaker as well as Caitlyn’s utilizer.

“51st Tank Platoon, are you the friendly triangle behind the crimson line?”

            Crimson line? Caitlyn freezes for a moment. She wishes that the phrase never has to come through the audio system.

“Command, please specify ‘crimson line’ over.” Inside, she already knows what that supposed to mean. She is just still too petrified on what that implies.

“There’s a whole Guards battalion ahead of your position. And a platoon of Gauntlet just broke off to meet you. Contact ETA 30 seconds.”

Just as she thought. As far as her experience went, fate has never been kind to her.

An enemy tank platoon, at the moment, consists of three Gauntlet battle tanks and various support units. Each has more armour than her own. On normal occasions they can still go toe to toe, holding each other in place while reinforcements swing around and deals with the other for good. Usually it is IFVs equipped with AT rockets, but sometimes squads of infantries with anti-tank missiles could do the job as well.

In this case however, the Gauntlets outnumber hers. In addition to that is the wavering hull integrity of the tank, thanks to the rocket hit. She is sure that one or two shots from the Gauntlet could turn her tank into a ball of flame, even from the front.

“Requesting support over. We can’t hand over this tank to the enemy!” Caitlyn replies frantically through her utilizer.

“The 12th Combined Proxy Company shall break through the battalions and hold a point for three minutes. If you don’t find yourself there when that time runs out, destroy that tank immediately.”

“But sir-”

The transmission cuts.

“Damn it!” Caitlyn slams her thigh.

“It’s just you and me now lady.” The voice comes through again. “I believe in you.”

The tank believes in her. For the first time ever, a tank entrusts his life to her. She doesn’t even believe in herself. Not after the shenanigans that costs her an entire platoon. It’s even a fortune that she is here at the moment. And that’s because that concussive round fell on her just some distance from an abandoned tank.

“Hey lady…” Caitlyn raises her head as the tank addresses her. “Have you ever enabled safeties off before?”

Caitlyn recalls her experience of working with tanks of the same design before. “I don’t think I have.”

“Did you know that my loader would also go wild under that condition?”

“If you meant faster…”

Caitlyn’s words are interrupted by a loud rumble. A shell lands just in front of the tank, barely missing him again.

“Contact! Direction 45.” The voice yells. “Yes, yes. I meant faster.”

Caitlyn sees three crimson triangles on the radar screen advancing toward her. Peering through the periscope, the enemy tanks look just as real and menacing. There’s no more time for her to think. She has to make another decision.

She quickly brings up a screen that shows the terrain in a kilometre radius from her. On one corner she spots a sort of an orchard with dense foliage.

“Take us uphill, toward that vegetations at 330.” Caitlyn says while pulling the smoke triggers twice in a considerate interval. The screens not only obscure vision, but also disrupt radar, concealing the vehicle for a brief moment.

“Got it.” The voice replies. The tank turns toward that direction.

Caitlyn fires another smoke screen just as the tank about to enter the orchard.

“Just so you know that’s my last smoke screen.”

“I’m aware of it.” She nods. “Don’t worry, we’ll make it. I’m putting a waypoint on the screen, take up position there.”

“Heading over.”

“Turn off any lightings you have.”

Darkness is already upon them. The tank is still covered in his ghillie coat. With the help of the foliage, those Gauntlets should have a hard time finding them here.

“All flashy things are off.”

If they indeed decide to scour the orchard. Caitlyn doesn’t wish to stay put while knowing a company is bleeding their way to clear a path for her. That’s just doesn’t seem fair to her. She has to put some effort, to do her part. She has to fight back.

“Now we wait.” Caitlyn says, gently touching one side of the interior to her left. “Then let’s see how fast your loader works under safeties off.”

“Understood.”

Then the radar picks up the three Gauntlets ahead of them heading to their left, seemingly unaware of their position. Caitlyn’s gaze falls at the periscope screen ensuring that the enemy tanks are there.

“Do you see them?”

“I see them.”

Caitlyn trains the main gun at the lead tank. Her attention leers for a brief moment to the amount of AP rounds available. It is enough. She then takes a deep breath.

“Here we go!” She says, pressing the fire button hard.

The main gun of the tank roars again. Followed up by another, shortly. And another. And another. Five shells are fired toward the enemy’s lead tank in quick succession. Two falls short. One got deflected and the other two disables the main gun. The other two turns their turret as soon as the shells hit.

“That was fast.” Caitlyn astonished.

“I told you.” The voice replies. “Anyway, no time for cheers. They’re on to us now. What’s your next plan.”

“Charge them.” She says. “Full speed ahead.”

The cabin is silent for a moment.

“What?”

“I said charge!” Caitlyn raises her tone. “Go, go, go!”

The tank jerks forward before going downhill at an incredible speed. The inclination allows them to reach such pace in a short amount of time. Caitlyn brings herself to a seat and straps the safety belt.

“I don’t like the looks of this.”

“Don’t stop!” Caitlyn yells again. She turns the turret ninety-degrees to the left.

The Gauntlet they’re rushing to perhaps know what they’re up to now. But it is too late for them. As they’re turning their front hull to Caitlyn’s direction…

“Arrgh!” The voice grunts

Two pieces of steel collides under the dim glare of the stars. The head-shattering noise echoes to the corner of the plains; every critter that caught them tremble and scatter in terror. The crash is enough to throw Caitlyn’s head to the interior in front of her again. Even in the presence of the tightly strapped safety belt. Of course, being an Android, she is able to withstand the slight metallic bump on her forehead.

Caitlyn hastily releases the safety belt and scrambles to the weapon system again.

“Hit the reverse gear and turn right!” She says.

The tank reverses and turns to the right, circling behind the Gauntlets’ formation. The one that they crashed into doesn’t show any further movement. Perhaps the crash is sufficient to knock out the crew.

“My head is still ringing from that crash.”

“You don’t have one.”

“If I had one.”

Caitlyn turns the turret toward the immobilized tank and fires straight to the engine compartment on their rear. The 125mm AP round shot through a rifled barrel makes a quick work through the Gauntlet’s rear hull and butchered its engine. As Caitlyn turns the turret to face the last Gauntlet, she notices where its turret is aiming. And on a whim…

Stop! Stop! Now!” She yells, slamming on the cabin’s walls while holding tight on something. And just after they stops, the ground in front of them burst dirt to the air. A shell just landed there, barely hitting them.

“That was too close!”

Caitlyn presses the fire button, launching two consecutive shot toward the Gauntlet’s side, slightly to the rear. The enemy tank then burst into flames.

“Ha! Take that!” The voice cries.

“Go, now! Get us out of here!”

The tank swing around, accelerating past his redline again. Caitlyn takes the chance as the tank passes the enemy lead Gauntlet that got its gun disabled, and fires a shot at their tracks. It hits, and now that Gauntlet is no longer near a threat to them.

“We made it! We made it!” The voice cheers.

Caitlyn gaze falls on the screen that shows three disarmed Gauntlet that grows smaller as they get further. They sit helpless amidst the flat plain, lit by the moonlight. Their crimson outlines are still visible within this distance. She takes a deep breath in the absence of their threat. A brief pause that allows her to cool down. And a relief that she managed to get over them and emerge alive with additional kill counts. Fate isn’t so hard on her after all. For now, she just nods and replies gently.

“We made it.”

But amidst her cheering heart and relieving tension, the voice utters something…

“Uh-” Something that she wanted to hear the least.

“What’s going on?” She asks, pretending that it is not a dire concern. It could be one indeed. But pretending gives her a better edge of remaining calm; an attitude expected of all leaders and commanders.

Just as she finished asking, a bang from the rear hull echoes its way to the cabin and catches her attention.

“What was that?” She asks before taking a glance at one side of the control panel. Something definitely goes off, and that doesn’t appear to be good news since the result is the gradual reduction of the number shown by the speedometer.

“That’s my engine.” The voice says as the tank finally comes to a halt. “That’s an example of what would happen if limits are broken for too long.”

“An example?” Caitlyn shakes at what that implies. “You mean there’s more damage you are sustaining?”

“Loader is actually not in a decent condition now.” The voice says. “Sure you can use it, but there’s a high risk of the shell exploding before it leaves the barrel. That should spell your end.”

            Damn.

“I should be able to repair you.” Caitlyn says. She just came out of an engagement victorious, one where she is outnumbered. She is so close. There has to be friendlies waiting on the other side of the prairie. Once there they only have to drive a bit further through the gap that they made, before finally reaching safety behind their lines.

“I’m afraid…” The voice pauses. “That’s not an option.”

“Why?”

“I’m getting target locks from along direction 300 to 60.” He responds. “We’re surrounded.”

Caitlyn climbs up to the hatch as soon as the voice ends his statement. As soon as she does, she finds crimson pointers trained at her. Some of the glare caught her eyes. The infantries lurking in the darkness begins to creep forward, revealing themselves. She takes a deep breath.

“Well, that was a good fight. We’ve resisted well.”

“It’s good knowing you.” Caitlyn says, raising her hands.

When the tank is about to commit a self-destruct sequence, the Guards that surround them suddenly, and collectively, turn their sight to the skies behind them. Caitlyn hears it too, something is splitting the air, across the sea of darkness above. A second later, it falls on them. Particularly on the Guards, hailing them with missiles and gunfires.

Caitlyn quickly ducks, leaving a small part of her head still exposed so she could see the events unfolding. That thing sweeps above them in a split second. But it’s enough for her to make the form of its silhouette.

The ArC’s attack aircraft, Cosmos.

Its flyby is followed by an artillery barrage that scatters the Guards.

“51st Tank Platoon, this is Captain Fort of the 12th Combined Proxy Company speaking.” A voice comes through her utilizer. “We have utility units advancing to your position and commence extraction shortly. Two Vertices squad will reach you prior to their arrival for support. Over.”

“They’re here! We’re saved!” The tank says to Caitlyn. He then proceeds to reply. “This is the 51st Tank Platoon speaking. Allow me to personally express my gratitude for you Captain Fort.”

“Mine as well.” Caitlyn follows.

“That can be done later when we got you out of there.” Fort replies.

All in all, it is safe for her to assume that she is indeed finally safe. She collapses to a seat in her cabin, her head resting on its headrest.

            At last…

It has been one hectic evening for her. She wishes that fate allows her to have her much needed rest for the day. Especially when she hasn’t calibrated herself in the span of the week thanks to the operation.

“By the way, I haven’t caught your name.” The tank speaks again.

He’s right. For some reason, they managed to survive without knowing each other. Perhaps that owes to how overwhelming the odds are against them. But now that they made it, she guesses that it’s the right time to shake hands.

“It’s Caitlyn.” She says to the voice. “Grauwelle Caitlyn.”

“Grauwelle Caitlyn, eh?” The voice says in a tone that should show him forming a smirk on his face if he ever had one. “What a beautiful name.”

Caitlyn grins and shrugs at that response. “Thank you.” She turns her sight down believing that she could do better than that, if only not due to the exhaustion and adrenaline of breaking through enemy lines to withdraw. “How about you?” She asks the voice in return.

“Mine is Protivotankoviy,” The voice speaks with a sign of confidence. “I suggest you find an alternate name based on that, because I doubt you could spell that amidst the chaos of battle.”

She turns to tank’s ceilings while reaching deep into her processor. It doesn’t take long for her to come up with something.

“PT.” Caitlyn says to Protivotankoviy. “I’ll call you PT.”

“Sounds brilliant to me.” PT replies.

“Good.” Caitlyn nods.

“And how about I call you…” PT speaks again. “KT.”

Caitlyn shrugs. That sounds quite unsettling to her. But to honour the tank that has helped her out of the enemy lines, she’ll just let that one pass.  “Fair trade, I guess.”

“If they allow you to be my commander, that’d be our callsigns okay? Just between us.”

Caitlyn waves two fingers besides her head. “Aye aye.”

She then chuckles. Throughout her career, she never thought that the Automatons could develop a personality like PT. It felt like she was conversing with a human or another Android. It comes as a strange tingling feeling to her core. It warms her that she could learn more about PT. At least, when he came out of manufacture, his first battle, and how he got here. And for some reason, Caitlyn wishes that they assign her to be PT’s commander.

Fortunately, fate would have it her way.

–**–

            The Ground Combat Vehicle Mark V ‘Redeemer’ is ArC’s battle tank that have seen deployment countless of times, dating as far as The Primus’ conquest. Weighing about sixty-nine tons, it sports a 125mm rifled gun with an effective range of 4500 meters, as well as an automatic loader to allow rapid and accurate fire volley. However, it can take less hit compared to the TeV’s counterpart, the Gauntlet. In compensation, it is able to move swiftly from one point to another. The Primus demands a quick death of his enemies in battle, and the tank is that demand manifested. They are most devastating when used in cover or to flank enemy positions. Their high explosive shells can damage any enemy equipment, or straight up destroy most of them.

Caitlyn stares out the window of her hab. Three days flew past without PT. She requested several days off to command to rest herself. Mostly a mental concern. She just saw her own platoon got decimated because of her decision. The faces of her dead comrade often come to meet her when she closes her eyes. It’s hard for her to imagine how it would feel for them to lay dead on the battlefield knowing no one would come to extract them; especially for the human personnel, who have families back home waiting for their return. The command granted her request, considering they also need to do something about the 51st Tank Platoon.

The clock eventually hits lunch break for the day. At least that’s how it should be for the human personnel. Nevertheless, she decides to leave for the mess hall. She marches past a crowd of Proxies filling the hallways. Some groups are having conversation on one side, some hurries past in a fraction of a second; stumbling on almost anyone in the hallways. At one point, one of those men nudge Caitlyn’s shoulder. He glances around to state a brief apology. But Caitlyn only leers at him without any words.

The mess hall is even more crowded; A mix of individual chattering and the clatter of dishes being stacked are the noises that dominates the space. Caitlyn utters no second thought as she walks toward a certain fridge on one side of the mess hall and grabs a battery from columns of them stored there.

She rushes to an empty seating around the corner as soon as she spots it. Once she sits down, she plucks the charging tube from the battery. The hatch on her nape opens, revealing a circular notch sticking out from her neck. Caitlyn plugs one end of the charging tube to that notch, and the other toward the notch on one side of the metallic cylinder the size of her grip. She takes a deep breath as azure sparkles travel along the surface of the charging tube from the battery’s notch to her notch. Her core is filled with relief that she even finds a vacant space amidst this space crowded with a mass of personnel.

Caitlyn takes a glance at the brand on the battery.

Prime Respite.

An odd name, she thought. The company have been supplying rations to the men ever since the late period of the first war. A long-time dedication. She sometimes wonders the story behind their dedication to The Primus, especially their name which is apparently an adaptation of his name. Are they an independent company? Or just another property of The Primus? Either way, she couldn’t deny that a lunch break is always delightful with their battery tin.

“Oh, look!” A girl voice coming from her left. “It’s Caitlyn!”

She turns her attention, finding two girls standing just across her separated by the length of her seating.

“How are you doing, Caitlyn?” The other one says.

Caitlyn sighs. They are her colleagues during her times in the NCO school.

“Good day, Alezia, Lyzmy.” She waves to the two of them before grabbing her battery tin and standing up.

“Wait, you’re leaving?” Lyzmy asks her.

“We just came here. Don’t you want to have a bit of a chit-chat with us? This might be the first time we’ve been together ever since we graduated.” Alezia follows.

There are truths in her words. The burden of tasks on her shoulder have exploded ever since she became an NCO. Her duties now involve administering a unit, which have consumed a huge portion of her times. She even barely has times for herself, let alone to converse with others during leisure. She is indeed, free at the moment. But she just doesn’t feel like it. And it’s not that these two girls worsen her burden at one point before. They went through the NCO school just like how they went through various operations and battles. Trusting and supporting each other have been the norm among them. But now…

“I need to be alone, for a while.” She says to them, sharing a brief glance.

Alezia and Lyzmy don’t even look disappointed; instead worries cloud their faces.

Lyzmy sighs. “Fine, take care Caitlyn.”

Caitlyn nods before marching away from them, putting her battery tin in the pocket of her coat. From the corner of her eyes, she can see them conversing with each other. And amidst the hubbub of the mess hall, she could catch some words coming out of their mouth.

“…when…she become this? How?”

“Shh…let her…”

She pities herself that she has to instil worry on her comrades.

Back at her hab, she finds a maid with a blonde hair of shoulder length with small side-braid to her left temple standing in front of her hab door with her sight to her pad. It doesn’t take long for the maid to notice her arrival.

“First Sergeant Grauwelle Caitlyn,” The maid presents a salute as soon as Caitlyn reaches her. “Maid Corporal Genesis Zenith, reporting.”

Caitlyn takes a second look at her. An Android. She is clad in her combat gear. Her sight is sharp and her figure is firm. Given that she is a maid corporal in the frontlines, tough times which mostly involves firearms should be her best friend. And her face doesn’t show any sense of worry or anxiety that she might die anytime soon. She appears more than willing to spill Vindicators’ blood at any times without any doubt.

“How do you know it’s me?” Caitlyn asks.

“I am well informed that this hab here is yours.” Genesis replies.

“How long have you been standing there?”

“Not much,” The maid replies. “Only fifteen minutes. Or less, probably.” She checks the time shown by her utilizer strapped to her left wrist.

Caitlyn sighs. “Very well.” She says gently. “State your business, maid corporal.”

“The command has a new order for you. And I am here to take charge in supporting you.” Genesis says, handing the pad to Caitlyn.

Caitlyn grabs the pad and read the document it currently views. Apparently, reports came to them that some TeVs are spotted moving towards a settlement recently captured by the ArC. A counter-attack perhaps. And she is ordered to provide armoured support for the current garrison of that position, holding them off and buying time whilst command is assembling a unit to consolidate it.

“How about my reinforcement?”

“Command is still taking care of that matter.” Genesis says. “For now, they expect you to make do with what you currently have.”

Caitlyn takes a deep breath.

“And in accordance with that, I shall be the second personnel in your tank.”

“And the Creeper?”

“My colleague is going to operate that utility truck.”

“I assume you are capable to operate the tank.”

“I have been trained in that field, and have gone through plenty of drills.” Genesis nods. “You only need to provide me with directions, ma’am.”

“Very well.” Caitlyn hands over the pad back to Genesis before entering her hab. She unpacks her combat gear, pausing for a second to gaze on her helmet as soon as she pulls it out of her container in the hab. It is the same helmet that has accompanied her throughout her carreer as a tank crew ever since she is a Recruit. It is still there with all of its glories; a witness to all the hard-times Caitlyn have went through. Especially the annihilation of her previous platoon.

Once she has her combat gear strapped, Caitlyn emerges out from her hab and locks it.

“Let’s move.” She says to Genesis.

Genesis nods, maintaining her sharp sight. She locks the metal cap on her head as soon as Caitlyn begins to march away from her hab.

It is time. Duty calls her again. Her break time is over. She once again has to smell death amidst the roaring 125mm guns. But it is so that there can still be foods on the dinner table for those children. At least, with the presence of PT, the smell of death possesses a different flavour.

The garage has always been crowded during operational hours. It is a large space able to hold up to thirteen Redeemers, a number worthy of a tank battalion. Utility-class Proxies and Maid Sections are those often found scurrying inside and within the vicinity of the place. They conduct repairs, inspection, and other labour to ensure the proper function of the combat vehicles in the field.

A laser welder hisses as Caitlyn marches toward her new tank platoon. There she sees a Redeemer, a Creeper, and another maid scrutinizing the Redeemer, probably inspecting him.

“KT!” The tank greets her first as soon as she is nearing him.

“Good day, PT.”

“Come get to know this maid, she has been decent to me.”

Caitlyn raises an eyebrow. “Define decent.”

“You know, good old talks during inspection. Kept me delighted throughout what should be a boring procedure.”

“So you call him PT, huh?” Genesis asks.

“For convenience.” Caitlyn replies, waving her hand at her.

“It appears that your tank has an extraordinary interest in talking with others.” The maid on the tank says. She has a long hair with pale golden hue that is barely reaching her waist. Her two locks that extends to her chest on both sides are tucked into black rings with a chipped side. She is also clad in her combat gear. Her metal cap is already locked on her head.

She jumps down from PT’s hull and presents a salute as soon as she puts her pad aside. “Maid Lance Corporal Charlotte Cavatica, at your service.”

Caitlyn salutes in return. “How is PT doing, Maid Lance Corporal?”

“Last inspection is yesterday. Result is the same. Everything is in check, ready for action.”

“Excellent.” Caitlyn nods. “Everyone assumes your position and let’s head to that distressed grid.” She says to Genesis and Charlotte.

“Yes ma’am.” The two maid replies in unison.

Genesis rushes toward the crew’s cabin inside PT through the driver’s hatch while Charlotte hops swiftly to the Creeper’s driver seat.

“By the way,” Caitlyn speaks through the utilizer as she follows through the turret’s hatch, addressing both maids. “Allow me to call you by name. You can just call me Caitlyn in turn.”

“Understood, Caitlyn. Charlotte should be fine.” Charlotte replies through her utilizer.

“Call me Genesis then, yes?” Genesis says to her directly as she enters the crew’s cabin.

“Can do.” She then proceeds to run her fingers on the control panel. “PT man the gun for now, and keep on watch.”

“Sensor on maximum awareness. Looking out for hostiles.” The tank exclaims.

Genesis pulls a lever. The engine roars. The cabin vibrates though it is barely noticeable.

“Oh, and…” Something suddenly struck Caitlyn’s processor, something that she missed. “I haven’t caught the Creeper’s name.”

“Khorosho Priyom.” The utility truck replies through her utilizer. Her rough voice is of a female in her adolescence. “Thought for a moment there you’re going to forget me.” She says, her humming engine also comes through Caitlyn’s utilizer.

“It’d be a sleepless calibration for me should that happen.” Caitlyn replies.

“I told you, she won’t forget.” Charlotte voice is heard through the channel.

“Garage Control, this is the 51st Tank Platoon currently comprising of a Redeemer and a Creeper requesting clearance for departure, over.” Caitlyn speaks through her utilizer via a channel that can be heard by everyone in the platoon.

“51st Tank Platoon this is Garage Control,” A male voice gently replies to her. “Command wanted you in K8-2-8 to assess the incoming TeV incursion. You’re clear to head there, over.”

“Appreciate that.” Caitlyn says.

Genesis hits the gear and turns to align PT with the garage’s main pathway. The Creeper follows close. The large garage door shifts to the sides. Every personnel on the garage’s main pathway swiftly moves aside and make way for the departing 51st Tank Platoon.

“Here we go.” Genesis accelerates PT to maximum speed.

Caitlyn climbs up to the turret hatch. The light of day falls on them as PT emerges out of the garage. She puts a hand on top of her helmet as the breeze streams against her face. To PT’s flanks are sporadic mass of Proxies and Maids. On one side are the Maids hauling crates into carrier trucks, the Runners. On the other are Direct-class Proxies filling armoured personnel carriers, the Crescents. Caitlyn catches a platoon of them departing the base, perhaps reinforcing another position along the front.

Then a squadron of Cosmos streaks through the skies above her. She watches them disappears in the distance. It must be exciting to see all your enemies from above. The way they move and maneuver in the field. Satellite tracking could only do so much. Sometimes they don’t update hostile presence on the map until after contact is made. Hence ground forces still have to rely on their senses.

“Hey Genesis,” Charlotte voice comes through her utilizer. “Don’t you think you’re driving too fast?”

Caitlyn glances behind her, at the utility truck. She is indeed, getting further and further.

“You’re at top speed already?” Genesis replies.

“You do realize that KP is way heavier than that tank, right?”

“Let us regroup at a point before advancing to the desired position.” Caitlyn opens up her utilizer and marks a point at the map. “There, I’ve marked it for you.”

“As you say, Caitlyn.” Charlotte responds.

“The path that’ll take us there should be secured. There has to be no Vindicators around.”

“Guess I’ll see you there then, Charlotte.” Genesis chuckles.

“Fine.” Charlotte sighs. “But you owe me battery tins if I don’t find you there.”

Genesis continues speeding up as Caitlyn turns her gaze to the front again.

Suddenly a notification on her utilizer. She brings it up and her breath is caught when she finds out that it’s PT.

“Good to have you back, by the way. I suppose you’re feeling well now?”

Caitlyn types her reply. “Why are you sending me text messages?”

“This is personal, ok? I don’t want that maid to eavesdrop on our conversation.”

A tank wanted a personal conversation with her? It sounds weird at first glance. But that peculiarity is sending a warm tingling to her core. One that drives a smile on her face. She decides that she would go his way. He has saved her anyway, and he has yet to receive anything in return from her.

“Fine.” She replies. “What is up in your mind?”

“Still the same question.”

Caitlyn shrugs. “I hope so. Enough to do this one task I suppose.”

“At one point, I was worried that you won’t be able to lead anymore.”

“I need a break, PT. It’s not every day you’re responsible for the death of an entire platoon.”

“Don’t think about it too much okay? The dice just doesn’t favour you at that time, and there’s nothing you can do about it. At least you got me out of there alive.”

“I think you’re right.”

Caitlyn can see the sign. PT is quite a talkative Automaton. He just lost his crew, and his other Redeemer partners as well. It must have broken him, the way the destruction of her platoon broken her as well. She shouldn’t have locked herself in her hab.

“I’m sorry for leaving you alone.”

Silence.

She crosses her arms on top of PT’s turret hull before hiding her face there. She shouldn’t have said that. Her action has left him worried. It is indeed the right thing to say. But maybe it’s not the right time to say that. Caitlyn slaps the turret hull with her left hand repeatedly. PT must feel weird reading that statement, as much as she is cringing for sending it. She wishes that she didn’t write that. She wishes that she could be more patient in sending that message.

But to her surprise…

“Hey, it’s not like I’m your priority.” PT replies. “As long as you’re fine, I can take more hits to my rear than an average Redeemer could.”

His words brought a smile to her face. Maybe he felt that clapping on his turret.

“Thank you.”

“My pleasure.”

They continue their advance as soon as they regroup with Charlotte. A small settlement lies ahead of them. The buildings are hollow and worn down, most likely a product of artilleries and air-strikes. Caitlyn sees some Runners arrayed diagonally along a sidewalk, their front is facing an aisle too small for them to drive through. The Maids are unloading the Runners of their crates. It must be the first wave of supplies that just made it to the place. They drift off the sidewalk once they’re empty, turning to the direction from which they arrived and hit their top speed.

Caitlyn turns to her utilizer and speaks through the local channel.

“This is the 51st Tank Platoon, notifying of arrival. Command has yet to reinforce us, so you only have one Redeemer at hand, over.”

“Good to see you again, first sergeant.” A familiar voice replies. “This is Captain Fort of the 12th Combined Proxy Company. I’m the one commanding the defence of this position. Supporting us is the 94th Foot Proxy Company, and they have Amplifier Proxies entrenched in critical choke points to suppress enemy advance, over.”

“They told me to support your defence. Do you have any specifics?”

“We will hold you in reserve for now. Depending on the situation, you might not need to fire that big gun of yours.”

“Well isn’t that convenient?” PT’s words come through the utilizer.

“We’ll see how kind fate is to you today.” Fort replies.

“Understood.” Caitlyn says. She then switches to her platoon’s channel. “Genesis, Charlotte, we’re going to stand by at the settlement’s centre, over.”

“Command received.” Genesis says.

“Heading there.” Charlotte responds.

“By the way first sergeant,” Caitlyn receives Fort’s words again. To her surprise, he speaks through the whisper channel. “Maid Corporal Genesis Zenith is with you right?”

“Yes, she is with me.”

“Good.” He responds. “Report immediately if you see something strange happening to her, over.”

What?

Caitlyn sets her sight ahead of her. That part of the captain’s words caught her attention. What could he possibly mean by something strange?

But before her processor wander around that topic, her sentiment of obedience caught up. She has to reply to the captain’s words first.

“Yes, sir.”

Not long after, KP pulls up to PT’s left, stopping slightly behind. That is when Genesis emerges out of the second turret hatch just beside Caitlyn. She stretches her arms high overhead, making it looks like she wanted to detach them from her.

“Aah…” She breathes out a piece of air.

Caitlyn puts her head on her left hand as her gaze falls upon Genesis, her left elbow is standing on the turret’s hull. She wonders whether that counts as something strange that happens to her.

It doesn’t take long for Genesis to notice. She turns her glance toward Caitlyn.

“What’s the matter?” She asks.

“Captain Fort asks me to report any strange occurrences centred around you.”

Genesis’ wide-eyed gaze falls on Caitlyn for a moment. She chuckles a few seconds later.

“Eh, it’s just the captain,” Genesis waves her right hand before her face as she tilts away from Caitlyn. “He is always worried about me.”

Her bubbling joy left Caitlyn pouting with a slightly frowned face.

What a naïve girl.

It’s a wonder for one to have someone in higher places constantly concerned about them. They should cherish such blessing since it leads to their higher chance of survival. The command doesn’t really care if she is lost and unrecoverable in battle. The events three days ago show just that. It is only when they see a Redeemer cruising through the field that they begun their contact. Because, obviously, it is an expensive equipment that the command hardly could afford to lose. She however, is not. She is just one amongst millions other Androids that the ArC could arm for the war.

Caitlyn is quick to brush that expression away as soon as she feels like replying.

“You’re such a fortunate one, aren’t you?”

“Not really.” Genesis shrugs. “You are aware that the Maids are sometimes sent into combat, right?”

“Sometimes, yeah.”

“If there is a list of descending priorities of Maids that will see combat, I’d be at the bottom-most one.” Genesis crosses her arms. “Not fair as far as I deem. Charlotte got to be one of the highest on the list.”

Caitlyn smirks at that implication.

“Ah, because you’re the captain’s crown jewel, eh?”

Genesis puts her arms on her waist and bends toward Caitlyn. “I don’t have any relations with Captain Fort, alright.” She then leers away for some reason. “Although to me he is indeed, quite.”

“It is fair, I think.” A calm voice coming from their left. The two glances down and finds Charlotte leaning against PT’s side armour. “As a commanding officer, would you like it if you see one of your men charging the enemy formations by themselves despite the clear order of retreat or withdrawal?”

Throughout her job as a platoon leader, Caitlyn have seen at least one Redeemer that break formation so they could charge the seemingly vulnerable enemy flank. It is the tank commander’s will. He was hungry for personal glory. And his rash action has costed the entire platoon. These kinds of people are indeed a burden, and it always annoys her when it happens.

Caitlyn now turns a curious gaze toward Genesis; one of her eyebrows is lifted. She wonders, whether Genesis is that kind of person.

Genesis returns Caitlyn’s gaze with an apparent, although slightly, worried expression. “Charlotte, come on.” She says, turning to Charlotte.

“Maybe, like me, you could top that list if you spent more time in the sniping range, sweetie.” Charlotte turns to Genesis with her left eye shut and a wide smile to her face.

Genesis sighs while sinking into the hatch. She crosses her arms on the turret’s hull and places her chin there.

“My anxiety always gets me whenever we wait for them to come. So, I thought it would be better to just get it over with.” She pouts.

It appears that murky skies just gloomed over her. Caitlyn understood that feeling. Who is not terrified knowing death is on the other side, slowly marching toward their position? Losing a life means ceasing everything you’ve worked for so far. The longer it takes for that certain death to arrive, the more space available for one’s mind to peer through time, remembering both their past achievement and those that are about to come. And the more reminiscent one becomes, the more willing one is to hold on to their lives. And hence their reluctance to engage the enemy.

It is perhaps this that Genesis despises.

Caitlyn pats her shoulder in an attempt to cheer her up.

“It’s fine, Genesis.” Caitlyn says to her. “We’ve all been through that. It is unpleasant indeed. But this is war, everything is unpleasant. Hence we at least have to think of a course of action that could make it a bit more pleasant on our side.”

Genesis rises back. Her sight gradually turns to Caitlyn. “I guess you’re right.”

“And since you’re my driver,” Caitlyn continues. “I trust you to get me and PT out of this alive, okay?” She raises her right hand; the tip of its index is touching the tip of its thumb.

Genesis straightens her stature and replies with a similar gesture. “I’ll see to it.” She returns Caitlyn’s smile.

“Good.” Caitlyn pats her back.

“You know you could just force me on the wheel and get us out of any pickle, right?” PT voices comes through.

Caitlyn slams her hand hard to the turret’s hull, maintaining her grin toward Genesis.

“You know that doesn’t hurt right?”

Caitlyn tilts her head to the right. “Please forgive the tank.” She says.

Genesis shrugs, turning her sights forward. “No problem.”

“Incoming!” A yelling that comes through Caitlyn’s utilizer.

A ball of flames burst on the roof of a barren house some distance ahead of Caitlyn, followed by a loud explosion noise. Black smokes spew outward, trailing above in accordance to the wind. Charlotte nimbly rushes back to KP, while Caitlyn and Genesis submerge and closes the turret hatch above them.

“There they are.” Genesis says as she scrambles back to the driver seat.

The rumbling continues, some are stronger than the others. The cabin trembles slightly as the shells keep on pounding the ground in proximity to their position. Then huge tremors with deafening roar, that of a bellowing beast, permeates inside PT. Caitlyn and Genesis hold on to something to keep themselves stable as instances of shockwave burst through them.

“We are being shelled, you two are okay there right?” PT asks.

“We’re fine, PT.” Caitlyn replies.

“I hope those Maids got to shelter in time.” Genesis says.

“I’m safe inside here, right?” Charlotte’s voice comes through the utilizer.

“My armour is thicker than that metallic lump with firing mechanism there.” KP says.

“Hey!” PT responds in a raised tone, his rough voice blares through all their utilizers. “Who do you call metallic lump, huh!?”

“It can be anyone. Too bad I don’t have fingers to point that out for you.” There’s a slight chuckle in KP’s tone. One can picture a smug forming on her face if she has any.

“Well I wish you’re not responsible for babysitting me, dirty hag.”

Caitlyn chuckles at what that implies. PT can land a shell or two on that utility truck’s hull. That is, when the command is not looking.

“Smoke screen to the east.” Says a Proxy.

“Another one to north-northeast.”

“And to the southeast.”

Caitlyn checks out the map shown by one of PT’s screens. Judging by the smoke deployment, the TeV is commencing an assault along the settlement’s frontiers. This position must have been essential to them. Hence the defence must hold at all cost. She hopes that more reinforcement is coming to consolidate their position there.

“Platoons of Guards are advancing through the smoke, supported by Carapaces.” Says another voice which is drenched deep in commotions of rapid rifle fire, cartridges ricochets, and 20mm shell impacts.

Carapaces are TeV’s walking metallic shell. Creeping on six legs, they are armed with two 7.62mm machine guns and a double-barrelled 20mm autocannon to provide dense fire support able to tear through fortifications. Their thick armour meant that they can survive even more hits than the Gauntlets.

“There are eight of them coming from this side.”

“An additional four is spotted emerging from the north-northeast.”

Fort’s voice then comes through, “Twelve Carapaces, copy. Direct Proxies, unload your RPGs on those things. Maids get two crates of those rockets to the outposts along defence line beta.”

From PT’s periscope, Caitlyn sees the Maids sprung into action, loading the available Runners with crates supposedly filled with anti-tank rockets. The work is done in such a pace that left Caitlyn’s eyes wide. In fifteen seconds, the Runners, two of them filled with AT rockets crates, have already left the scene.

“You Maids are an impressive breed.” Caitlyn turns to Genesis.

Genesis shrugs. “I mean, our master zips from one side of the battlefield to the other in mere minutes if not seconds.”

“Sir Microv Edward?”

Genesis nods, her hands are tapping on the steering wheel.

Caitlyn heard a story of that man, the second highest authorities in the ArC, one of the few that possess superhuman abilities.

“It’s a basic drill for us frontline Maids. They even gave us enhancement modules to speed up the job by ten folds. But of course, the speed never matches that of our master. He is on a different level.” Genesis continues.

It is said that he personally supports the defence of five chokepoints at the same time during the Siege of Vaniyya in The Primus’ conquest. And whichever point he is in, the Vindicators’ advance there is halted. Such is the power of The Primus’ right-hand-man. She couldn’t imagine what The Primus himself is capable of.

“We owe a great deal to you then.” Caitlyn grins as she crosses her arms.

“Sort of.” Genesis replies, turning her attention to Caitlyn. “But our master has ensured that you don’t.”

But still, such a great feat is worthy of something in return to them from the Proxies themselves. At least, that is how it should be as Caitlyn thought. Because logistics are the backbone of every military force.

“Our recognition should suffice, I guess?” She says.

“But of course,” Genesis turns her gaze ahead, leering at Caitlyn with her left eye shut. “Who wouldn’t notice cute girls in maid uniform running around the battlefield armed with carbines and an emitter katana?”

Caitlyn chuckles. “You are indeed a sight, huh.”

“We have Gauntlets making a run for our position.” A calm voice in contrast with the roaring RPGs in the background, followed by even more bullet ricochet.

“Copy,” Fort replies. “First Sergeant Caitlyn, I believe your tank demands something to shoot at. Go around them from the hills to the north and give them a pounding.”

“I do think demand is an overstatement.” PT replies first.

Caitlyn nods to Genesis the second Captain Fort provides the direction. She turns PT around and drive the tank along the path leading to the hills that he mentioned.

“We’re heading there, sir.” Caitlyn responds.

“Be careful you three.” Charlotte says through the platoon channel as the tank dashes out of the settlement.

They eventually reach the hill. It is an elevated position with a rather lightly wooded area. They could assume a position where PT’s gun just peeks out of the hill toward the two Gauntlets to the settlement’s north-northeast. If they return fire, their shot would unlikely hit them since they have to fire uphill. Even still, PT can survive some hits from the front. And if situation gets critical, Genesis could just hit the reverse gear and bail out of the position.

“Take us there, Genesis.” Caitlyn says, marking a position on the map that’s visible to both of them. “We should be able to fire down on them from there.”

“Taking us there.” Genesis replies.

But as soon as they climbed the hill…

“Ow!” PT cries.

Along with that is the shaking of the cabin in the wake of a missile crashing to PT’s front hull. Unlike the Androids, the Automatons don’t have pain receptors. The way PT responds in such a manner when hit in the face by a missile is probably him being shocked at the sudden reduction of his hull’s integrity.

The cabin shakes again as two more rockets hits PT’s front hull.

“We have contacts!” Genesis yells.

In front of them are two squads of Guards supported by a Carapace armed with anti-tank missile launcher instead of the autocannon. PT fires a shot at the Carapace but that just bounces off its front armour.

“No penetration!? You can’t be serious.” PT exclaims.

Caitlyn pulls the smoke triggers. “Back up! Back up!” She says.

Genesis hits the reverse gear and PT gradually rolls down the hill.

“We can’t support them like this.” Genesis says, glancing at Caitlyn.

“Well we can’t go there without any support either.” PT replies. “Unless of course, you fancy going out in a blaze of glory.”

Caitlyn falls silent. Available forces are all tied down in the defence of the settlement. There’s no way she would ask for reinforcement from the captain. Even if she does, her request would most likely be denied. But she has to take care of those Gauntlets, to alleviate the defences and save as much men as possible. She could send a request for air support, but that is too expensive for such a small detachment facing them.

There is one option left for her.

“Genesis,” Caitlyn turns to her. “I’ll leave those Guards to you.”

“What?” Genesis asks, her eyes meet Caitlyn’s.

“Charlotte claimed that you prefer to charge the enemy. Thus, I assume that you are a capable fighter.”

“Well, sort of.” Genesis tilts her head.

“Then get out there, and take care of them.” Caitlyn says while running her fingers on the control panel, turning the autopilot on. “PT will take the wheel. We will handle that Carapace.”

Genesis nods. “Very well.” She grabs her carbine that is leaning against the left side of the cabin, and loads a magazine. Then she opens the hatch above her and jumps out of the tank.

“We’re counting on you, Genesis.”

Genesis only raises her right thumb as she advances into the smoke screen. As soon as she vanishes into the smoke, Caitlyn hears a barrage of gunshot from beyond.

“Let’s hope she’ll make it.”

“That maid looks tough. She’ll be alright.”

Caitlyn nods as she assumes control of PT’s gun. “Take us a few more meters north, we shall make our return to the hill there.”

The Carapace, seeing that its big target gone, should now be unoccupied. Which means, there is no guarantee that it won’t lay fire on Genesis. She is not only facing hostile fire from the ten Guards, but also the Carapace’s machine guns. Caitlyn grips her fists at that scenario which most probably is occurring at the moment.

Hang in there, Genesis…

They make their climb again on the other side of the hill as soon as they circumvent a small part of it. Caitlyn’s breath caught when they come across a sight of five Guards running to the right, against the direction of their previous climb, followed by the Carapace that slowly creeps backward; its machine guns firing at the smoke screen that’s about to clear up. Caitlyn takes a quick glance to what the walker is firing at. There she finds Genesis cowering behind a tree trunk solid enough to brave the machine gun fire; bracing herself with her head tucked. After a closer look, Caitlyn finds that with her is the TeV’s anti-tank missile launcher.

Unfortunately, her back is against the side where Caitlyn is. So perhaps she is unaware that they have returned to the fray.     When Caitlyn is about to notify her, she emerges out of cover and fires a missile at the Carapace. It hits the walker’s missile launcher, but the damage appears to be negligible. And as soon as she is about to return to cover, three of the machine guns’ cartridges make it through her.

The maid collapses.

“Genesis!” Caitlyn cries through her utilizer.

“You bastard!” PT yells out. “KT, hit that trigger!”

Caitlyn turns and sees that PT has his turret aimed at the walker’s missile turret. Without any doubt, she slams on the trigger.

PT’s gun roars as soon as the Carapace align its front to PT’s direction. The 125mm armour-piercing shell slips inside the Carapace’s launcher barrel, and further into the high-explosive missile loaded inside.

Within a split second of contact, the walking metallic shell burst into flames, its parts rocket as far as the tree-tops before falling down in fiery pieces reek of burnt metals.

“PT,” Caitlyn says as she scrambles out of the tank. “Assume position slightly behind the marker that I’ve previously set.”

“Roger.” PT moves toward the designated point as soon as Catilyn jumps out of him.

She then takes a thousand steps toward Genesis. Electric sparks are leaping out of the holes on her body formed by the 7.62mm cartridges. Caitlyn draws her ear closer toward Genesis’ chest. She could still hear a faint hum coming from within. It indicates that her core is still functioning. Perhaps her consciousness is shot by the shock of bullet impacts. But she is still alive at the moment, and can still be saved.

Caitlyn straps Genesis’ carbine to her, before putting the unconscious maid body on to her back. She trots toward PT’s location.

“Uh, KT.” The tank speaks to her.

“What is it?”

“The Gauntlets are pulling back.” He says. “Their turrets aimed at our position.”

Caitlyn puts Genesis on PT’s hull before climbing it, doing so while processing what the tank words’ means.

“They are aware of us now.” She sighs.

“Well at least we tried.” PT says. “At least they pull back right?”

They indeed pulled back, which provides a breathing room for the defenders. But they will definitely return. And by the time that happens, they would already have this position fortified as to prevent further flanking maneuver such as what they were trying to achieve. It would then be difficult to contain those Gauntlets if the settlement is not reinforced anytime soon.

“First sergeant, the Gauntlets to the north-northeast are pulling back. But I don’t see any shots landing on them.” Fort’s voice comes through.

Caitlyn scrambles down the hatch, laying Genesis down inside the cabin in an as much as comfort deemed possible in such a cramped space.

“Our position has been compromised.” She responds. “They have stationed two squads of Guards and a Carapace prior to our arrival. We took care of them but Genesis is down.”

“Artillery, take cover!” A Proxy voice that spikes as soon as Caitlyn finishes her sentence.

That yelling prompts her to peek out of the hatch. She is met by hails of projectiles trailing through the blue sky, before finally landing at several points in the settlement. The thundering explosions follow a few seconds after the shells land on houses, streets, and decorations. Caitlyn cranes her head up, tracking the trajectories of those shells. Her gaze eventually falls to a direction where the enemy artillery is most probably stationed.

“Charlotte, are you still there?” Caitlyn calls her.

“Still alive. Receiving artillery fire but KP is still holding so far.”

“Genesis is down.”

“What?” Charlotte asks in her calm tone that doesn’t imply any sort of concern.

“She got shot and need attention. PT could use some too.”

“Guess you want me there, don’t you?”

“We’ll rendezvous at a mid-point just like previously.”

As soon as Caitlyn says that, the captain’s voice interrupts.

“First Sergeant Caitlyn, can you see where did those shells come from?”

Caitlyn turns her gaze to the previous direction where her suspicion of enemy artillery presence rings.

“It is about five degree west of north sir, a few clicks from my position.”

“Excellent,” Fort commends with a slightly raised tone. “Now get there and blow them to hell.”

“But sir, Genesis is injured and I could use some repairs on PT.”

“Denied.” Fort states. “This artillery barrage doesn’t stop those Guards from picking us off from the distance. We have to abandon our position.”

“Don’t we have reinforcement coming?”

“I don’t know what the command is doing back there. But there don’t seem to be one anytime soon.” Fort’s voice is mixed with the trembling noise of crashing high-explosive shells, as well as machine gun fire. “We are about to stage a fighting retreat, but with that artillery piece lying around I’m afraid it would take less than a few seconds for it to be a full rout.”

Caitlyn falls silent. Her situation is just like three days ago, the time when she met PT. All alone deep in enemy lines, as her comrades are retreating. Why does it have to be like this? Why she has to be the one that advances while everyone else is falling back? It was a fortune that she and PT made it out alive back then. She doubts that it would occur again for the second time. This time there’s almost no guarantee that there would be allies breaking through to get to them. She might have to break through the enemy lines by herself.

“Hey, KT.” PT calls out to her.

She turns towards one of the screens that shows a wiggly line with peaks that spikes whenever PT speaks.

“We can do this.” He says to her. “We’ve made it before. We’ll make it again.”

“First sergeant!” Fort’s voice becomes louder. “Do you hear me? Are you there?”

Caitlyn shuts her eyes, trying to ignore the captain’s voice.

“I’m not sure, PT.” Her hand touches the screen with the line as she turns her gaze down.

“Hey, listen.” PT’s voice gentle down. “We’ve been through hell okay? That’s why they’re depending on us. They wanted us to go because no-one dares to do that. We can do this, I believe we can.”

A tank asked her to believe that they could make this daring assault. Just like what had happened before. The thought of that left a bubbling impression in her core.

“Caitlyn, what should it be?” That’s Charlotte voice coming through.

“I’m going to take the maid’s word for it. Remember what you’re fighting for, and remember just that, nothing more. Then, we charge their position and show them who’s boss.”

Caitlyn grips her hand that she placed on the screen. If only PT has a hand…

It doesn’t take long for her to nod.

“Very well.” She moves to her seat and man the gun again. “Direction five degrees west of north, full speed ahead.”

“That’s the spirit!” PT exclaims. “Five degrees west of north it is.”

Caitlyn then pulls up her utilizer. “Captain Fort, we’re advancing toward that artillery piece, over.”

“I’ll make sure something is up for you back here, once you are done.” He replies. “Also, there will be air supports for you. They’re going to abide my request for this one.”

“Much obliged, captain.”

“Yeah they better be!” PT yells out.

“Caitlyn?” Charlotte calls for her again.

“I’m after that enemy artillery so you could safely retreat.” Caitlyn replies.

“I wish fate sides you this day.”

“Thank you.”

Caitlyn glances at the speedometer. It shows Redeemer’s top speed. They are now cruising toward the enemy artillery position. There might be some Guards stationed there for protection. But with careful approach, they could sneak up and snipe those damned cannons, and haul away before those Guards could catch up to them. She and PT just needs an elevated position so they could fire down on the enemy position.

And as fortune has it, Caitlyn finds a slightly higher ridge after a careful observation of the surrounding environment. In addition to that is a dense vegetation covering the whole ridge, allowing an excellent concealment should the enemy return fire. Caitlyn orders PT to slow down as to not give away their position. They prowl ever closer on a designated position along the ridge. And as soon as they reached it, as soon as they got view on the enemy artillery position…

“Whoa…” Caitlyn’s mouth gaped.

“What the hell is that…” PT expresses his astonishment with a tone that mimics a whisper.

Down there is a plaza of a barren village. Perhaps it is once used as a place for the townsfolk to gather. And on that plaza are two massive tanks, two times the size of PT. Their large hull is carried by four pieces of tracks, two on each side. Their overwhelming turret bears the weight of two 155mm barrels, something that Caitlyn sure is able to penetrate PT’s side in a single volley. Their barrels are currently angled upward. The implication of that sends shiver down Caitlyn’s spine.

“This is the enemy artillery that is bombarding the settlement?”

“Those shots originated here right? There’s nothing else around here but those two monstrosities.”

            Monstrosities…

Even PT is afraid of that thing.

And the affirmation of their fears is served on a silver platter not long after.

Their barrels roar in turn repeatedly, firing a salvo toward the heavens. The ground rocks in their wake, the trees shed their foliage for each shell that leaves the barrel. Even one of the desolated structures in their proximity collapses. It is as if they brought doomsday with them, a representative of a mythological titan who quakes the world with his raging roar. PT’s cabin vibrates hard. Caitlyn cowers as the tanks keep on firing, tucking her head and covering her ears. She couldn’t imagine what sort of madness that drive one to create what even PT refers to as monstrosities.

The firing soon ends, and Caitlyn collapses to her seat. It feels like she has just gone through the end of the world and survived. But that took away all her energy, her spirit. She is not sure whether she alone could bring such a massive machinery down.

“Do you think we could pierce that thing’s armour?”

“No.” PT replies. There is no continuation to his statement. “We can deal damage. But alone, they would be negligible.”

After finding no Guards around, Caitlyn reaches for the last glimmer of hope of taking that thing down.

“But at least they are artillery pieces, right?” She asks. “They’re not meant for direct combat.”

“KT! Brace Yourselves!” PT yells frantically, as he hits the reverse gear.

Caitlyn attempts to do what he told her, but the movement transition happened too fast that she is thrown to the front side of the cabin.

“Aah…!” Caitlyn yelps as she braces herself in the wake of terrifying shockwaves that quakes PT’s cabin. “PT!” She calls out to him.

The shock is so powerful that it topples PT’s balance. But he quickly regains it.

“What was that?” Caitlyn says.

As the dirt rains down and the dust clouds clears up, PT opens his mouth again if he had one.

“Death…”

From the other side of the dust clouds emerges the same monstrosity that they have observed from the ridge, slowly creeping toward them. Caitlyn’s breath is caught as its size grows ever more overwhelming as the tank approach them steadily. Their barrels are straightened, aimed at them. And in the seconds between life and death, Caitlyn’s processor freezes; her mouth gaping in the sight of that monstrosity.

“That’s it!” PT shouts. “I’m getting us out of here!” His words, and a sudden jerk of movement snaps Caitlyn back to reality.

And just as PT drives away, two shells land on where they were standing.

“Bloody hell!” PT yells again. “KT! Are you there!?”

“I…” Caitlyn stutters, her breath heavy. “I’m here…” She holds on to the vibrating cabin as she tries to recover herself.

“Thank the Primus you’re okay.”

“Get us…” Caitlyn pauses, catching her breath. Her core is still quaking from that last shot coming out of that monster’s barrel. She looks deep to find herself. But all she finds is only the thought of getting annihilated by its shell. “Get us away from that thing!” Caitlyn then cries. “Anywhere away from them!”

“That’s what I’m doing right now! Stay calm and get your processor back in shape.”

As soon as he said that, he suddenly stops. Caitlyn once again got thrown to the cabin’s front as there is no deceleration. PT just stops as if he crashes into a massive boulder strong enough to hold his advance.

“PT!” Caitlyn cries at him as she rubs her head.

“I can’t move!”

“What’s going on!?” Caitlyn asks, her tone is filled with all the concerns that she could come up with. She looks around and finds the displays of the screens surrounding her are getting distorted and covered in statics. “What’s going on!?” She asks again with a louder tone.

“That bastard snared me!”

In the next second, Caitlyn could perceive a backward movement occurring. She scrambles out of the hatch and turns her gaze to PT’s rear. There the monstrosity has its turret aimed at PT. But there is something different about it. There is quite a space between its two barrels. And in that space is a large circular compartment. That compartment is now opened, firing a crimson beam that is holding PT in place.

Even worse, the beam is pulling PT closer to it.

And then the massive tank aligns its front toward PT’s rear. As soon as that happens, some contraptions emerge out from under the front hull. They then unpack, revealing their cylindrical shape that is perpendicular to the tank’s width as well as the sharp thermal blades attached to them. Caitlyn soon realizes what they are as they begin to spin at an uncanny rate.

“PT, drive…” She says as soon as she sinks back into the hatch. “Drive! Drive!” Her voice gets louder with each word.

“I’m at full speed!”

But despite of it, they keep going backward; they are being dragged backward.

Caitlyn scrambles for the turret control and tries to turn it to the tank’s direction. But it doesn’t work.

“Turn your turret and unload some AP on that thing!” Caitlyn yells

“I can’t either!”

Caitlyn can hear the noise of the spinning blades gets louder and louder. She dares herself to peek out of the hatch. And that is a mistake. As she is greeted by the sight of the blades that gets closer, their song for her demise grows ever evident. And she feels that her soul, if she even has one, just departed from her.

“DRIVE, YOU USELESS JUNK! DRIVE!!!” She yells out an order to PT in an unusually deafening tone.

“I CAAAN’T!!!!”

Caitlyn sinks and cowers.

By that point, the spinning blades barely reached PT’s rear.

When suddenly an explosion occurs on the massive tank’s circular compartment. And that releases PT from its grip. He nimbly rolls off, leaving the monstrosity behind further and further in a short time span, as another explosion occurs on the tank’s track.

Two Cosmos streaks past overhead.

“We got you covered 51st Tank Platoon.” Says one of the pilots.

The massive tank should be able to fire on PT. But for some reason, it decides not to.

“Thank…” PT pauses. “You.”

“Where are you going? I thought you’re heading for that artillery.” Says the other.

“Negative.” PT replies. “We have to abort. The enemy have a new toy that caught us off guard and renders my commander combat ineffective.”

“Roger that.” The first pilot says. “Command is evacuating the settlement at the moment. There will be gunships escorting you, they are on their way to your position.”

“I appreciate that.”

Caitlyn only listens to that conversation in silence, all while she is regaining her senses.

“KT…” PT calls her out.

But Caitlyn remains silent. Her hollow sight is turned down. She gathers the remainder of her strength and position herself beside Genesis.

“KT…” PT calls her again, in a gentler tone.

She takes a glance at Genesis’ composed face. Of course, she is unconscious and didn’t experience the horror that she has just witnessed.

“KT?”

The vibrating cabin and the hum of PT’s engine blows a drowsy breeze into the cabin. Too much have happened to her for the day, most that makes it up comes from the recent occurrence, the encounter with that monstrosity. The image of that massive hunk of machinery is still vivid in her processor.

Caitlyn wonders…

“Hey KT, please tell me you are there.”

Whether closing her eyes could make it disappear. Whether following Genesis up could help her forget that monstrosity.

And after taking a deep breath, her heavy head falls on Genesis’ right shoulder and her sight turns dark.

“Hey KT!”

–**–


Writer: PrimDom

Writchal #3 – Opposites

“I’ve got two sides, and both of them keeps messing my life up.”

The harmony and the dissonance. The tranquil and the cacophony. Every conflict begin with an opposition, and reaching a compromise between the two is a writer’s job. It just so happen compromising between hobby and academics are one of the area author is bad at.

Onto the news.

Writchal #2 berlangsung dari 5 Februari 2021 hingga 5 Maret 2021. Pada awalnya ada usulan untuk mengusung tema valentine, namun karena tema Writchal #2 berada di seputar hal yang sama (High School Romance), akhirnya kami mengadakan gacha tema untuk Writchal #3. Tema yang terpilih kali ini adalah salah satu dari Hidup dan Mati. Kadiv awalnya berniat untuk menciptakan semacam dua segmen Writchal yang bertentangan dengan menggunakan grand theme Opposites“, namun setelah melihat banyak yang menginterpretasi pilihan tema menjadi Hidup-Mati saja, pada akhirnya dibiarkan–it is what it is.

Lalu anda mungkin bertanya kenapa baru dipublikasikan tanggal 20 Maret 2022. Tidak lain dan tidak bukan adalah karena deadline dari Writchal #3 diperpanjang hingga 19 Maret 2022 akibat Kadiv yang belum selesai menulis. Sampai sekarang Kadiv juga masih belum selesai menulis entri Writchal #3 (See Paragraph 1 for reference). Jadi ya sudahlah.

Berikut adalah submisi Writchal #3:

If things go well and life demands it, mayhaps we will meet in the next Writchal.

Until then, fare thee well!

Innocence Lost

Entry Writchal #3
Tema: Mati


Innocence Lost

We were told that your people are savages. A bloodthirsty lot who craved nothing but violence. 

We were told that your nation is full of hate. The endless fires of anger. The willingness to kill without remorse. 

We were told that you have no understanding of compassion or love. 

We were told that you are a people of cruelty. 

We were told that your people worship God in complete disregard of His will. 

As the author of one of my favourite poems put it, “You have wronged us. You have wronged me.”

We were told that you have wronged us, and you have wronged all your own people. You have brought your hate here. You have sent your soldiers to violate the sanctity of every human being to do violence in the name of avarice. 

With that in mind, I have no reason to think twice when I pulled the trigger on you. 

You are the scourge of the Earth, and I am the agent of justice.

So, I pulled the trigger and shot you. 

But then… what I saw was not the savage killer that we were told. 

Not the heretic who is unable to accept the will of God. 

Not the man who cannot learn compassion.

Not the hate-filled, bloodthirsty spirit of revenge.

The only thing I saw was but a boy who was as scared as anyone else.

You looked at me, and then you looked down at the ground, and then you looked up again. And you were shaking.

You began to cry.

It was as if I had made your heart break.

“What have I done? What have I done?”

You cried.

“Why do you have to do this to me? I just want to go home! I just want to go home!”

You looked at me, and I saw a face that was full of fear and pain.

I saw a boy who did not appear to even know his own age.

I saw a face full of confusion, and you began to scream.

“Don’t do this to me!”

“Please, don’t do this!”

“I just want to go home! Please!”

“Mother! Anastasia!”

I felt an overwhelming sense of guilt.

All I could think was, “I’m sorry.”

I’m sorry for pulling the trigger.

I’m sorry for shooting you.

I’m sorry for your pain.

I’m sorry for your tears.

I’m sorry I took your life.

I am left with many questions.

Do you think it’s possible to forgive me?

All those people that I have killed.

Have I sinned all this time?

Is it really possible to forgive the person who murdered you?

You were still human. 

You were still our brother.

You were still loved.

You were still valuable.

You were still living in the world that God made. 

You were still made in God’s image.

But Your life was just taken from you without any consideration or grace.

I cannot undo my action. 

I cannot get you back to your family, to the life you were used to.

You will die before your time.

You had so much more to give,

Oh, your soul had so much more to give.

All that was stolen from you by hate.

Do you think God will forgive me?

Can God forgive me? 

Do you think that I have sinned so deeply that I am no longer worthy to go to heaven?

Can I forgive myself?

I didn’t ask to be here.

I didn’t ask for this responsibility.

I don’t want to be here anymore.

Why does it have to turn out like this?

Why did God let this happen?

As you cried for your mother and your sister in your dying breath.

I was in tears.

I cried, and then I cried harder.

Because if only I could take your life back.

I could right so much wrong.

All those people that I have killed.

God forgive me.

I killed a boy.

He was just a boy.

He was just 17.

If only I could take away your pain,

As I sat in front of your shallow grave.

Nameless and unremarkable.

With only a rusty old rifle to mark it. 

I thought to myself.

That I will never be forgiven.

I thought that it would be my eternity here in this place.

I thought that I could never return to the world that I know.

The last vestige of my innocence.

Tainted by my own hands.

Over the blood of a fellow human.

I couldn’t make it right.

Why did this happen?

Who decides such things?

Why do I get to grow older, and he doesn’t?

Why did God let this happen?

Why did you have to die?

It doesn’t make sense.

None of it makes sense.

When will it make sense?

Maybe for the rest of my life.

I will live in misery. 

Maybe for the rest of my life.

I will never be able to forgive myself. 

Maybe for the rest of my life.

I will live with the memories that I took away from you. 

And everyone that lost their life by my hands.

I’m sorry.

I’m sorry.

I’m sorry.


Penulis: Von Grenadus

Several Haikus

Entry Writchal #2
Tema: High School Romance


Several Haikus

A rainy evening

upon a musty carpet

sev’ral years ago.

***

The pitter patter

of the rain on the windows

followed our chatter.

***

Two hours later,

we went home; and for a year,

we chatted no more.

***

Fateful January,

we talked once more, as teammates,

then as two friends.

***

Suddenly, it lit.

A magnesium flame, white hot.

Mutual? God knows.

***

Messaging till night

for a few moons, our eyes glued

to the screens we held.

***

A warm April night,

Luna and Venus, aligned;

a chance, I squandered.

***

One school break later;

our uniforms, once myrtle,

now a deep dark blue.

***

As the days passed,

bright metal turned to dull ash,

and you grew distant.

***

The bright fire turned dim.

You began to talk with them,

much to my dismay.

***

Eventually,

we stopped talking entirely,

and you became them.

***

Then, I saw a chance:

a trip to a land far east,

where the trees are pink.

***

“One last chance,” I said,

still blinded by the fire,

one that is long snuffed.

***

Taking off, I saw

on your phone, you just sent hearts

to someone I know.

***

“It’s normal,” friends said.

“I dislike him,” you mentioned.

“Lies,” I knew, betrayed.

***

As the world locks down,

I confronted him; once friends,

now traitor and foe.

***

Till our blue is shed

and till now, we haven’t talked;

not like we used to.

***

And yet, I can still

hear chatter and smell carpet,

on rainy evenings.


Writer: Duke

The Girl Whose Name I remember

Entry Writchal #2
Tema: High School Romance


[There’s only a handful of fleeting memories you could remember in life.]

[It came in many forms.]

[Visions.]

[Sounds.]

[Feelings.]

[And names.]

[To remember all of it, is not an easy feat any person capable of doing.]

[And if you could—]

[You must be a happy person.]

“Accordingly, you only have one month.”

Short. Loud. And clear.

There’s no need for a whisper, nor any hesitation. The Doctor spoke, as if it is a fact written in some Q1 journal. With the facility this hospital provides, I have no doubt he could buy those paper with his pocket money alone.

But, not even here—not even this hospital could reach a meaningful conclusion on the nature of this disease.

“I see.”

“Your guardian is still uninformed in regards to this news. I believe you have the right to know this firsthand.”

The Doctor continued, sliding down the paper of what seems to be the result of his study. It’s tattered with signs of crumple all over. Lots of marks from black, red, and blue ink clashing across the neatly typed printout. From the strokes alone, you could sense the stress endured by whoever was holding the pen. Even more so, when you saw the strain on his face.

“That’s all I have to inform you.”

Though his voice denotes a matter-of-fact tone, his body shows otherwise. Clenched was his fist, wrinkled was his brow. A frown any child would consider scary, but all I could see is a thoughtful adult.

I’m sure he had taken some heavy consideration before this.

“Can I…have some time alone?”

“I will call back if I ever have anything else.”

The doctor abruptly walks out of my room and closed the door shut in the most ordinary way possible. Not a gentle minuscule slide, nor a slam in hurry. It’s the relaxing sound effect you could hear in every visual novel whenever a door closes.

I somberly relaxed my body after an eternity of five minutes sitting upright. The folded curtain let the sunlight paint the bedsheet in dreary orange. It’s warmth reminds me of the girl this hand once interlocked with.

“…one month.”

It’s already established and well-known that the ‘mood’ human feels is simply a mixture of several neurotransmitters changing the composition of hormones inside your body.

Dopamine, histamine, serotonin, epinephrine, I couldn’t really name every one of it.

With its fluctuation, the cells in your body responded differently. The chemistry of feelings. A chaotic dance between the fleeting life of several molecule in accordance to the ephemeral moments in life.

Including moments of happiness.

…Do I have to define what happiness is?

Surely people have different views of what they consider as ‘happiness’.

Working late on an assignment in sunset-painted classroom.

Blue sky with summer haze on the off-chance unlocked rooftop.

Blooming lilies of varying colors during the entrance ceremony.

A closed space just the two of us, under the confinement of yellow, checker-patterned umbrella.

…Honestly, a slight hint of relief washed over me as I recall each of it. And the end of these dreamlike days, inching ever closer with each relief.

Satisfactory Downfall Immunity Disorder.

An abnormality where one’s own happiness reduce one’s very lifespan.

The kind of disease you can easily found on those sappy, high-school romance tragedy manga or novel.

I made up that name on the spot. SDID. Makes it sound cooler. Besides, it’s easier to remember than nothing.

I am the first and only case of it occurring.

Fluctuations of hormone triggered from an increase in several neurotransmitters. Just the right combination, and every human is capable of recognizing such emotion as happiness. It works slightly differently on me—this body. Rather, I’d call it an extra step.

That very same combination, disrupts the immune system inside this body. Surely it’d be alright if the Doctor could just figure out which part is dysfunctional. Unfortunately, there’s no pattern to its symptoms.

Several medical check and CT scans concluded with a vague result that might describe what was happening every time the symptoms appeared.

Signs of aging.

An incurable disease which led every living animal into its inevitable death—as far as I’m concerned.

At a glance, nothing much changes, and only I could feel it. The feeling of consciously approaching death’s embrace. Physical exertion becomes weaker. Terminally-ill and depressing thoughts encroaches your mental. Life as you know it, seems to be hurrying you to the finish line.

As time went on, the progression shows no sign of halting. No longer just something I could feel, but something that shows. My body begin to lose its red hue, increasingly pale with each passing day. Strands of hair turning white without me noticing.

The only surprising thing was I managed to retain my youthful look. Not that it matters, when the cells inside my body are dying.

Unironically, my favorite reads are fictions concerning thought experiment on immortality. The loneliness it brings, or the inherent suffering within. Altogether it pieces the what-if consequences stemming from limitless choice. Eventually alluding it into an illusion of having no choice. It has been so, way back before I realize something is wrong with my body. Perhaps a coincidence. Though I never take credit preferring such read as a consolation for SDID.

On the other hand, I disliked sappy stories concerning terminally-ill patient with limited deadline. Maybe I should call it deathline? Such stories’ context was reversed from immortality, it grants the person virtually limitless choice in expense of facing one absolute answer it couldn’t change. Hence why anytime the person in question survives, it felt as if denigrating the whole ordeal of the story. It just felt wrong for them to survive. Perhaps it’s an attempt of deluding myself from SDID, or I’m probably too narrow-minded.

I suppose deep down I’m simply trying to justify my own inevitable death.

“One…month, huh.”

A sigh escaped as I laid down my body, blanketed over the dim sunset.

At moments like these, usually the terminally-ill heroine’s monologue began to ramble. Recalling the happy memories and whatnot. Believe me, now I can relate to that way better than I used to. Only then, for me to realize I don’t even have such luxury.

A slight remembrance of my happier past could hasten the one-month lifespan I clutch ever so loosely.

I want to remember. I desperately want to be happy before I die.

But I want to live. I want to see her once more. I want to tell her a lot of things. I want her to be happy.

Tears began to stream their way to the bedsheet.

I couldn’t describe the internal conflict happening inside. Has anyone ever feels so much torment over deciding what to feel in their life? Could any human ever decide their own feelings?

If I was born normal I wouldn’t have spared a single thought on it.

This habit of mine appeared soon after I was diagnosed with SDID. Every time the sun sets, I wept. The thoughts of what I would feel next time sent shivers throughout my body. The memories from that day keeps coming back to remind me of how happy I once was. And once again, inflict me with the pain of suffering from happiness.

I guess without the SDID context, the previous line sounds quite sappy for a wholesome romance novel, right?

“Haha.”

I let out a laugh, a momentary flash of happiness slips out of my mind.

“That’s another day off my life.”

And this habit is the reason why I have only a month left.

So, should we begin? The long exposition that is my past. A lot of people probably will be less than enthusiastic hearing this—most of them will be bored. But at least let me take rein in the pacing, all right? Let me savor and indulge in this fleeting happiness which costs my literal life.

I cried, I smiled, and I began to chant the first mantra.

“Where should I begin?”


It rained on that day.

Tsuyu…”

Plum rain. The downpour happened arbitrarily despite the clear blue sky a few minutes ago. I had forgotten…no, I think I never brought an umbrella to school, so I had to take a shelter on a nearby gazebo. My house was still blocks away, there’s no way I could dash through the rain without getting drenched.

I had light clothing and my shoulders were wet. It’s cold, but I didn’t mind. Usually when it rain during these times, it lasted for hours on end. I wonder if I’m going to be trapped in this little gazebo until evening.

“I might end up with a cold by then.”

The first shiver went down my spine. Feeling restless, I decided to do some activity just to kill time. I ransacked through my bag searching for anything I could spend my time on. I found nothing of interest.

Schoolbooks, notebooks, pencil box.

To be completely honest, I was not the kid with many hobbies. I have certain fondness to writing, but that was it.

Do I really have to read the math book? I could have done the homework given, but somehow it felt inappropriate to do it before I reached home. That left me with social studies, which I clearly have no fond memories of.

Ah.

It’s the sharpener I lost. I had bought the sharpener a few weeks ago when we went shopping to a fancy mall out of town. Why had I bought this? I seldom used pencil. The design was not even cute, but it’s simply eye-catching. A peculiar hexagonal prism with yellow outlining.

So it was not lost, after all.

Wonder if I got any pencil I could use this on. I reached inside my bag for my pencil box. During that slight window, I was unaware—

A slight ruffle followed with a loud thud. Someone sat beside me. Another kid, clad in drenched yellow opaque raincoat. It was so drenched, splashes of water sloppily dripped from every crease and edge. The immediate vicinity became slightly colder.

That person sat still for a few seconds, clouds of white emanating in quick succession from inside the hood. Perhaps tired. After it subsided, that person took the hood off. To my surprise, it was a girl. Her hair, messy with many curly protrusion. Though short-haired, her facial features was smooth-lined.

Droplets of sweat glisten her overall appearance, complementing the reflective, wet-raincoat.

“Umm.”

Her face twitched and she turned over to look at me.

“What’s the point of using raincoat if you sweat that much?”

That question probably was not the best conversation starter.

Yet she answered anyway, “I like to run when it rains.” Her voice tone was childish, but she said as if my question was rhetorical.

Keeping the conversation going, “Won’t you get scolded if you got home like that?”, I asked.

“I should be the one asking that.”

For a moment, I saw her lips bent down into a suggestive frown. That probably was the sign to end the conversation, so I sealed my mouth shut. I was simply asking out of curiosity, but most often than not, people didn’t take it lightly.

Forgetting my initial objective, I sat in silence, occasionally examining the not-so-brand-new sharpener I was about to use. My seating partner, on the other hand, had taken out a book and a pencil and began sketching in earnest. ‘Isn’t it a bad idea to do it while raining?’, ‘Why is it your face have to be so close to the book?’, ‘Do you like drawing?’—questions began to pop one after another inside me. I had stared at her intensely for quite some time until she finally noticed my gaze.

“…Is there something you would like to ask?”

I began to arrange the order of questions I had in mind. My mouth stuttered as I couldn’t catch up with the events going on inside and outside. I was nonplussed by her question.

“Can I watch you draw?”

It was an outrageous question. She knitted her eyebrow for a while, perhaps baffled by my question just as much—if not more than I was. People have been looking at me this way for a while. Previously, I blamed my choice of questions during moments like these, which clearly was not the best I could come up with. Lately though, I have a vague idea perhaps they were baffled after looking at my expression, which definitely was not the best I could come up with.

After what seemed to be a long five seconds, she went back to drawing. I was left frozen and hanging.

Was what I had thought—

“I like drawing,” until she answered. “I cannot draw at school or at home, so I have to make use of the limited time I have in-between.”

It was sort of captivating for me listening to her sincere answer (?) using a childish—no, maybe it’s closer to boyish, tone. The downpour outside was terribly loud, but I could hear her voice just fine. Instead, it accentuate her voice as it reverberated throughout the little space we’re in.

I always considered myself as a poor communicator, hence my dislike of social studies. But in that short few hours with her, the conversation flowed naturally. Like a father and son playing catch. A pen pal exchanging letter side-by-side. We proceeded to talk about each other for quite a while, growing restless with each passing time as the rain gradually subside. Knowing the rain would eventually end, I did my best to keep her interest at bay.

Before it subsided, though, she ended the conversation first.

“I’m out of pencil.”

Turns out, she had been drawing with spare pencils. After one was no longer sharp, she took out another, already sharp and ready to sketch.

Bewildered, I was looking if there was any way to prolong our encounter. ‘What should I do?’, I could do nothing as she put away the book and pencils on her lap into the slightly damp shoulder bag.

Oh, the sharpener. I held onto this firmly all this time, haven’t I?

“Umm! It’s still raining outside, so, if you’d like!”, I declared abruptly as I hand out my sharpener.

Was that the right choice to make? Would she stay for longer? Wait, does she even willing to take it? Why am I handing it over to her if I could just lend it?

The response I received though, was neither a refusal nor acceptance. She took the sharpener, briskly pull the raincoat hood over her head, and said—

“Thanks.”

She ran away into the rain. Her dashing figure, quickly diminishing as she went further and further. Her raincoat was too wide and baggy on the underside with a checkered black and white pattern. You could easily mistook her as a floating traffic cone from afar.

“I don’t even know her name.”

And I easily spotted my biggest mistake right then. I was too absorbed talking with her, I have no idea about her identity nor how to contact her. All she left was an unforgettable memory, impression, and a lingering warmth on my left palm.

On the way home, I was stricken with regret. The whole night, I was contemplating the novice mistake I just did, swearing not to do it again.

It took an anxious night and the next day to find out that she was also a 4th-grade student in my school. I was struck with relief and elation, contrary to my expectations.

That was how I met Tsuyu, the person closest to me, and the most likely perpetrator of my inevitable death.


Tsuyu was a quiet, but vehement girl. I learnt that over the course of Grade School. Ever since that day, we have been meeting each other on the same spot after school. I was the one who proposed the idea, because seeing her sincerely answering while her hand sketched away in earnest gave a warmth feeling inside me no one else could give. Not even my family. It was Tsuyu alone who provided me with such warmth.

Tsuyu came from a well-off family. As expected, her parents were quite strict with the limits of activity she could do. At home, she was expected to be an obedient and capable kid, meanwhile our school was pushing her to befriend everyone while maintaining the status of an honor student.

It was to no one surprise, that the only time left for her, was the small window between home and school—which granted her the freedom of being herself. Apparently, the gazebo was her main base of operation for quite a while. At one point, I realized I have been taking her precious time alone.

‘No, it’s fine. I like it better with you here.’ That line caught me off-guard. I felt a tinge down my heart. If I learned anything during our time together under the gazebo, it was to voice my thoughts clearly and immediately instead of keeping it inside. Tsuyu had an expressionless look due to constantly maintaining it both at home and school. It must be tiring for her having to do it all the time, so I wholeheartedly smile in her stead. ‘Yeah, I like you too, Tsuyu.’

Oh, Tsuyu also liked drawing. In fact, all she did whenever we were together at that time was dutifully drawing with her face an inch away from the sketchbook. While it’s true I had more interest in observing and questioning Tsuyu, it’s not like the thought of looking at her drawing never crossed my mind.

To put it bluntly, it was abysmal. No, maybe avant-garde? One time, I saw her drawing an object similar to a mountain.

‘No, it’s a capybara.’ And I instantly knew why her parents had banned her from drawing.

While there was a momentary restlessness nearing the end of our 6th year, we had grown accustomed to each other and it gradually diminished. There was one talk at that time, it was raining too like when we first met. Tsuyu was acting unusual and I couldn’t really grasp her intention. She had asked a lot of question, as if reversing our everyday role—not that I mind, I was pleased, even. Turned out that was her attempt at parting with me at that moment. She planned to left things as it was without leaving a single goodbye.

To no avail, though, since coincidentally I entered the same Middle School as her. What she didn’t know, though, I had planned to do so from the get go, putting much effort in study which I never expected was capable of doing. Such is the power of love. I had no idea back then, though.

At our graduation, when I revealed the Middle School we’re getting in was the same all along, she broke down in tears. ‘I’m not…gonna cry. No, I mean…thank you.’ That was the first time I had seen Tsuyu genuinely smiled in front of me.

During our 1st-year of Middle School, Tsuyu still put up with the whole facade, albeit showing a bit restraint. Her time spent around me gradually increased. Instead of the limited hours inside the gazebo we used to sit, we had plenty of time walking home together after school.

‘You know, I never saw you doing anything whenever we’re together. Even right now.’ It was endearing to see her gradually opening up to me. What seemed to be a case of me interrogating her had mellowed out. Now I knew she was also interested in me. Although I had to admit her approach was so, so indirect, and with it confusion was bound to happen.

‘Come to think of it. I spent most of the time observing and talking with you.’ But that didn’t bother me. Not at all. It’s Tsuyu, after all. Her method of inquiring instead drove me to mull over several aspects I had never even considered previously.

‘It’s my inquisitive nature, I guess? I liked to know things, especially if someone is willing to answer.’ For one, I realized that it was not wrong of me to feel curious about a lot of things. Sure, in Grade School I might have had a case of social anxiety since not everyone was willing to answer like Tsuyu. I had blamed myself for being nosy, prying into every little detail that went deep into personal matters. Tsuyu helped me realize that it was okay to be curious, but not everyone was keen to answer so I need to be careful with my approach.

‘That’s not what I’m talking about.’ And most of the time, Tsuyu responded with a sidelong glance at me while pouting. It would take a fool to mistook her red cheek as an illusion painted over by the setting sun, and perhaps I was a fool at that time.

It didn’t matter that she was a bit reluctant to shower me with various questions, she probably never experienced showing interest to someone her age. I knew better though. Everyone kept her at a distance and instead showered her in praise and compliments. Exemplary honor student, I must say.

‘Don’t worry, it’s not you drawing that I only like, it’s watching you that I like, Tsuyu.’ Usually after then, Tsuyu would left her mouth gaping, as if trying to tell me something, but forcefully shut it close, as if stopping midway sentence. I told her it’s fine to blurt out anything on her mind without reservation, but she’d only shook her head, dismissing it with a disheartened expression.

‘I like to draw.’

‘I know. Seeing you drawing made me feel relieved, for some reason.’

‘I will draw you.’

‘…Well, I must say you have to improve on that department first, don’t you? I’m quite confident on my looks, even though not as charming as yours, Tsuyu.’

Yeah, I was truly a fool back then.

Still, small chatter like these, accompanied by orange glow from the west and occasional afternoon breeze remained as a precious memory within me. Looking at Tsuyu, listening to her activities for the day, the way she walked, and the effort she put at everything. You know. It just made me happy.


It hadn’t rained yet on that day.

The sun was already setting, it’s probably 4 to 5 PM in the afternoon. Basking under that afternoon glow, two shadow walked idly next to each other, rhythm matching and all.

Perhaps a leftover from PE class exercise, exhaustion was apparent on my face. Even mundane task such as breathing became taxing. I simply dismissed it as me neglecting my own physical health. Tsuyu had no PE class that day though, but her breathing was just as rough as mine.

“Fever?”

“Maybe.”

Tsuyu had something to say after school. Considering we’re approaching end of term—it’s highly probable she meant to address graduation since it’s our 3rd-year. With graduation, came high school and its merry band of worry to be dealt with. But we addressed that problem much earlier. We’ve been discussing about our choice of high school. We didn’t want a repetition of what happened at Grade School, after all. At least not Tsuyu, who was fervent about it.

We decided to pursue a somewhat renowned public high school. As expected, Tsuyu’s parent was proven quite difficult to convince. They were adamant on enlisting Tsuyu to a prestigious private high school out of town. I had initially planned to do the same thing as previous, studying to the bone in order to get in the same high school as her, if there was no other choice. ‘No, let me handle this.’, Tsuyu replied with conviction, banishing my worry to the back of my mind.

Several days later, Tsuyu ran to me in exhilaration. She spread her arm open and hugged me on the spot. ‘My parents approved me going there!’ It was rare for Tsuyu to openly show her emotion, much less grinning from ear-to-ear. Of course I was happy. Overjoyed, even. Returning her embrace, despite somewhat embarrassed myself. After all, when will I ever get the chance of Tsuyu displaying physical affection again? Although that night I was suddenly hit by lethargy and had a fever for several days.

Up to this day, I still had no idea how Tsuyu managed to convince her parents, though. When questioned, she only answered ‘I have not put up with everything for years in vain.’, which, as someone who knew her better than most, I could validate and agree with.

Now, what did she have to say?

I had a hunch. Two hunches, apparently. One bad, one good, No, maybe both were good in a sense?

First-

“I finished drawing you.”

Tsuyu halted in front of me, handing out a simple brown file easily passed off as important document.

…That was a surprise. So that’s what this was all about. I had thought Tsuyu died down on drawing, or at least pursuing it. It had been a while since I last saw her drawing too, apparently. The last thing I remembered was her drawing an odd ball of spherical apparatus and she said it was a doll’s face. That was long, long, months ago. Maybe during 2nd-year. I knew Tsuyu couldn’t draw at school and at home, so it had to be our pastime whenever she did, so whenever did she draw this?

I had set the expectation bar abysmally low, prepared to be disappointed at any moment. As it was, voicing it would only be disrespectful so I simply accepted the file she had given.

Depicted was a girl, from head-to-toe, top-to-bottom. Wearing a sailor uniform, matching those of our school. The overall image was…how should I put it. Remarkable. The paper had its fair share of erasure and redraw, too much, in fact. Even in a single glance I could tell this drawing had been thoroughly erased and redrawn, a lot. Traces of the previous drawing were overlapping with each other, giving the final result a shade of tremendous effort.

Her eyes, gentle as a caring mother, from what seemed to be a hollow uneven circle. Her hair, each strand delicately drawn flowing seamlessly, borne from a rough, simple geometric convex shape. Her hands, fingers drawn intricate after a shadow of stubby mushroom with five head. Uniform. Skirt. Legs. Everything was drawn after many trial and error.

It was me.

A surge of emotion well up inside me. Indescribable mix of joy, delight, and relief. Tsuyu had drawn me, this much, for how long? How many redraw had she done? What purpose did this drawing entail?

I had lowered the drawing, and my view was replaced by a figure of a lone girl. Standing upright, slightly trembling. Hair not as short as it was in 6th-Grade, but still you could pass it as pretty boyish. My eyes were completely enamored by the look on her face, and I could only bet she was completely enamored by mine too. I was not stupid enough to think of her blushing as mere tricks of the sunset.

“I remember you said you’d draw me a long time ago. It was two years ago.”

“I did.”

“Then this drawing—this paper had been drawn since then?”

“Yes.”

“I never saw you draw this during our time together.”

“Because I’m not doing it in front of you.”

“…How did you manage to draw without looking at me?”

All my questions had been rhetorical. Downright nonsensical, even. I could infer the answer easily, but the fact remained that I needed confirmation from Tsuyu—I had to ask them. Perhaps as a result from an increase in my palpitations. The fast, beating-heart not only churn out blood flowing through my vein at a faster rate, carried with it also thoughts of varying degree.

“…I‘ve been watching you all this time. I ingrained your look, in my mind, everyday. When no one is watching, I tried to recall your image and draw it out on that canvas. I was struggling at first, even I considered to give up after the first try—knowing you were the one who said I need to improve my skills before I could even draw you. But I kept trying, drawing a different version of you each day better than the previous one.

As time flies, I realized my eyes followed you everywhere. I began to notice the minute details. Your actions, your voice, your words. I wasn’t simply looking at your appearance, and it helped me depict you even better in such an unexpected way. Yet, I could never bring myself to feel satisfied with the result. Because the very next day, I found something new from looking at you.

You are mesmerizing.

Every day you seem to dazzle even brighter than the previous day. I knew I had to redraw everything all over when I saw you. And I knew my eyes will be occupied by you for the next day. It never ceased, the cycle never stopped. For 1035 days.

That was the time it took for me to realize this feeling.”

Tears began trickling down my face without obstruction. Tsuyu uttered every sentence punctually, with window in-between just enough to confer the meaning and prepare for the next one.

Tsuyu was a quiet, but vehement girl. But to me, she was simply vehement and no longer quiet. At least, she tried not to. And that made me happy, more than anything else. This warmth, was it because I’m relieved Tsuyu have been paying attention to me? Did these tears bore the same emotion as Tsuyu during our Grade School graduation?

“I like you.”

An unfathomable amount of happiness. Too much. that I couldn’t contain. My heart beats even louder, almost seemingly painful. At one point, my vision blurred. Tsuyu was there, but I couldn’t see her. It’s painful. Perhaps the tears were blocking my vision. Well, no matter. I should give Tsuyu my reply. Immediately. If not, something bad would happen.

I like you too’, but before I could mutter those words, my legs gave out and I collapsed in front of Tsuyu.


High school was a bliss hidden in disguise, blanketed over death threat. Perhaps it’s more appropriate to call it hypocrisy.

Tsuyu had opened up to me, to say the least. She showered me with affection, and I replied in kind. It didn’t occur to me as a problem not knowing what our relationship was. Tsuyu must have noticed it too, but didn’t pursue it any further, As long as we conveyed our feelings mutually, happiness followed.

To tell the truth, I had a vague idea about SDID during early high school—that something wasn’t right with my body. The connection was simple. The more time I spent with Tsuyu, the weaker my constitution came to be. I suppose it was not an exaggeration that I fell into a comatose state for a few days because Tsuyu confessed to me back then.

But the connection was just absurd. For the first time I delve deep in thought, trying to find conjecture that fitted what was happening with the connection I made. Deep down, I understood my brain was simply averting the worst outcome—the one it had not desired, that’s why I kept using the alibi.

The happier I get, the weaker I am.

It sounded straight silly. Outrageous, even. Simple as I was, back then I stubbornly believed the only way out from this miserable line of thought was to become happy. Forget about the unnecessary worry, and instead bask myself in happiness while I still can.

Tsuyu would not be pleased either, if I told her about my conjecture. I had worried she would blame herself for putting my life on the line, just for her sake.

Eventually, the Doctor figured it out. The truth came to light one day. It wasn’t like flickering candle in a dark room as much as shining a 1000 lumen flashlight in front of me. The truth blinded me without any reservation, shoving reality onto my eyes despite my hardest attempt to avert my gaze.

To put it bluntly, it was an episode of depression.

Ironic how those days were the only way to prolong my lifespan. Thinking back on it only made me feel even worse, nauseating my stomach. I couldn’t eat, taste, nor feel. Hollowness enveloped my entire being. At that rate, I would die faster from malnutrition than the irrational disorder I exclusively suffer.

‘Let’s take a walk.’ It took only a moment for Tsuyu to drag me out of my depressive episode. I couldn’t believe how easy it was for me to be happy just from seeing her standing in my room. Relishing in guilt of feeling such emotion would mean we have less time together. I had cried in silence.

It…rained on that day. Drizzles of lightweight raindrops.

We took a walk. My first one after several days of shutting myself off from the outside world. ‘Use the other hand,’ I selfishly told Tsuyu, so her right hand would be available. She obeyed, without hesitation. I took hold of her right with my left, our fingers intertwining. The grip was very tight, it probably left a mark on her hand. Yet I couldn’t care less. I had one, and only one thought—that was to seek the warmth which only Tsuyu could ever provide. The warmth she left me with ever since our first meeting. I had light clothing and my right shoulder was damp.

But it’s not cold.

Tsuyu was warm.


Tsuyu brought me back to life. It might be an exaggeration, but I felt grateful for her all the same. To put it in layman terms, I would be willing to die for her. Meaning I chose happiness over sorrow. It wasn’t like I’m putting the SDID on back burner, but it definitely dropped down in my list of worries. If I have to choose between spending my life in eternal sorrow or a short-lived relationship with Tsuyu, I’ll choose the latter without a doubt.

And that was exactly what transpired for the past few weeks. Tsuyu suddenly became attentive and gentler than ever after the day we walked under the same umbrellla. Perhaps we were both worried the whole affair will happen again, so we refrained from confessing each other. This time, it might not just end with comatose. I might die. Tsuyu must have noticed this.

I decided not to tell Tsuyu about the disorder. Since I was a poor actor, Tsuyu probably already picked up everything from the moment she confessed. But she never pushed the matter, not even once.

During these melancholic days, we had spent more time together than ever, even in school. Such as wasting our lunch break on the rooftop, contemplating and exchanging whatever came to our mind while gazing at the sky. We kept at it, even if it’s Winter right now. I didn’t mind the cold, of course, because I wore the gloves Tsuyu gave me.

“The broadcast said it won’t snow for another week.”, Tsuyu said, the clouds above moving about. A small sigh escaped her mouth, forming a patch of white cloud as she breathe.

“Can I, be honest with you?”, Tsuyu knitted her brow, her face visibly shaken and unnerved. Truthfully, I wanted to tell Tsuyu about the disorder, but I couldn’t bear the pain of knowing she would blame herself for my death. It’s Tsuyu. I knew she would. The last thing I wanted was Tsuyu killing herself in order to follow me. The frightening thing was that she might do just that. If at all, I just wanted Tsuyu to live on happily in my stead, as someone who was not born to be happy.

“No, you can’t,” I replied curtly, “But, know that I also wanted to be honest with you all this time, okay?” After all, I was torn apart at the possible outcome. If Tsuyu was reluctant and decided to left me for good, that would torment me for eternity. Knowing Tsuyu though, she probably would accept the reality wholeheartedly and strive to be by my side until the end. I’m worried I’d be too happy hearing her reply and just die on the spot. It’s hilarious imagining Tsuyu’s response to my abrupt death, but I’d be dead before I even know it.

Huh, apparently I was already at the point where I could joke about my own demise. Maybe I was not as reluctant to die as I initially thought.

“Then, let’s end this.”

My heart skipped a beat. It felt like something plunged deep inside my heart. What did she meant by ‘end’?

“Something have been weighing on your mind, but you never tell me about it. No…I believe, you cannot tell me about it. In that case, the only thing I could do to help is to forget about it.”

Tsuyu stood up, her face strained into a forced smile.

“I know that, but I just can’t. I cannot simply forget about you. And all the scenarios that I envision didn’t help the lhe least bit.”

She was on the verge of tears.

“I’m scared. I don’t know what to do because I have no idea what you’re going through.”

It eventually builds up, and the dam overflowed.

I had no idea Tsuyu was in this much pain. I was being selfish all this time, and Tsuyu had to bear with the uncertainty and anxiety as a consequence. She might have fret that I turned out this way because of her. Everyday, ever since the day she confessed to me.

I never gave her an actual reply.

Not to say I didn’t have any. Closer to I couldn’t put it into words.

And her trepidation probably peaked when I went absent for days after I knew about the condition. I shut myself alone without considering Tsuyu’s feelings. It must have took her a considerable amount of courage to enter my room that day. I remember her hand trembled along the way when we walked under the umbrella.

Right, Tsuyu is also in pain.

And that’s because of me trying to avoid pain.

“December 25th,” I interjected, “I promise I will tell you everything on that day.”

I decided to tell Tsuyu everything. My condition. My feelings. And perhaps my end. But I need time to arrange my words carefully, so I had to postpone it until Christmas, when school is over.

If I tell her everything at that moment, I was afraid her determination would waver. She was already a step ahead by willing to forget about me. It was a step in the right direction, and I didn’t want to deter her conviction. My own determination might waver if I saw her broke down in tears right then and there, too.

“So let’s minimize contact until then, alright?” It was December 1st, so we had a considerable amount of time before the promised day. Honestly, it was probably my silly idea at work to choose December 25th, but I also didn’t want to bother Tsuyu with end-of-term exams and whatnot. She had a long life ahead, after all.

“…Then let me do one last thing.”

Hm? It was rare for Tsuyu to ask for permission. Come to think of it, Tsuyu never asked me for a favor, not even when she had to persuade her parents for letting her enter a public high school.

I was the one who wanted her to forget about me, either way. One last favor to entertain her might be okay. Free of charge. My farewell gift, since I won’t be able to give her anymore.

“Sure.”

Tsuyu, startled at my response, briskly walked over to me. Her arms reached out and I prepared myself, probably a final embrace before we part. I needed to calm my heart and stay still, assuming the worst might happen at any time if I ever felt too much happy. Because whatever Tsuyu did, it will undoubtedly make me happy. Her hand landed on both my shoulder, as she pull her face close to mine—

—and kissed me.

My heart beats loudly. It struck a pain in my chest with each beat. The kiss went on for a long winding 30-seconds or so. At which point I had to remain still.

Oh, this is bad. I couldn’t contain how happy I am right now.

Tsuyu finally took a step back, and ran over to the school building. Leaving me alone, dazed at what just happened.

Good thing I didn’t fall unconscious this time.

My knees though, gave out either way. And I just realized I was grinning from ear-to-ear. Good grief. She just made it harder for me to continue living.

The very next day, I had a huge case of fever and was hospitalized. Then the Doctor told me I only have one month left to live.


How long has it been?

Honestly, there was not much point in counting it down. Even in the face of death, I still sought happiness by reminiscing what little memories I held dear—the short life I experienced.

I am bedridden.

All of my hair have turned completely white. My skin is pale as a corpse. Even moving an inch became an arduous task to overcome.

Lethargic. That’s what it boils down to. I am very, very tired. Maintaining my consciousness felt like a tiresome burden.

Terrified. My heart is not prepared. I couldn’t close my eyes despite desperately wanting to do so. I feared if I close my eyes, that would be the end of me. The last I saw life. Ended right then and there, alone.

I couldn’t keep the promise after all, Tsuyu.

I wished I had written down a letter. Anything that could convey this love I had to return. I want at least Tsuyu…I want Tsuyu to know how I feel. But I couldn’t move. let alone write.

I want to sleep. I don’t want to die. I wish Tsuyu was beside me.

The sunset…the afterglow. I wonder if Tsuyu is heading back home from school. How did she fare in school without me? She must be fine, though. She could put up a facade for a long time.

“Ah…”, now that I recall, “it’s the last day.”

Christmas Eve. Tomorrow is the promised day. I promised to explain everything and lay my feelings bare on that day. I defnitely have to tell her.

Perhaps the Doctor was being considerate. Perhaps one month was the best case scenario. Things just don’t go the way you expected. He told me it was according to my condition at that time, after all. Apparently the reaper had his scythe on my neck closer than I ever imagined.

“Then, let me grant your wish.”

A shadow of a person was casted on me. The sunset was very bright and I couldn’t make out whoever was standing next to me. How did he manage to enter the room in the first place? I must have noticed when the door was opened, because it was right at the other end of this person.

“Who…are you?”, I let out the faintest of voice, doubting the person could hear.

“An apparition. A spirit. Ghost. I have been called by a lot of terms, feel free to call me with whatever you like.”

“Why…”, are you here?

“You don’t have to voice it out loud. I can hear your inner voice just as fine.”

Ah, I see. That’s convenient.

“As for why am I here, truth be told, I have but a vague idea myself.”

A figment of my imagination, then?

“It might be closer to what your kin would consider as ‘supernatural’.”

Huh. I’m not particularly fond of the term myself. I won’t be satisfied with anything without any sort of plausible explanation.

“Even if your disease was a part of it?”

SDID have some plausible explanation which I could come to term with. I won’t go as far as supernatural, though I agree being the only person suffering from it is…unnatural.

“Then that just means your kin have not yet reached the capability to explain my existence as plausible.”

Heh…and I wouldn’t live to see the day.

“True, and that’s why I’m here.”

What are you, Santa?

“Sometimes, kids call me just that. I have but one purpose everytime I materialize, and that was to grant an offering of consolation to those nearing their end.”

Everyone?

“Not everyone.”

Am I special, then?

“You can call it that way.”

Then you can grant any wish?

“With a corresponding value of setback, technically yes.”

Truly? Then what would be the consequence of me wishing the end of the world?

“…That’s something your kin better off not knowing.”

Haha, I’m joking. It’s just in my nature to be inquisitive, forgive me. If you can read my mind, then you have at least an idea what I wished for, right?

“True. I was simply guiding you to accept that wish.”

Then, I wish to fulfill my promise to Tsuyu. Let me live until tomorrow.

“Very well.”

…I thought prolonging my life was out of question?

“There’s still uncertainty in your demise. But with your wish, that could be altered so your immediate future is certain.”

Which means I might die today, but this way I could certain I will not die today.

“If you prefer it that way.”

Then, what would the consequence be?

“Tsuyu will forget about you.”

…What a very convenient development. Wait, does that mean she would not appear tomorrow?

“That would depend on her answer.”

Ah. So Tsuyu also have a part in this, after all?

“As a consequence of your wish.”

…I see. May I entrust you to convey a message to her, then?

“I’m afraid I could not.”

Well. It won’t hurt to try. Would you please convey to her, ‘I like you too’, before she forgets me? If she would eventually forget about me, then there should be no problem.

“…No. That is something you have to convey yourself.”

No negotiation, then. Does this mean I could close my eyes without worry?

“Yes. Take a good sleep for now.”

Thanks. I’m tired myself. I just…want to end this, as soon as possible.

Ah. I can’t wait tomorrow to come. Wait, could I even move from the bed? Will I even be able to walk over to school? I should’ve wished for it before he left. Just as the questions emerged, exhaustion washed over me and my eyes closed shut naturally.

Empat Musim

Entry Writchal #2
Tema: High school romance


[Empat Musim]

# Musim hujan, 13 Oktober 2016.

Kelas sudah berakhir. Hari ini ditutup dengan pelajaran sejarah yang begitu membosankan. Aku bersiap memasukkan buku-buku milikku kembali ke laci meja. Bukan, bukan ke dalam tas. Aku tak serajin itu untuk membawa kembali buku-buku yang berat ini ke rumah. Toh, di laci meja biasanya aman-aman saja. Tasku juga sudah berat karena terisi oleh laptop.
Seperti biasa, aku mampir dahulu ke lab fisika, ruangan yang biasa kami gunakan untuk aktivitas ekskulku. Entah membahas lomba yang akan diikuti atau sekadar bermain DoTA bersama.

“Oit, sol. Dota yuk”, panggilku kepada Faishol, temanku di ekskul.
“Ayok. Gue beli mie dulu tapi ya di kantin. Laper cuy”
“Selow”

Faishol kemudian meninggalkanku untuk pergi ke kantin. Kini, di ruangan hanya ada aku dan Tiara. Seperti halnya dengan beberapa hari sebelumnya, Tiara masih sibuk mengetik laporan. Earphone terpasang di telinganya, melantunkan suara Axl Rose sembari Tiara terpaku menggubah kata-kata pada piranti lunak Microsoft Word. Aku pun turut membuka laptopku. Kucolokkan catu daya laptopku di stop kontak lab, dekat dengan meja Tiara.

“Eh, Ardian”
Tiara memanggilku.
“Kenapa ra?”
“Lu bisa bantuin gue ga? Ini buat laporan kegiatan yang lomba kemarin, foto-fotonya ada di lu kan?”
“Iya, ini di laptop. Mau gue kirimin?”
“Boleh-boleh. Nih flashdisk gue. Foto yang booth nampilin alatnya ada juga kan?”
“Ada kok, kemarin malam udah gue sortir”
“Wis mantap, kopiin semua ya”
“Oke”

Saat aku sedang menyalin file yang diminta Tiara, Faishol kembali. Di tangan kanannya, sepiring mie tek-tek. Di tangan kirinya, segelas es teh manis. Entah bagaimana ia membawanya dari kantin tanpa tumpah.

“Ian, jadi ngedota?”
“Jadi lah. Lu makan dulu aja sana, gue lagi ngopiin foto-foto lomba kemaren”
“Oh iya, itu lomba yang ikut siapa aja deh?”
“Gue, Tiara, sama Kak Dito. Yah, sama ibunya Tiara juga sih yang bawa mobilnya”
“Oalah… Mantap lah, juara 3 walaupun cuma persiapan lima hari”
“Yoi. Kak Dito hard carry sih, hahaha”

Kak Dito adalah pelatih kami. Ia alumni ekskul kami yang saat ini berkuliah di universitas yang tak jauh dari sini. Tak jarang ia mengizinkan kami untuk ikut dengannya untuk membuat alat di workshopnya. Alat yang kami gunakan untuk lomba itu juga dibuat di workshopnya. Untungnya Ibu Tiara cukup pengertian, walaupun saat itu kami setiap hari pulang di atas jam sebelas malam untuk mengejar deadline. Bertiga di workshop ditemani alunan musik dari Prambors (dan terkadang juga dari koleksi kaset yang ditinggal di workshop) serta segelas kopi yang sangat pekat.

“Tiara, nih flashdisknya”
“Sip, makasih ya. Eh, lu habis ini mau ngapain?”
“Ngedota sama Faishol, kenapa?”
“Bukan, maksudnya habis ngedota”
“Oh… Gabut sih”
“Temenin gw beresin laporan dong. Malam ini mesti beres nih”
“Boleh, boleh. Mau di mana?”
“Kalau di lab, jam lima biasanya sudah diusir sih. Lu bawa motor kan? McD yuk.”
“Bawa sih, tapi helmnya cuma satu”
“Alah, deket ini. Selow lah”
“Yaudah, yuk”

Aku dan Faishol kemudian asik bermain DoTA bersama. Seperti biasa, lepas jam lima sore pintu lab digedor oleh satpam.

*TOK TOK TOK*
“Hei, pulang! Sudah sore! Pulang!”
“Siap pak, sebentar!”, saut Faishol yang segera mematikan laptopnya.

Aku dan Tiara bergegas pergi ke parkiran sementara Faishol berpisah untuk berjalan ke halte. Tak lama, kami akhirnya sampai di McD. Tidak jauh, hanya sekitar lima menit berkendara melalui jalan lurus. Apalagi jalanannya juga biasanya tidak terlalu ramai. Aku pergi memesan makan sembari Tiara duduk, menjaga meja.

“Eh ra, udah laper? Mau pesan apa?”
“Belum sih. Apple pie sama kopi hitam panas aja”
“Gue beliin nugget sekalian untuk makan bareng ya?”
“Okei, makasih Adrian!”

Sekembalinya dari kasir, Tiara sudah siap dengan laptopnya. Kebetulan tempat yang kami dapatkan dekat dengan stop kontak. Aku ikut mengeluarkan laptopku. Tiara memberiku salinan laporannya dan memintaku menyelesaikan bagian pertanggungjawaban dana. Cerdas ia, memberikan bagian yang paling membuat kepala pusing padaku. Alasannya, karena aku yang memegang bon pembelian bahan pembuatan. Yah, tidak terlalu masalah juga sih bagiku. Karena dari sebelum lomba selesai aku sudah membuat rangkuman pengeluarannya. Justru, pekerjaan administratif begini biasanya menjadi bagianku. Ketika perakitan, Tiara asik dengan las dan solder, sementara aku yang membeli bahan dan merekapnya. Kebetulan, di dekat kampus Kak Dito banyak toko yang menjual bahan-bahan yang diperlukan. Tinggal bagaimana aku kucing-kucingan dengan polisi yang biasa merazia di jalan utama saja. Akibatnya, aku jadi hafal berbagai jalan alternatif. Aku hafal di mana saja polisi biasa merazia dan menyusun strategi agar aku tidak melewati kawasan tersebut.

Jam setengah dua belas malam. Akhirnya laporan berhasil kami selesaikan. Tinggal besok pagi diprint untuk diserahkan ke tata usaha sekolah. Kami bergegas pergi, tetapi rupanya hujan turun. Kami tidak sadar karena terlalu asik dengan laptop kami. Hujan tidak terlalu deras, tetapi cukup untuk membuat jalanan licin.

“Adrian, kamu ada jas hujan kah?”
“Ada, tapi cuma satu. Angkot ke arah rumahmu jam segini sudah tidak ada ya? Pakai bareng-bareng aja lah ini hahaha”
“Iya, udah ga ada jam segini mah. Gapapa deh, daripada kehujanan”

Tiara duduk di belakangku sembari kami menerobos jalanan yang gelap dan licin. Ranselku kupanggul di depan, agar Tiara bisa masuk ke dalam jas hujanku yang agak kebesaran. Sepanjang jalan, kami menceritakan tentang betapa hecticnya persiapan lomba kemarin. Tiara juga meledekku karena sempat lupa membawa jaket sekolah, sehingga meminjam jaket milik Kak Dito yang untungnya dibawa. Aku membalas dengan tawa saja. Memang saat itu aku benar-benar ceroboh.

# Musim hujan, 27 November 2016.

Penilaian akhir semester sudah dekat. Seperti biasa, anak-anak ekskulku berkumpul untuk belajar bersama. Sembari kedok untuk nongkrong juga sih. Salah satu temanku, Irfan, sudah terbiasa meminjamkan rumahnya untuk tempat kami berkumpul. Bisa dibilang, ekskul kami mempunyai empat markas. Pertama, tentunya ruang lab di sekolah. Kedua, workshop Kak Dito. Ketiga, rumah Irfan. Keempat, McD dekat sekolah yang biasa kami gunakan untuk pelarian ketika kami sudah diusir oleh satpam sekolah. Walaupun dibilang belajar bersama, tetapi Faishol dan Agas malah asik bermain PS di ruang tamu Irfan. Lidya dan Kevin, anggota ekskul kami juga, turut asik menonton. Kevin bahkan sepertinya gatal sekali melihat permainan Agas dan terus meledeknya. Sisa kami bertiga; Irfan, aku, dan Tiara yang masih serius untuk berlatih soal di kamar Irfan.

“Bu Nia suka ngasih soal aneh-aneh dah kalau ujian”, ucapku.
“Iya, emang. Makannya, kita pakai buku ini aja”, Irfan menimpali sambil menunjukkan sebuah buku di tangannya. Buku itu, tak lain dan tak bukan, adalah kitab suci Fisika Dasar Halliday-Resnick.

Sudah menjadi rahasia umum kalau Bu Nia, guru fisika kami, suka mencomot soal dari buku Halliday dan memodifikasinya menjadi pilihan ganda untuk menjadi soal ujian. Bahkan, pernah pula ia mengambil soal olimpiade untuk menjadi PR. Bagi yang suka dengan fisika, hal tersebut menjadi tantangan yang menarik. Namun, bagi yang tidak, hal ini menjadi sumber frustrasi. Dalam hal fisika, Irfan benar-benar monster. Baginya, soal-soal titik tiga di Halliday (yakni, penanda soal-soal sulit) bagaikan kudapan yang siap untuk ia habiskan. Sementara aku, melihat soal titik dua saja sudah pusing setengah mati.

“Fan, soal yang ini gimana deh gambar diagram bebasnya?”
“Oh ini, ini kan tinggal uraikan torsi yang di sini, lalu lakukan hal yang sama juga untuk silinder yang di atas, dapet deh…”
“Oh iya ya, makasih ya”

“Fan, ajarin gue juga dong yang ini!”
“Selow… tidak usah panik, tidak usah khawatir. Tunggu bentar ya, gue belum pernah kerjain yang ini”

Tiara pun sama denganku. Melihat soal-soal di Halliday ibarat melihat teka-teki dari alien. Walaupun ia tertarik dengan rekayasa, ia lebih suka bekerja turun tangan di workshop dibanding melakukan hitung-hitungan teoretis.

“Gimana kamu, ra. Masa tahu ngelas tapi nggak tahu cara ngitungnya biar bendanya stabil”, ledekku.
“Hei, ngaca kamu ya. Lagian, kan enak kalau sudah ada yang ngerjain hitungannya. Sisanya biar aku yang kerjain hahaha”
“Taruhan yuk, siapa yang nilai fisikanya nanti lebih tinggi harus traktir”
“Siapa takut? Lanjut belajar gih, jangan ngiler dulu mau ditraktir apa”
“Hehehe, tahu aja kamu kalau aku yang bakal menang”
“Lihat aja nanti, jangan menghayal dulu sekarang.”

Tiara menjulurkan lidahnya, meledekku. Itulah kesalahan terakhirnya. Aku suka dengan tantangan dan aku tidak akan kalah. Aku kemudian melanjutkan melumat soal-soal di Halliday.

# Musim hujan, 7 Desember 2016.

Aku suka dengan tantangan. Aku suka dengan tantangan dan aku tidak akan kalah.
Atau setidaknya, begitulah yang kupikirkan.

Aku dan Tiara segera berlari ke arah mading ketika kami melihat Bu Nia menempelkan pengumuman nilai ujian.

XII IPA 2. Nomor absen 3. Adrian Kuwanto. 85.

“Hm, tidak buruk. Setidaknya sedikit peningkatan dari penilaian tengah semester”

Penasaran, kucari nilai Irfan.

XII IPA 2. Nomor absen 11. Irfan Hasanuddin. 92,5.

“Yah, wajar lah. Irfan memang jago kalau fisika”

Selanjutnya, aku beralih ke halaman kelas Tiara.

XII IPA 3. Nomor absen 25. Tiara Putri Alfianti. 95. Nilai tertinggi di seluruh angkatan kelas XII IPA.

Tiara berteriak ke arahku.

“YAAAAYYYYYY ASIK DITRAKTIR ADRIAN!!!”
“Gila, kok bisa segitu nilaimu. Habis minum jamu apa kamu?”
“Hehe, bisa dong. Jago gue mah. Ini yang terjadi ketika gue pakai 100% otak gue”
“Irfan kalah, lho. Jago emang”
“Demi ditraktir, tentu gue bakal menang!”
“Iya deh, iya. Mau apa?”
“Sushi!”
“Hah, di mana?”
“Itu di dekat stasiun kemarin gue nemu resto sushi yang katanya enak. Ke situ yuk!”
“Mau hari apa? Gue minggu ini sibuk sih, sabtu depan mau?”
“Boleh… nanti kita kontakan lagi via LINE ya”
“Okei!”

# Musim hujan, 16 Desember 2016.

Potongan transkrip pembicaraan LINE
[Adrian, 17:22] Ra, besok jadi?
[Tiara, 17:25] Jadi kok… Nih, gue send location ya
[Tiara, 17:26] (Shared location)
[Tiara, 17:26] Nanti kita ketemuan aja di stasiun jam 10, oke?
[Adrian, 17:33] Ok!
[Adrian, 17:33] (Stiker)
[Tiara, 17:41] Eh iya, di dekat sana ada toko buku juga
[Tiara, 17:41] habis makan gue mau lihat-lihat beberapa buku di sana
[Tiara, 17:41] temenin gue dong
[Adrian, 17:42] Buku apaan? Gue gabut sih seharian
[Tiara, 17:42] Bukunya Nietzsche, yang Zarathustra
[Adrian, 17:44] Buset, berat amat bacaan lu. Gue baca Birth of Tragedy aja puyeng
[Adrian, 17:44] (Stiker)
[Tiara, 17:46] Lah justru gara-gara gue pinjem buku lu yang itu jadi tertarik wkwkwk
[Tiara, 17:46] Pokoknya lu besok temenin gue ya abis itu
[Adrian, 17:47] Selow lah. Gue juga kayaknya mau lihat2
[Tiara, 17:51] Oke, makasih adrian!!!
[Adrian, 18:42] (Photo)
[Adrian, 18:42] Kehujanan, baru balik dari workshopnya kak dito. Untung ada ocha panas di rumah
[Tiara, 18:49] (Sticker)
[Tiara, 18:49] Ihh mau!!
[Tiara, 18:49] Lu abis ngapain di workshop tadi?
[Adrian, 18:52] Besok juga ada kan di sana
[Adrian, 18:52] Sabar lah wkwkwk
[Adrian, 18:52] Tadi kebetulan ketemu kak dito di McD, lanjut diajak ngobrol2 aja di workshop
[Tiara, 18:55] Iya makannyaaaaaa
[Tiara, 18:55] Besok jam 10 jangan telat lu ya
[Tiara, 18:55] (Sticker)
[Adrian, 19:16] (Sticker)
[Adrian, 19:16] Siap ibu negara!
[Adrian, 19:16] Sori baru bales, mandi dulu tadi
[Tiara, 19:20] (Sticker)

# Musim hujan, 17 Desember 2016

Aku menunggu di peron stasiun. Masih lima belas menit menuju pukul sepuluh. Seperti biasa, aku datang lebih cepat dari jam yang dijanjikan. Aku tahu betul bahwa Tiara tidak suka menunggu orang yang telat, makannya aku memilih datang lebih awal.

“Heiii, sudah sampai lu ternyata”

Dari belakang, kulihat Tiara menyapa. Sejak kapan?

“Eh, sudah lama lu?”
“Nggak sih, baru sampai juga”
“Jangan-jangan tadi kita satu kereta, haha”
“Hahaha, bisa jadi sih”
“Yaudah yuk, langsung jalan”
“Yuk!”

Resto yang kami tuju memang tidak jauh dari stasiun. Hanya berjalan sekitar sepuluh menit dan kami pun tiba. Walau udara dan polusi kota ini cukup membuat mukaku berkeringat, sih. Kebetulannya, aku dan Tiara menggunakan pakaian yang matching. Aku dengan kemeja flanel pola biru-putih dipadukan dengan celana jeans dan Tiara dengan kaos biru dipadu dengan cardigan putih dan ripped jeans.

“Eh iya, pakaian kita matching lho, ra”
“Loh iya ya hahaha, padahal ga janjian”
“Ini ikat pinggang yang kupakai juga hadiah dari lu waktu itu”
“Wah, terawat dengan baik. Bagus, bagus”

Tentu saja Tiara memilih resto ini karena AYCE. Kami beradu siapa yang paling kuat menghabiskan sushinya. Aku suka dengan tantangan. Aku suka dengan tantangan dan tidak akan kalah.

“Ra, masih kuat? Gue mau nambah lagi nih”
“Udah berapa piring sih ini lu tadi ngambilnya?”
“Gue udah abis 19, lu baru 17 nih. Masih kuat?”
“Buset. Enek gue cuy. Lu kalau mau nambah ambil aja lagi”
“Kebanyakan ocha sih lu ya”
“Ya maaf”

Akhirnya, aku menang. Dua puluh lawan tujuh belas. Seperti kubilang, aku tidak akan kalah.

“Yay, sekarang gue yang menang!”
“Ya kita ke sini juga gara-gara kemarin lu kalah sih”
“Yang penting sekarang gue menang, hahaha”
“Iya deh iya…”
“Lanjut mau ke toko buku?”
“Yuk”

Setelah seharian kami puas berkeliling toko buku, kami berjalan kembali ke stasiun. Tiara turun terlebih dahulu sementara aku masih melanjutkan perjalanan beberapa stasiun lagi. Lelah, tetapi menyenangkan.

[Tiara, 19:21] Akhirnya sampai rumah. Lu udah sampai?
[Adrian, 19:47] Sudah. Agak lama, tadi mampir warung dulu beli kopi
[Adrian, 19:47] sempat gerimis sedikit, tapi terobos aja lah wkwk
[Tiara, 19:50] Syukurlah…
[Tiara, 19:52] (Photo)
[Tiara, 19:52] (Photo)
[Tiara, 19:52] (Photo)
[Tiara, 19:52] (Photo)
[Tiara, 19:52] (Photo)
[Tiara, 19:52] (Photo)
[Tiara, 19:52] (Photo)
[Tiara, 19:52] (Photo)
[Tiara, 19:52] Ini foto kita berdua tadi wkwk
[Adrian, 19:56] (Photo)
[Adrian, 19:56] (Photo)
[Adrian, 19:56] (Photo)
[Adrian, 19:56] dan ini foto lu tepar kekenyangan
[Adrian, 19:56] (Sticker)
[Tiara, 20:00] Ihh malah itu yang diambil
[Tiara, 20:00] Posenya lagi nggak estetik
[Adrian, 20:03] Gapapa, yang penting foto yang berdua posenya estetik
[Adrian, 20:03] (Sticker)
[Tiara, 20:07] (Sticker)
[Tiara, 20:07] Makasih ya udah nemenin hari ini!!!
[Tiara, 20:07] (Sticker)
[Tiara, 20:07] (Sticker)
[Adrian, 20:08] Kapan-kapan lagi lah wkwk
[Adrian, 20:08] (Sticker)
[Tiara, 20:13] Traktir lagi? Boleh bangettt!!
[Adrian, 20:14] Jalan lagi, maksudnya
[Adrian, 20:14] Yah sesekali gapapa lah gue bayarin
[Adrian, 20:14] (Sticker)
[Tiara, 20:18] Hahaha, seloww

# Musim hujan, 31 Desember 2016 – 1 Januari 2017

Seperti biasa, kami nongkrong lagi di rumah Irfan. Namun, kali ini hanya ada aku, Irfan, Tiara, dan Kevin. Irfan menyiapkan panggangan sate untuk perayaan malam tahun baru. Aku dan Tiara kebagian menjadi divisi logistik. Dengan kata lain, kami yang menjadi tumbal untuk disuruh belanja. Kevin sedang menyiapkan ide gilanya. Bukannya kembang api seperti halnya orang waras pada umumnya, Kevin merakit flamethrower dari kaleng butane (yang biasa untuk bahan bakar kompor portabel) yang ditekan dengan tembakan lem silikon. Idenya, kaleng tersebut ditekan untuk mengeluarkan gasnya, lalu ujungnya dipantik dengan sumber api. Kevin, dengan otaknya yang agak sedikit miring, mengetesnya untuk menyalakan panggangan sate. Tentu ia tak lepas dari teriakan Irfan. Kevin, dengan otaknya yang agak sedikit miring, malah berlari sembari tertawa dan memainkan flamethrower rakitannya. Aku tidak terlalu peduli. Yah, setidaknya selama tidak ada yang meledak atau terbakar sih.

Malam tahun baru ini cerah. Untungnya. Aku dan Tiara membeli berbagai macam daging. Karena Kevin seorang vegan, kami membelikan jamur dan sayuran juga untuknya. Aku, Irfan, dan Tiara berpesta dengan sate ayam dan sate kambing, sedangkan Kevin malah memasak sup jamur. Sayangnya kali ini Agas tidak hadir, padahal biasanya ialah penyumbang terbanyak untuk makanan.

“Ra, mau banyak-banyakan makan lagi? Hahaha”
“Ih nggak ah, lu makannya kuat banget gitu”
“Kali aja mau balas dendam gitu kan”, wajahku meledek Tiara
“Cukup deh cukup”

“Kalian berdua makannya sama-sama banyak lho. Ga salah emang nyuruh kalian berdua yang belanja. Kan kalian juga yang ngabisin, hahaha”
Kevin tiba-tiba menimpali.
“Ih si Adrian aja tuh. Waktu itu gue berdua makan sushi AYCE sama dia, masa dia abis 20 porsi”
“Hei, ingat juga lu habis berapa heiiii”
“Gapapa, bagus buat pertumbuhan hahaha”

Kami berempat tertawa saja mendengarnya.

Sembari menghitung detik-detik tahun baru, Kevin memainkan flamethrowernya lagi. Setiap hitung mundur, flamethrowernya dinyalakan.

“Tiga!”
“Dua!”
“Satu!”
“Selamat tahun baru!!!”

Aku, Irfan, dan Tiara berteriak sembari Kevin semakin heboh dengan flamethrowernya. Namun, aku sudah berjanji dengan Ibu Tiara untuk mengantarkan Tiara pulang sebelum pukul satu pagi. Setelah mengambil satu tusuk sate lagi, Tiara langsung mengajakku pergi. Kami berdua berpamitan dengan Irfan dan Kevin.

“Bye guys!”
“Gue cabut dulu bentar ya”

Berbeda dengan Tiara, aku tidak punya rencana lain lagi malam ini. Kedua orangtuaku sedang berlibur di Tokyo tanpa mengajakku. Jadilah aku sendiri di rumah. Oleh karena itu, setelah mengantar Tiara aku kembali ke rumah Irfan.

# Musim hujan, 1 Februari 2017

[Tiara, 15:47] Adrian, gue denger dari irfan katanya lu tadi pulang duluan ya? Kenapa lu?
[Adrian, 17:11] Uhh…
[Adrian, 17:11] Tadi jam 10 pas pelajaran olahraga gue pingsan
[Adrian, 17:11] Salah gue juga sih semalam ga tidur, pagi sekip sarapan juga wkwk
[Adrian, 17:11] Eh tadi pas olahraga malah tes endurance, mana panas banget pula
[Adrian, 17:11] Tepar deh
[Adrian, 17:12] Pak Tigor nyuruh gue pulang aja, katanya dia liat gue seharian lemes terus mukanya wkwk
[Tiara, 17:17] Waduh
[Tiara, 17:17] GWS, ian
[Tiara, 17:17] (Sticker)
[Adrian, 17:23] Thanks, ra
[Tiara, 17:25] Sekarang lu gimana, udah enakan?
[Adrian, 17:29] Udah sempat tidur sih tadi. Sebentar aja tapi
[Adrian, 17:29] Kepala gue masih muter banget rasanya
[Adrian, 17:29] (Sticker)
[Tiara, 17:31] Udah makan?
[Adrian, 17:32] Tadi pas sampai rumah sebelum tidur sempat paksain makan dulu
[Adrian, 17:32] Cuma ya, nggak banyak juga sih
[Adrian, 17:32] Di rumah ga ada orang, nyomotin sisa nasi goreng tadi pagi aja yang harusnya buat sarapan
[Tiara, 17:41] Ini gw kirim gofood ke rumah lu, nanti lu terima ya
[Tiara, 17:41] Makan yang bener. Siapa suruh lu udah begadang, ga sarapan pula, pingsan kan wkwk
[Adrian, 17:42] Wah, makasih loh ra
[Tiara, 17:45] (Sticker)
[Adrian, 18:04] (Photo)
[Adrian, 18:04] Sudah sampai~
[Adrian, 18:04] Makasih ya
[Adrian, 18:04] (Sticker)
[Tiara, 18:10] Sama2 ^^
[Tiara, 18:10] (Sticker)

# Musim hujan, 14 Februari 2017

Aku sedang bersiap merapikan buku-bukuku sebelum pulang sekolah. Kembali ke laci seperti biasa, tentunya. Pada saat itulah aku menyadari, di laciku terdapat sebuah coklat dan kartu ucapan.

“For you

-T”

Aku bergumam. Sejak kapan ia menaruhnya di sana? Apa saat aku sedang ke kantin tadi siang?

[Adrian, 16:14] (Photo)
[Adrian, 16:14] Makasih lho
[Tiara, 16:16] (Sticker)
[Tiara, 16:16] Hahaha
[Tiara, 16:16] Kok tahu wkwk
[Adrian, 16:19] Siapa lagi inisial T
[Tiara, 16:21] Pak Tigor? Wkwkwkwk
[Tiara, 16:21] (Sticker)
[Adrian, 16:22] Gue kirim makasih ke Pak Tigor aja nih ya berarti?
[Tiara, 16:25] Coba aja kalau berani :p
[Tiara, 16:25] Nanti sekalian jadi stensilan “Pak Tigor Guru Olahragaku”
[Adrian, 16:26] (Sticker)
[Adrian, 16:26] Lu kapan gitu naruhnya? Kok gue nggak sadar
[Tiara, 16:26] Hayo tebak
[Tiara, 16:26] (Sticker)
[Adrian, 16:28] Pas jam makan siang gue lagi di kantin?
[Tiara, 16:29] (Sticker)
[Tiara, 16:29] Benar sekali!
[Tiara, 16:29] Gue nitip irfan sih tadi, pas lu udah turun hehe
[Adrian, 16:31] Hadeh
[Adrian, 16:31] Gue tadi lagi makan bareng Lidya sama Faishol padahal
[Tiara, 16:32] Lu nggak ngajak sih :p
[Adrian, 16:33] Kalau gue tadi ngajak, lu nggak jadi ngasih coklat dong :p
[Tiara, 16:35] Kan bisa kasih langsung
[Tiara, 16:35] (Sticker)
[Tiara, 16:35] Tapi gapapa sih, kyk gini lebih surprise hehe

# Musim hujan, 19 Februari 2017

[Tiara, 09:22] Hai, pagi ian
[Adrian, 09:25] Pagi ra
[Adrian, 09:25] (Sticker)
[Tiara, 09:27] Eh iya, lu udah kepikiran daftar univ ke mana?
[Tiara, 09:27] Temenin belajar SBMPTN dongg
[Tiara, 09:27] Hehehe
[Adrian, 09:31] Eh iya gue belum ngasih tau ke lu ya
[Adrian, 09:31] Gue kemarin daftarnya ke univ di amerika
[Adrian, 09:31] Harvard, Ohio State, John Hopkins, Washington, Minnesota, CUNY, sama Kentucky
[Adrian, 09:31] Gue juga ga berencana daftar univ di indo sihh
[Tiara, 09:38] Ehh kenapa? Udah pede dapet ya yang di amerika?
[Adrian, 09:42] Yah disuruh ortu juga sih wkwk
[Adrian, 09:42] Katanya mending kejar yg bagus sekalian aja
[Adrian, 09:42] Jadi ya gitu deh
[Adrian, 09:42] Bapak gue kan alumni Harvard, jadinya doi nyuruh gue gas Harvard aja
[Tiara, 09:49] Wihh keren2
[Tiara, 09:49] Eh hmm
[Tiara, 09:49] (Sticker)
[Tiara, 09:49] Lu sabtu depan kosong ga
[Tiara, 09:49] Jalan yuk, sambil temenin gue ngambis sbm
[Adrian, 09:57] Kosong sih
[Adrian, 09:57] Boleh2
[Adrian, 09:57] Kopitiam yang deket rumahnya irfan itu mau ga?
[Tiara, 10:04] Bolehh
[Tiara, 10:04] (Sticker)

# Musim hujan, 25 Februari 2017

Meja nomor 29. Suasana kafe di pagi hari ini terasa lengang. Aku menunggu Tiara di sini sambil menghirup aroma teh tarik yang kupesan. Tidak biasanya ia terlambat.

“Duh, sori telat nih…”

Akhirnya datang juga.

“Lu udah lama, ian?”
“Gue dari sejam yang lalu sih. Sengaja duluan, bosen di rumah hahaha”
“Duhh maaf ya telat, gara-gara hujan tadi pagi jadi susah banget cari ojeknya”
“Waduh, padahal bisa minta buat gue jemput padahal”

Tiara duduk di seberangku. Pena dan sekumpulan kertas segera ia letakkan di meja.

“Pesan makan dulu gih, ra”
“Nanti dulu deh. Lu tadi pesen apa aja?”
“Teh tarik sama tahu goreng aja sih, nyemil la”
“Bagi dong tahunya”
“Ambil aja, tuh”

Tiara malah langsung mulai mengerjakan soal-soal latihan. Tangan kanannya sibuk dengan pena dan tangan kirinya penuh dengan tahu goreng. Mulutnya sibuk mengunyah.

“Latihan dari bimbel?”
“Iya, ian. Dari kemarin masih nggak bisa ngerjain yang matematika saintek. Pusing banget duhh”

Sejujurnya, aku belum pernah berlatih soal-soal SBMPTN. Jadi aku juga tidak terlalu familiar dengan tipe soalnya. Pikirku, kalau bisa mengerjakan soal-soal sekolah dengan baik dan belajar dengan cara yang benar, seharusnya soal SBMPTN mudah saja kan? Paling-paling masalah terbesarnya hanyalah tekanan dari durasi ujian. Kucoba membantu Tiara pada beberapa soal yang dirasa sulit olehnya.

“Iya, jadi ini tinggal kita bentuk matriks transformasinya, kalikan, selesai deh”
“Wahh, iya ya. Canggih. Makasih, ian!”
“Hehe, sama-sama. Sekarang, cobain deh yang ini. Caranya mirip-mirip”
“Okeei”

Dua jam berlalu. Tiara menghabiskan lembar demi lembar bak orang kesurupan. Sedangkan aku sekadar menonton Tiara saja, sesekali membantu ketika ia kesulitan. Bukan berarti kalau mendaftar ke universitas di Amerika lebih mudah sih, hanya saja perjuanganku berlangsung tahun lalu saat aku sibuk mempersiapkan diri untuk SAT.

“Eh, laper nih. Gue mau order makan dulu. Lu mau order lagi?”
“Boleh-boleh. Titip dong, milo panas sama mee goreng”
“Okei”

Makanan akhirnya tiba.

“Nih, gue tambahin curry prata juga, buat berdua”
“Widih, makasih. Lu beli apa itu?”
“Kaya toast, lagi pengen yang manis-manis aja”
“Nggak makan nasi?”
“Makan kan nggak harus sama nasi, hehehe. Lu juga nggak makan nasi kan?”
“Ya iya sih…”

Seperti biasa, aku selesai makan lebih dahulu daripada Tiara. Kuseruput milo panasku ketika Tiara tiba-tiba berbicara lagi.

“…Adrian?”
“Iya, kenapa?”
“Andaikan lu keterima nanti dan lanjut kuliah di Amerika, apakah lu bakal sering-sering mampir balik ke sini?”
“Entahlah. Mungkin setahun atau dua tahun sekali. Tergantung apakah gue bakal ada duit untuk beli tiket PP atau nggak. Kenapa gitu?”
“Nggak, gapapa kok. Gue cuma penasaran aja”
“Kenapa, lu takut gue tinggal ya? Haha”
“Ih, apaan. Geer.”
“Tenang… kita masih bisa kontakan via LINE kok”
“Ya…”

# Musim hujan, 9 Maret 2017

[Tiara, 18:56] (Voice Note #1)
[Tiara, 19:02] (Voice Note #2)
[Tiara, 19:02] (Sticker)
[Adrian, 19:04] …ra?
[Adrian, 19:04] (Voice Call)
[Tiara, 19:11] Maaf
[Tiara, 19:11] Aku malu
[Tiara, 19:11] Tapi kamu mengerti apa yang dimaksud, kan?
[Adrian, 19:11] Ya, aku mengerti
[Tiara, 19:11] Lalu bagaimana?
[Adrian, 19:11] Pertama
[Adrian, 19:11] Terima kasih
[Adrian, 19:12] Terima kasih telah mempercayakan perasaanmu padaku
[Adrian, 19:12] Namun, maaf
[Adrian, 19:12] Maaf apabila kamu mengharapkan hubungan yang lebih jauh
[Adrian, 19:12] Aku tidak membencimu
[Adrian, 19:12] Tapi aku juga tidak ingin berpacaraan untuk saat ini
[Adrian, 19:12] Aku tidak ingin menggantungmu juga
[Adrian, 19:13] Tapi saat ini, mari kita tetap berjalan seperti biasanya
[Adrian, 19:13] Cinta adalah kata yang berat
[Adrian, 19:13] Tapi aku juga ingin berkata padamu
[Adrian, 19:13] Aku juga sayang padamu. Jangan khawatir soal hal itu
[Tiara, 19:14] …
[Tiara, 19:14] (Sticker)
[Tiara, 19:14] (Sticker)
[Tiara, 19:14] (Sticker)
[Tiara, 19:15] Lalu kenapa, Adrian?
[Adrian, 19:15] Seperti yang kukatakan sebelumnya
[Adrian, 19:15] Cinta adalah hal yang berat
[Tiara, 19:15] Kamu tidak yakin?
[Adrian, 19:16] Aku tidak ingin hal ini merusak persahabatan kita
[Adrian, 19:16] Setidaknya, itu yang kupikirkan
[Adrian, 19:22] …ra?
[Tiara, 19:35] …
[Tiara, 19:35] …
[Tiara, 19:35] …
[Tiara, 19:35] …
[Tiara, 19:35] Maaf
[Tiara, 19:35] Aku ingin dibiarkan sendiri dulu untuk saat ini
[Tiara, 19:35] Tolong jangan hubungi aku sampai kuberitahu lagi
[Adrian, 19:37] It’s okay
[Adrian, 19:37] Take your time
[Adrian, 19:37] I know it must be hard

(Transkrip Voice Note #1)

Angin bulan maret yang berembus halus, menyertai matahari yang mulai terik
Musim akan segera berganti
dan demikian dengan kita

Kita bertemu empat musim yang lalu
Mungkin kau ingat?
Kemarau tahun itu?

Musim berganti
dan demikian dengan kita

(Transkrip Voice Note #2)

Angin bulan maret yang berembus halus, membawa debu terbang jauh
Musim akan segera berganti
dan demikian denganku

(Transkrip Voice Call)

Adrian: “Halo, Tiara?”
Tiara: “Adrian…”
Tiara: “Aku tahu aku akan nyesal kalau nggak bilang ini sekarang, so here goes nothing”
Tiara: “Aku ingat ketika pertama bertemu denganmu”
Tiara: “Saat itu, di ruang ekskul. Aku baru saja bergabung”
Tiara: “Kamu antusias sekali waktu itu memperkenalkan banyak hal padaku”
Tiara: “Aku ingat juga setiap momen kamu menemaniku”
Tiara: “Entah itu menerobos hujan dengan satu jas hujan bersama”
Tiara: “Atau sekadar berbelanja untuk pesta tahun baru”
Tiara: “Seperti kubilang tadi”
Tiara: “Musim akan berganti”
Tiara: “Tapi bagaimana dengan kita?”
Tiara: “Adrian. Aku memutuskan untuk jujur dengan diriku”
Tiara: “Aku sayang padamu”
Tiara: “…”

*Telfon diakhiri oleh Tiara*

# Musim kemarau, 9 Mei 2017

Sudah dua bulan lebih sejak Tiara terakhir bicara denganku. Ia juga agak menghindariku di sekolah. Sial. Apakah aku benar-benar membakar jembatan dengannya? Hari-hariku dipenuhi dengan pikiran rasa bersalah.

Di sisi lain, dalam periode tersebut juga, aku akhirnya menerima hasil penerimaan universitasku. Tentunya, aku ditolak oleh Harvard. Bahkan, aku ditolak oleh semuanya selain CUNY dan University of Kentucky. Aku memilih pergi ke CUNY karena lokasinya di New York.

# Musim kemarau, 11 Mei 2017

[Tiara, 16:24] Halo, Adrian
[Adrian, 16:27] Halo, ra
[Tiara, 16:35] Denger-denger lu keterima di CUNY ya? Selamat ya…
[Tiara, 16:35] (Sticker)
[Adrian, 16:36] (Sticker)
[Adrian, 16:36] Terima kasih, ra
[Tiara, 16:45] At last, kita akhirnya benar-benar akan terpisah…
[Tiara, 16:45] (Sticker)
[Adrian, 16:46] (Sticker)
[Adrian, 16:46] Hanya terpisah jarak kok…
[Adrian, 16:46] Kita masih bisa saling sapa
[Adrian, 16:46] Entah via LINE atau media lainnya
[Adrian, 16:46] I’m still here
[Tiara, 16:51] Kala itu, gue sempet bilang kalau gue bakal nyesal andaikan ga bilang itu
[Tiara, 16:52] Gue pikir gue siap dengan apapun respon dari lu
[Tiara, 16:52] After all, I think it’s better than regretting it for the rest of my life
[Adrian, 16:53] (Sticker)
[Adrian, 16:53] It’s okay…
[Adrian, 16:53] We’re still a couple
[Adrian, 16:53] A couple of bestie 😀
[Tiara, 16:55] Haha
[Tiara, 16:55] Benar
[Tiara, 16:55] Good luck di Amerika, ian
[Adrian, 16:57] Thanks!
[Adrian, 16:57] Berlaku juga untuk lu. Good luck studinya!

# Musim panas, 2 Juli 2017. New York City.

[Adrian, 08:35] Halo, ra
[Adrian, 08:35] Ini pagi pertama gue terbangun di New York
[Adrian, 08:35] (Photos)
[Adrian, 08:35] Sekarang lagi jam makan malam ya di sana?
[Tiara, 08:42] Wahh
[Tiara, 08:42] Iya, ini lagi makan malam
[Tiara, 08:42] (Photos)
[Adrian, 08:47] Sarapan dulu, hehe
[Adrian, 08:47] (Photos)
[Adrian, 08:47] Pizza sisa semalam dimicrowave sih hahaha
[Tiara, 08:51] (Sticker)
[Tiara, 08:51] Makan yang sehat di sana…
[Adrian, 08:53] Siapp wkwk

# Musim gugur, 29 September 2017. New York City.

[Adrian, 22:38] Halo, ra
[Adrian, 22:38] How’s life di Malang?
[Tiara, 22:41] Halo
[Tiara, 22:41] (Photos)
[Tiara, 22:41] (Photos)
[Tiara, 22:41] Dingin di sini, hahaha
[Tiara, 22:41] Tapi di sana lebih dingin lagi ya?
[Adrian, 22:43] Iya nih
[Adrian, 22:43] Musim gugur di sini
[Adrian, 22:45] Lu pernah dengar nggak
[Adrian, 22:45] Katanya bunga sakura gugur dengan kecepatan 5 centimeter per detik
[Adrian, 22:45] Atau kalau kata orang Amerika sih 1.96 inch per detik
[Tiara, 22:48] Kebanyakan nonton anime lu mah
[Adrian, 22:49] Hahaha, tahu referensinya ya
[Adrian, 22:49] Yah, semoga kita tidak seperti bunga sakura
[Adrian, 22:49] Perlahan tapi pasti, menjauh dari rantingnya
[Adrian, 22:49] dan jatuh ke tanah
[Tiara, 22:51] Semoga…
[Tiara, 22:51] (Sticker)
[Adrian, 22:55] Gue tidur duluan ya. Sudah mau jam 11 di sini. Goodnight~
[Tiara, 22:57] Goodnight~


Penulis: VP

Vergissmeinnicht

Entry Writchal #2
Tema: High School Romance


Vergissmeinnicht

====================================================

Musim Panas, Tahun Kelima Belas Era Kekuasaan Ratu Theresia

Hari itu, sepulang sekolah, aku melihat seseorang berambut cokelat yang hanya diam selama berjam-jam di bawah pohon ek. Entah apa yang ada di pikirannya. Gerak-geriknya sangat aneh. Terkadang, ia terlihat menggali tanah seperti sedang mencari sesuatu. Sesekali, ia juga berusaha memanjat pohon ek itu meskipun gagal sampai ke puncak. Karena penasaran, aku pun akhirnya mendekatinya.

Apa kau ingat? Itu adalah saat pertama kali aku bertemu denganmu. Aku masih ingat betul, saat itu kau memakai kemeja putih lusuh yang telah ternodai oleh tanah dan celana panjang cokelat dengan tambalan di sana-sini.

Sadar akan kehadiranku, kau pun menghampiri dan menyapaku. Aku membalas sapaanmu, lalu bertanya “Kegiatan apa yang sedang kamu lakukan?” Kau lalu menjawab pertanyaanku dengan penjelasan panjang lebar mengenai tupai, bunga, dan pohon ek.

Sebenarnya aku tidak terlalu mengerti apa yang kau katakan. Namun, entah mengapa, kau menarik perhatianku. Aku suka ekspresimu yang terlihat sangat bersemangat ketika sedang menjelaskan sesuatu, terutama lirikan mata cokelatmu itu. Aku juga suka gerakan tanganmu yang seolah menari-nari mengikuti arah pembicaraanmu.

Setelah itu, kita berkenalan. “Victor.” Ucapmu sambil menjabat tanganku. “Nama yang bagus.” Ucapku di dalam hati.

Kita lalu saling bertukar cerita, baik cerita senang maupun cerita sedih. Kau memberitahuku bahwa kau adalah seorang penjual bunga. Kau juga bercerita bahwa kau tinggal seorang diri di sebuah rumah tua pinggir sungai. Setiap hari, kau memetik bunga lalu menjualnya ke pasar rakyat. Bunga-bunga itu pada awalnya merupakan bunga liar yang kau rawat dan budidayakan di tanah kosong dekat rumahmu.

Untuk memenuhi kebutuhan sehari-hari, kamu biasa mencari makanan dari lingkungan sekitarmu. Mencari beri ke hutan, berburu kelinci liar, atau mengumpulkan acorn.

Sejak saat itu, kita makin akrab. Setiap pulang sekolah, aku selalu mampir ke rumahmu. Sambil menungguku dijemput oleh pelayan pribadiku, kau menemaniku bermain. Kau juga selalu mengajakku ke tempat-tempat menakjubkan yang belum pernah aku lihat sebelumnya. Kita mencari beri ke hutan, berjalan menyusuri sungai, atau sekedar tiduran di atas padang rumput sambil melihat awan. Kau menunjukkan sebuah dunia baru yang belum pernah aku rasakan sebelumnya.

========================================================

Musim Dingin, Tahun Kelima Belas Era Kekuasaan Ratu Theresia

Musim dingin telah tiba, sekolah pun akhirnya libur. Seluruh kota menjadi berwarna putih tertutupi salju. Suhu udara menurun drastis sampai membuat sampai membuat seluruh penduduk kota menggigil kedinginan.

Aku terkurung di kamarku yang berada di lantai dua rumah. Bukan karena dikurung oleh orangtuaku, melainkan karena aku tidak kuat menghadapi udara dingin. Selimut hangat dan teh panas yang menemaniku sangat cocok untuk menghangatkan tubuhku, tapi tidak untuk hatiku. Aku merindukanmu, Vic.

Tak disangka, kau tiba-tiba mengetuk jendela kamarku. Aku pun terkejut dan menyemburkan teh yang sedang aku minum. Kau pun tertawa terbahak-bahak. Saking asyiknya tertawa, kau pun terjatuh dari tangga yang kau naiki. Aku lalu bergegas memakai pakaian hangatku dan segera keluar rumah untuk mengecek kondisimu.

Untungnya, kau terjatuh ke atas tumpukan salju tebal yang menumpuk sehingga tidak mengalami luka yang fatal. Kau bahkan masih bisa menertawaiku yang terlihat sangat mengkhawatirkan kondisimu. Saat itu, aku yang malu secara refleks melemparkan bola salju ke arah wajahmu. Setelah itu, kita pada akhirnya malah bermain lempar salju.

Setelah puas bermain lempar salju, kau mengajakku membangun orang-orangan salju. Dengan menggunakan bahan-bahan seadanya seperti ranting pohon dan kacang, kau menghias boneka salju itu. Kini, boneka salju itu telah memiliki mata dan hidung walaupun masih tidak karuan bentuk wajahnya. Meskipun begitu, aku tetap senang karena kau telah mencoba menghiburku.

Keesokan harinya, aku terkena demam. Menyebalkan sekali rasanya, semua makanan terasa pahit dan aku hanya bisa berbaring di kasur sepanjang hari. Lebih parahnya lagi, aku tidak bisa bertemu denganmu selama berhari-hari karena aku dilarang keluar rumah sampai sembuh. Untungnya, sesekali kamu mengunjungiku untuk sekedar membawakan kacang atau mengecek kondisiku. Aku senang. Setelah beberapa hari, aku akhirnya sembuh dan bisa kembali bermain denganmu.

Setiap hari, kau mengunjungi kamarku. Kita pun lalu berbincang hangat seperti musim-musim sebelumnya. Kau bercerita bahwa bunga-bunga tidak tumbuh di musim dingin sehingga kau beralih profesi menjadi penjual koran untuk sementara waktu. Meskipun begitu, kau bilang bahwa kau cukup senang dan menikmati pekerjaan barumu itu.

Musim dingin waktu itu terasa spesial bagiku, terutama karena kejadian pada malam tahun baru. Seperti biasa, kau mengetuk jendela kamarku. Namun, kali ini kau mengejutkanku. Tak seperti biasanya, kau memberikanku hadiah berupa syal dan sarung tangan rajutan berwarna biru, seperti warna kesukaanku. Kau lalu bilang bahwa kau sengaja menabung uang hasil jualan demi membelikanku hadiah. Bagiku, hal itu sangat istimewa. Aku merasa sangat bahagia dan langsung memelukmu. Saat itu, aku mulai jatuh hati padamu.

========================================================

Musim Semi, Tahun Keenam Belas Era Kekuasaan Ratu Theresia

Musim semi telah tiba. Bunga di seluruh penjuru kota kembali bermekaran. Kau pun akhirnya kembali menjual bunga. Kali ini, kau bercerita bahwa omzetmu meningkat drastis. Seluruh bungamu laku keras. Kau lalu menjelaskan bahwa semua bungamu dipesan untuk festival bunga tahunan yang diselenggarakan oleh sekolahku. Kau juga diminta untuk membantu mendekor sekolah dengan bunga untuk festival tahun ini. Mendengar hal tersebut, aku sangat bahagia.

Sekolahku adalah sekolah khusus wanita bangsawan sehingga hampir tidak ada pria seumuranku di sini. Pelajaran di kelas tidak terlalu memusingkanku, tetapi pergaulan di sini sangat memuakkan. Setiap hari, setelah kelas berakhir, hampir semua siswi di sini hanya berbicara mengenai keluarga mereka atau mengadu kekayaan mereka. Mereka juga sangat sombong. Aku tidak menyukai mereka.

Oleh karena itu, biasanya ketika jam istirahat, aku selalu pergi ke halaman belakang sekolah seorang diri untuk sekedar melihat-lihat pemandangan. Namun, kali ini, aku bisa melakukannya bersamamu. Kita lalu menghias sekolah dengan berbagai bunga warna-warni sambil berbincang hangat.

Kau membantu menghias taman, sementara aku membantu mendekor gedung-gedung sekolah. Di sela-sela kegiatan, kau memberitahuku makna dari berbagai bunga atau yang biasa kau sebut “bahasa bunga”. Ada yang melambangkan kesetiaan, ambisi, simpati, kesedihan, bahkan kasih yang tak sampai.

Kau juga sempat mengatakan bahwa kau iri kepadaku yang bisa bersekolah dan hidup berkecukupan. Padahal, bagiku malah sebaliknya. Aku iri padamu yang bisa hidup bebas dan bahagia setiap hari tanpa perlu memikirkan urusan sekolah atau rutinitas bangsawan yang membosankan ini.

Hari festival pun tiba. Pada festival bunga tahunan ini, setiap orang dari berbagai kelas boleh datang berkunjung. Kita berkeliling sekolah menikmati acara. Ada parade musik, pameran karya, dan juga banyak orang yang berjualan. Namun, momen yang tak akan kulupakan adalah saat ketika kau menyatakan perasaanmu padaku.

Di dekat gedung tempat lonceng sekolah berada, kau tiba-tiba berlutut di hadapanku. Kau lalu menyatakan perasaanmu sambil memberikan hadiah berupa cincin perak dengan sebuah safir kecil yang sangat indah. Aku menangis bahagia dan langsung mencium bibirmu.

Sejak saat itu, kita akhirnya resmi berpacaran. Namun, aku merahasiakannya dari orang tuaku karena takut mereka tidak setuju. Ayahku adalah seorang bangsawan yang memiliki pengaruh cukup besar di kerajaan. Sayangnya, ia sangat menganggap rendah orang yang bukan berasal dari keluarga bangsawan. Aku takut kita tak bisa bersama lagi jika ia mengetahui hubungan kita.

=======================================================

Musim Panas, Tahun Keenam Belas Era Kekuasaan Ratu Theresia

Kebahagiaan kita tidak berlangsung lama.

Musim panas saat itu sangat berbeda dengan musim panas sebelumnya. Perang sedang berkecamuk. Kerajaan Ingrannia diserang oleh negeri tetangga, Frinsia. Sekolah ditutup sampai waktu yang tidak ditentukan. Alhasil, aku kembali terkurung di rumah. Kondisi negara yang sedang tidak stabil menjadi alasan bagi ayahku untuk kembali melarangku keluar rumah.

Saat itu, mungkin sudah sekitar seminggu lamanya kita tidak bertemu, Vic. Aku pun akhirnya mencari celah untuk bisa keluar rumah. Saat semua keluarga dan pelayanku sedang lengah, aku akhirnya berhasil pergi menemuimu.

Saat kutemui, kau sedang berdiam diri di rumahmu dan merenung. Aku lalu menanyai kabarmu. “Aku tidak sedang baik-baik saja.” katamu. Aku sempat sedikit menggodanya. Namun, saat kutanya alasannya, kau akhirnya menjelaskan alasan di balik kesedihanmu.

“Akibat perang yang sedang berkecamuk, semua pemuda di negara ini harus mengikuti wajib militer. Aku hanya punya waktu satu minggu sebelum pergi meninggalkan kota ini.”

Hatiku hancur mendengar perkataan itu. Aku langsung memelukmu pada saat itu sambil menangis. Belum kering air mataku, masalah lain kembali datang. Ayahku ternyata berhasil menyusuri jejakku dan memergokiku ketika sedang berpelukan denganmu.

Ia langsung marah besar, menampar pipimu, lalu memaksaku pulang. Ayahku berkata padamu “Kau tidak layak untuk putriku, dasar orang rendahan!” sambil bergegas membawaku pulang ke rumah.

Aku kembali dikurung di kamarku, tetapi dengan penjagaan yang jauh lebih ketat. Pada malam itu, aku hanya bisa menangis. Hatiku tercabik-cabik. Aku takut kehilangan dirimu, Vic.

Seminggu setelah kejadian itu, entah bagaimana caranya, engkau tiba-tiba muncul di jendela kamarku dan mengetuknya. Aku senang, akhirnya kita bisa berjumpa lagi. Namun, aku tahu bahwa kau ingin mengucapkan perpisahan. Hari itu adalah waktu ketika kau pergi ke luar kota untuk mengikuti wajib militer.

Kau berkata “Akan aku buktikan pada ayahmu bahwa aku layak menjadi pasanganmu! Meskipun sulit, aku akan menjadi orang sukses. Tunggulah aku, setelah perang ini telah usai, aku akan kembali membangun bisnisku. Aku akan membuatnya berkembang hingga bisa dikenal di seluruh negeri. Setelah itu, aku akan kembali ke rumah ini dan melamarmu.”

Aku lalu berkata “Berjanjilah bahwa kau akan kembali!”

Kau lalu membalasnya “Janji!”

Sebagai bukti keseriusanmu, kau membawakanku buket bunga forget-me-not.

“Bunga ini berwarna biru, seperti warna kesukaanmu. Bunga ini juga menyimbolkan cinta sejati. Selain itu, seperti namanya, aku harap kau selalu mengingatku, sama seperti aku yang selalu mengingatmu.” ucapmu.

Setelah itu, kita kembali berpelukan. Lalu, kau bergegas pergi sambil menahan air matamu. Aku melambaikan tanganku sambil menyaksikanmu perlahan pergi meninggalkanku.

========================================================

Musim Semi, Tahun Kedua Puluh Enam Era Kekuasaan Ratu Theresia

Sudah sepuluh tahun sejak kepergianmu. Perang pun sudah berakhir tiga tahun yang lalu, tetapi kau tak kunjung dating, Vic. Setiap hari aku selalu menunggumu. Bunga forget-me-not yang kau berikan waktu itu telah aku keringkan dan awetkan, lalu aku pajang di kamarku sebagai memento keberadaanmu.

Bagaimana kabarmu?

Apa saja hal-hal yang kau lakukan selama ini?

Apakah kamu masih menyukai bunga?

Apakah kau makan teratur?

Apakah kamu masih hidup?

Apakah kamu membenciku?

Apakah kamu masih mengingatku?

Apakah kamu masih ingat janjimu?


Penulis: Traveler R

Entry Writchal #2
Tema: Highschool Romance


The sky sparkles with stars. Sitting next to a void, I retrace my memory.

It was summer, I was moving to another city with my family.

I sit in the car, looking through the car’s window. Flowers blooming along the road, as I wonder where this journey will lead me to.

The car stopped, I stepped out and see a huge field full of blooming flowers.

“We will take a short rest here, you father needs some rest. Don’t play too far, the flowers are tall, be careful not to get lost okay?” Said my mother.

“Okay.”

I run through the small path, grabbing a dandelion in my hand, feeling the wind touches my body. Then I see a girl next to a tree in the middle of the field. Sitting on a swing, waist-length brown hair, round eyes, dressed in a white one piece. She smiles and waves to me, her other hand holds the sun hat on her head as the wind breezes gently.

“My name is-“ she tips my mouth before I finished talking.

“Sshhh, the monsters will hear you.” She whispered.

“What monsters?” I whispered to her.

“Look over there, can’t you see it?” She pointed to the flower bushes behind me.

I look toward the bushes, something shakes the bushes. I feel tense, my legs shake, I want to run but I just can’t. The thing gets closer and closer.

“BAAAAA!” She shouts behind me as a dog comes out from the bushes.

I lose balance and fall. She is laughing at me, mocking me with her laugh. The dog barks to me, as if falling to the ground isn’t enough. I try to hold my tears, but I end up wiping my eyes anyway. She comes closer to me, lowering her body. She lends me her hand, still laughing.

“I’m just kidding, there are no monsters. I’m sorry okay, you can stop crying now.” She said.

I lift my head, she picks the dandelion in my hand and put it on my right ear.

“Will you forgive me now?” She asked.

“Sniff… sniff… yes.” What a good boy, just like my dog.

She mocks me again. Her dog snuggles to her, wagging it’s tail.

“His name is Puffy. I found him sitting on the side if the road 2 years ago on a trip with my family. His condition was miserable when I found him, so I adopted him.” She said.

“So what brings you here?” She asked.

“I… I am moving with my family. What about you?”

“I often come to this field, it’s beautiful here. Whenever I feel lonely, or when I miss my father, I always come here.” She answered.

“I used to play with my father here, but now it’s just me and my mother.” She said with a low voice.

I think her father died, but I don’t have enough courage to ask her, so I stay silent.

“Enough of that. Do you really believe there are monsters here? Your reaction was hilarious. Hahahaha.” She mocks me.

“Yes, my parents told me not to listen to strangers, but I think you are not bad person, so I trusted you.”

“Hahahaha. Sorry for that.” She said.

After that, we play together, running through the field, playing the swing, catching bugs.

Time passes, I made a flower head band and put it on her head.

“What do you think? Is it good?”

“Yes, I like it. Thank you.” She said, smiling at me.

I smiled back to her. I hear my mother calling for me.

“Ah, I think I should go back now. My mother is already calling for me.” I said.

“See you later! Promise me we will meet again okay! I appoint you as my friend, and friend keeps their promise!” She said.

“I- I promise…”

I run back to the car. The dandelion still on my ear.

I think of what I said before, why did I say that… I don’t even know if I will meet her again. I brush it off and continue living my life.


Years passed, I am now a highschooler, final year, edgy phase.

“Hey, what are you contemplating? Are you thinking about your grades? Don’t worry, my grades are bad too.” My friend approached me.

His name is Blaire. I met him on my first year and he befriended me.

“Nahh, get off me. You are depleting the oxygen around, I’m starting to feel dizzy.”

“Hey, you want to go to karaoke tonight? The girls are all coming, as your friend, I don’t want you to miss this opportunity. If you are lucky, you might be able to preserve your bloodline tonight.” He said.

“No, thank you. I prefer watching random primitive building videos till 3 AM tonight.”

“C’mon… stop with those videos, I have better videos for you to watch. It involves the girls that will come to the karaoke tonight. How about that?” He replied.

“No, thank you.”

“Ah, you’re such a rockhead. Anyway, just hit me up if you change your mind.” He said.

Finally, peace and solitude.

It’s spring, my favorite season because the weather just perfect. Flowers are blooming, birds singing, wind breezes gently.

As I walk out from the school gate, a girl suddenly approached me.

“HELLLOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Do you remember me?” She said.

A beautiful girl, long brown hair, beautiful eyes, in an elite looking high school uniform. Her face is familiar, but I can’t remember who.

“Uhh… pardun?”

“Ah, you can’t recognize me. You believed when I said there are monsters at the flower field.” She said.

“Hey, I was a kid back then.”

“Well, I didn’t expect to meet you here. Did you study here?” She said.

“Yes, isn’t it obvious?”

“Anyway, we haven’t met for a loooooooooooong time. How about a drink? It’s on me.” She asked.

“Uhhh, I-“

She pulled my arm before I could finish my sentence. Annoying… just like back then.

We arrived at a coffee shop.

“Table for two please.” She said to the worker.

“This way please.” Said the worker.

Well, since I’m already here, it will be impolite to just leave. Good thing my parents teach me manner.

We take a seat and she finally let go of my arm.

“One orange juice please! What do you want to drink?” She asked.

“Plain water please.”

The waiter nods and leaves.

“Tell me about your story. What happened during all these times.” She said.

“I inhale, I exhale.”

She laughed.

“Well, for me. I don’t have much story to be told too. But I am happy I could meet an old friend.” She said.

“I just live a very normal life. Move into this city, go to school, aim for good university, get bad grades, pretty normal.”

The waiter brings the drinks to our table.

“What about friend? You must have a lot of friends don’t you?” She asked.

“No.”

“What about girlfriend? Ehehehe.” She asked.

“Is that an insult?”

“You are in high school, surely you have something interesting right?” She said.

“You see this water? This represents my life.”

She laughed.

“My life is also pretty much normal I think.” She said.

“I don’t ask.”

She laughed.

“Looks like someone in their edgy phase.” She said.

Her alarm suddenly rings.

“Ah, looks like I need to go now. I’ll see you later!” She said.

“Wait, you haven’t drink your order.”

“Ah, sorry. You can drink it if you want. I need to leave now.”

She paid the drinks and rushes out, not even touching the drink she ordered. So I drink it and leave. At least better than throwing the drink away.


The next day, she greets me as I leave the school entrance, waving her hand and smiling to me.

“Ehmm… looks like someone has a girlfriend already.” Blaire said.

“Nahh, it’s just an old friend.”

“I can get you hotel if you want. I’ll pay.” He said.

“Get lost.”

I approached her.

“Why are you here?”

“Hey, do you have spare time? Let’s go on a walk.” She said.

She doesn’t answer my question.

“Well, actually I do have some free time-“

“Then let’s go!” She said.

She pulled my arm before I can finish my sentence.

We arrived at a theme park. She finally let go of my arm.

“Tickets for two please.” She said to the worker.

“Here is the money, Sir.”

“You two are such a cute couple. Oh the bliss of youth.” Said the worker.

“Ah- No, we aren’t couple. Just old friends.”

We entered the park, she is looking down.

“Thank you for the ticket.” She whispered.

“It’s just fair, you paid for the drinks yesterday.”

She suddenly pulls my arm again.

“Let’s go there!” She said.

We tried a lot of ride in the park. We also bought some cotton candy. She pulls my arm everywhere we go. No wonder people mistakes us as couple.

“The Ferris Wheel. Must have scene in every theme park chapter in romance anime.” She said.

She is quite cultured I might say.

It’s finally our turn.

“Please watch your steps.” Said the worker.

We sit face to face. The door closes and the wheel slowly rises.

“Hey, I haven’t get any of your contact. What’s your phone number?” She asked.

We exchanged contact. Phone numbers, LINE, Facebook, Instagram, Discord, WeChat, NicoNicoDouga, Bilibili, Youtube channels, and much more.

The wheel reaching it’s peak.

“Isn’t it beautiful?” She asked while looking outside the window.

“The city, bathed in golden sun light, wind blows gently, truly a work of art. I wish time could freeze. I want this moment to stay.” She smiled. But I can somehow see a bit of sadness in that smile.

I smiled a bit.

“If this makes you happy. Maybe we can do it again sometime?”

“Wow, such a generous offer from Mr. Edgy.” She laughed.

We get off from the wheel. It’s almost dark.

“Thank you for today.” She said while looking down.

“Actually, I kinda enjoyed this. So… thank you.”

We walk in awkward silence for a while, she still looks down.

“Uhmm… do you live near here? It’s almost dark, I can accompany you back to your house if you want.”

She lifts her head.

“No need to. My house is a bit far, I can take care of myself too. Don’t worry.” She smiled.

“Okay then. See you!”

“See you!” She said.

We part way. I walk back to my house.

“Hey, are you already at home?” I texted her while entering my house.

I cleaned myself and hop on the bed. The best place in the world where the gravity fluctuates depending on the day, time, and my mood.

No answer yet. Maybe she is not home yet.

“Today was fun.” I said to myself.

“When was the last time I feel this kind of happiness? I can’t remember.”

“Why would she approach me… and why is she so outgoing to me? We have only met once, and that was years ago. Yeah sure she appointed me as her friend. We promised to meet again. But we were kids back then. Kids break their promises.”

“Well… as long as I am happy I think.”

Ding! My phone rings.

“Sorry, I just came home. There was a traffic jam.” She said.

“Understandable, have a nice day.”

“Hahahaha” She said.

“Do you have any plan tomorrow? It’s Christmas. Maybe we can go to the aquarium?”

“Eh? Mr. Edgy asking me out now??? AWOKAOWKAOWKAOWK.” She replied.

I didn’t expect that.

“Okay, let’s meet up at the park tomorrow, 10 AM sharp.” She said.

“Sure.”


The next day, I come to the park just like we talked before. Time shows 9:55, 5 minutes earlier because I’ve got bad experiences of getting late. The park is not so crowded, only few people hanging around, talking to each other, walking their pets, some even dare to do lewd thing such as holding hands. Birds chirping is really calming. Time shows 9:59. She isn’t here yet.

“Where are you?” I texted her.

“Look to your right.” She replied.

Blue cold-shoulder outfit and a dark blue skirt. Side braids tied to a small, frayed ponytail behind her head. Holding a handbag that the author can’t describe.

“Hi.” I waved at her.

Her face approaches mine. She put her hand on my head.

“Are you ill? Did you hit your head?” She said.

“My old friend won’t greet me first, let alone wave at me.” She continued.

“Wha-“

“ANYWAY. WHERE WILL BE GOING TODAY?” She said cheerfully.

“Aquarium.”

“Oh, right.” She said.

We walked to the Aquarium, it’s not far from the park.

“Tickets for two please” She said to the worker.

“Romantic zone or normal zone?” The worker asked.

“Ro-“ She said.

“Normal zone please.”

“Eh, what did you say?”

“Nevermind.” She said.

We go inside the Aquarium. The first zone is the deep sea zone, most oceans worldwide consist of deep sea at a depth of 200 meters and more, and they have re-created the mysterious world of the deep sea here with approximately 100 species of deep-sea marine creatures that are rarely seen.

“Look, giant octopuses!” She said.

“That’s a squid.”

“Really?” She said.

“Yes, octopuses have round spherical head. Squids have triangular head.”

“Woah, they have lots of animals here.” She said.

“Look over there.” I said as I point my finger.

“A fish.”

“Ahahaha, you dummy.” She said.

We approached a peculiar showcase in the zone. On the panel written “Melanocetus johnsonii”. It looks like an anglerfish.

“When a male finds a female, which can be up to 60 times his size, he clamps onto her underside with tiny translucent fangs. The comparatively minuscule male’s love nip then turns into a permanent attachment: his mouth, and eventually even his blood vessels, fuse to the female to provide her eggs with on demand fertilization.”

“Love really leaves you defenseless, huh. Sacrificing yourself for the one you love.” She said with a low voice, putting her hand on the showcase glass.

“That’s true, but not true. Yes it’s true, the fish sacrificed itself. But we are human. We have intelligence.”

“Even humans are animal.” She said.

“ANYWAY, LET’S SEE THE OTHER SHOWCASES.” She replied suddenly.

We walked through the zone and we are at the 4D theater. The theater is almost empty, so we sit at the middle area. No other people in the radius of 5 units in taxicab geometry from each of our seat. The theater will be about deep sea creatures as seen on the poster outside.

“Uhm, are you okay with horror movies?”

“Y-yes.” She said.

“Well… this might not be a good idea to watch the theater.”

“No… what could possibly go wrong? I said I’m okay. It’s about fishes anyway.” She said.

The lights turn off. The movie begins.

“The vast ocean covers about 70% of earth’s surface. From the shallow waters, to the deep waters. Where the sun can reach, and where darkness reigns. In the deep, dark water lives many bizzare creatures. Many are rarely seen. The ice cold temperature filters only the most suitable creatures can survive. Those creatures exist in a place where light can’t reach, with pressures as strong as your deadlines. We will take you through a journey you will never forget. The Sunless Sea.”

“Cool.” I said.

I looked at her. She doesn’t say a thing, very unusual. Her pupils dilated.

“Hey, can you hear me?”

“A- sorry, I’m just thinking about something.” She said.

“Hehehe… are you sure? Your hands are trembling a bit.”

“N-no, what do you mean?” She replied.

Actually, her hands are not trembling. Teasing her is fun. She is cute when scared.

Suddenly a shark jumps into the audience. It looks like coming out from the screen.

“AAAAHH-“ She screamed, hiding in my arm.

“I remember someone said it’s about fishes anyway. But I forgot who said that. Hmmm.”

“U-uh… yes. It’s about fishes anyway.”

The movie lasted for 30 minutes. She hides on my arm almost all the time.

“Hey, are you okay? You doesn’t look well.”

“I’m fine.” She said, still hugging my arm.

“If you stay like this, people might think we are a couple.”

“Sorry if this disturbs you.” She said, releasing my arm.

I can’t, she is too cute.

“Actually, it’s okay… I think.”

She grabs my arm. I think… I fall in love.